Chocolates, greeting cards, flowers, and dinner dates. Today is one of great American commercial holidays that celebrate the beauty, or love, for capitalism. I will admit that I do buy into Valentines Day to a large extent. Like most men, just the thought of my girlfriend withholding anything from me makes me shiver. So, it truly is best to just buy the flowers, book a date, and get this meaningless day over with.
I like to think of myself as a self-proclaimed expert on the flower industry. For one, I once took a class called the Economics of Flowers. Yes, that was the course name. Secondly, I have also weaseled my way through a solid amount of mishaps and conflicts with women by the delicate gift of a solid bouquet.
Though, over the years I have thoroughly refined my Valentines approach.Just incase you forgot that today is Valentines Day, I have a simple methodology that will not only save you money, but also earn you major brownie points:
In a few sentences, I will explain to you how the flower industry operates. For the most part, big flower websites outsource their cutting and delivery to local florist. The websites take a hefty transaction fee and then send the order out to a local chop shop to design a relatively standardized bouquet. The local florist willingly accepts a smaller margin in hopes of attracting more business through the transactional convenience of the large website.
Add in basic supply and demand. By tomorrow and the day after, the smaller, local shops are going to be swamped with an over supply of ready-to-cut flowers. Demand will be completely shot, and there is your way into a great deal.
Call a local florist. Tell them that you are willing to go straight to them and not through the website. Also tell them you want a deal on the bouquet because the florist down the road said they would do an $80 bouquet for an easy $50. These price proportions work for about any price range, and an $80 dollar bouquet normally holds about 12-14 main flowers like roses, and about another 12 on complementary flowers. Negotiate on the amount of flowers, not price.
By the end of today your girlfriend will already assume you have written flowers out of the picture. But in a few days, you have created the essence of under promising but over delivering when her flowers arrive.
Here is a bonus for you: Since most of you cannot talk about much else besides finance, banking, and current events, go to FED Valentines and print some out some of those hilariously great pictures at a print and copy shop. Make a simple card with 2 of the FED Valentines and a small note. It will take a total of 20 minutes out of your day. I would know, I just did it.
So boys, remember that a little thought and some effort will go a long way in the eyes of your special someone. Valentines Day also does not have to break the bank. Though, I guess you could always just get your intern, analyst, or secretary to handle all the details of today. If that is the case, the least you could do is hand them my tutorial on scoring a successful 2012 Valentines.
I once had a girlfriend cry and start having an emotional seizure because I didn't do anything for Valentines day. In a fit of rage I pulled the car over, went to a grocery store and bought the first card I could fine and threw it at her. Magically she calmed down.
Yeah, I am not with that psycho anymore.
Pro tip - celebrate Valentines day on the weekend before because you have a busy week or something. Flowers cheap, no rush to book a restaurant, etc. Just celebrate near the day, not on it and your life will be so much easier.
Definitely agree with ANT. No reason to celebrate on the 14th, even though i wind up doing it anyway. Weekend trip to lake placid is where it's at.
Here's a pro tip that you can use on V-Day and other days:
NEVER, EVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES do you send flowers to a girl at home when it could be sent to her work or office. If she's in an office, send her flowers. Women are conniving, jealous creatures and NOTHING makes them happier than to make other conniving, jealous women exactly that . . . jealous. You send her flowers at home, you'll get a polite "thank you". You send her flowers at work, fughedaboudit, it's all she'll talk about for the whole week and she'll rip your clothes off the next time she sees you.
I formed this theory with the following true story: I was an intern in DC at an office with a lot of women. One day a delivery guy came in with this massive bouquet delivery. Flowers in an office send out a magical homing signal that call out to all women in a 2-mile radius. The guy was busy looking for his papers and by the time he looked up, EVERY woman in the office, was surrounding him. It was like they were about to announce the winner of a billion dollar lottery - which it is since the woman who got the flowers would be able to gloat in front of every other woman. The delivery guy gets his shit together and says "These are for Sally, where's Sally?". The problem is we had no Sally. THE GUY HAD THE WRONG OFFICE! You could not imagine a room full of women more mad than this group. It was really on the verge of getting a little tense because all the women were mad at the poor guy. Luckily the guy got out of there with all his limbs, but you cannot imagine how excited all these women were over some flowers and they were literally mad that the flowers were not for them.
Good man.
Flowers in an office full of nurses? Fughedaboudit, your girl's smile must have been from ear-to-ear feeling like a million bucks. Not because she got the flowers, but because the other women didn't get the flowers. Women are evil that way :)
Instead of bouquets, how about an orchid plant? Or some type of plant that won't wilt after a couple of days. Lilies are good options. You can tell your significant other that you didn't want to get him/her something that will fade in a couple of days - but will last for a long time because that's how you feel about him/her. You'll score bonus points plus it's cheaper. Trader Joe's, Ikea, Home Depot often have pretty flower plants that are ~$20 or less.
I once gave my girlfriend a gingko tree.
Give her a flower, bitches love flower
This thread is spot on. To put it into finance terms; women are all about relative value on Vtines Day. You can get a crappy gift, but as long as it's the least crappy gift among her friends you're golden. My strategy every year, is to just one-up all her friends SO's. However, last year it triggered an arms race - as no dude wanted to listen to a complaining gf.
If we were to all come to an agreement, we could end this travesty of a "holiday."
Then again, it would only take one guy to fuck it up.
Just give her nothing and give her something the next and say that everyday is valetine...
Remind her that the flowers are like a loan that will be returned with interest on 3/14.
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