Edmundo was kind enough to post the link to the new Money Never Sleeps trailer. Honestly, the trailer failed to get me excited and made the film seem like another steamer courtesy of Oliver Stone. Though I keep hoping the director will return to his glory days, when he made Platoon and Wall Street back to back, I think there's a greater chance of Obama giving Timmy Geithner a happy ending.
But, what should really ease the pain, I think, is the knowledge that Shia TheBeef is a doofy green screen action hero no longer -- beginning in April, when the movie is released, he will show that he is now a master thespian, who knows a thing or two about what it takes to get hired at a little place called Goldman.
Oh yes, according to USA Today (which is now just one large pie chart), Sheba arrived in Manhattan two-and-a-half months early to learn the ins and outs of proprietary trading. Obama's timing on nixing prop trading a coincidence?? Nuh uh.
"I talked to a lot of Goldman's people, and one of the requirements of getting a job takes place in the first five minutes of an interview," Sheila said. "They take you out to eat. The minute the menu hits the table, if you can't order within 30 seconds, you don't have the job."
WHOA, Sheba, WHOA girl. How long does it normally take you to order? Even if the menu is in German, Shila, you're still ordering the tube steak, leeet's be honest here. I want to know who he talked to at Goldman. Blankfein, you whore.
AND...What happens after 30 seconds of an interview at Citigroup?? I have so many questions.
What's more, Mr. TheBeef is not hesitant to brag about his new-found trading skills: "I opened up an account when I first met Oliver [Stone]," LaBoof says. "It was $20,000. This morning, it was $297,000." Damn, this just got real. That's more than I'm worth.
According to my sources, LaBeef is also a Level 1 CFA candidate with his own E-Trade account and has Bloomberg on speed dial: "I manage my own portfolio. I check through the day, read the daily Wall Street Journal ... carry my laptop on the set, have Bloomberg on speed-dial. I now have lots of friends in lots of places."
As Jon Lovitz, the real Master Thespian, said, "Acting!" Though I do think we have to give the guy some credit. He's clearly done, like, some research. I bet he'll open a boutique. Le Beouf Group, Ltd...?
From the picture above, it seems that traders are riding to work on mopeds wearing leather jackets...and the people complain about how they use their bonuses...?
Really, I'm just jealous that he's dating his co-star. Thoughts?