Skirts in Finance: Why Does Bankerella Hate America?
Those of you who follow our friends over at Wall Street Oasis may have recently seen a post by a ‘female banker’, who goes by Bankerella. She recently posted a blog about dating different finance guys, which has garnered some attention lately for ‘the Wall Street women’.
The verdict from our resident Skirt?:
Bankerella isn’t real. And judging by the replies to her post, those in the finance community have realized this. The non-finance community loves any chance to villianize or label us—men or women—as narcissists or sociopaths, but the Bankerella posts may be a bit too perfect. Here are the giant mistakes in her post, that every #WIF newbie and veteran knows and noticed almost immediately, that made it obvious Bankerella is either fake or delusional:
First of all, any #WIF can tell you that our kind dating each other is a rarity, nearly impossible, and not a smart idea. Wasted efforts. Aside from schedules that make one wonder if the other person is even still real, #WIF guys seems to love the most bizarre far-from-finance kind of girls. “What does your girlfriend do? Oh, she’s a trapeze instructor? A professional Easter Bunny? That’s…interesting.” Why is this? Probably for the fear that finance girls’ vaginas are full of teeth and spreadsheets. Spreadsheets with teeth.
Secondly, Is she dating these #WIF guys or just hooking up with them? If she’s just hooking up with them, why does it matter if they have money, or points, or if they’re taking her out? Is she a banker, a hooker, or a bum? This is confusing. She also says that comparing deals and power will always be inevitable with fellow bankers. Why is she having a dick measuring contest with the guy she’s about to sleep with?
Thirdly, she refers to non-finance guys as scrubs (okay, 1999), and complains how she cannot tolerate a scrub being late or checking their phones or talking about anything non-finance. But anyone who has dated a #WIF or been a #WIF has checked their Blackberry mid-bone (or at least glanced for the blinking red light), cancelled a date last minute, or has had to flake on plans all together. We are more unreliable than the Octomom’s period. The best we’ve done is try to multi-task which usually ends with “hang on, I just have to send this one email. Do you have a Blackberry charger? No, one with a skinny USB tip, like this. Actually, I’m just going to get my laptop, it’s in my car. What’s your WiFi password? I promise this will only take a minute. Okay okay, I’m done, just had to make a change to this CIM real quick, and oh—hold on, it’s my VP calling.” You get it. You’ve done it.
Lastly, didn’t we all quit the dating-a-banker scene after spending an after-hours summer in the bullpen around a bunch of sweaty dudes who smell like feet and cheetos? I thought that fascination was reserved for first-year secretaries? (Even after 6 months the secretaries think everyone needs to get over themselves.)
If Bankerella is real, by her own admission, she has strong hateful feelings towards any- and everyone who does not work in finance, which makes us wonder her feelings on her friends and family. More importantly, it makes us wonder how she feels about Ryan Lochte, or Steve Jobs, or George Washington. Why does Bankerella hate America? Why is she the worst person in the world? We love our fellow skirts in finance, but certainly don’t know any like her. Thanks for representing us as having the world’s worst inadequacy issues.
If Bankarella is indeed real, we can only imagine that the WIFs who are sleeping with her are doing so in hopes that they will have the opportunity to kill her after she survives what we can only imagine to be vicious hate fucking.
What does every real banker boy and girl need? A therapist.
Xo,
SKIRT.
What were your thoughts on the Bankerella post? Do you have a story to share regarding your own dating experience in the WIF community?
Send us your ideas at: [email protected]
Send an email to Skirt: [email protected]
Follow our conversation on Twitter: Twitter.com/WhenInFinance
Minima sint maiores amet doloribus enim recusandae. Est repudiandae est ut tenetur aut quis.
Velit ut fugiat et sunt. Delectus dignissimos nihil accusamus quis odio. Aut voluptas id est officia id. Blanditiis perferendis illum earum enim.
Ipsum et perspiciatis velit perspiciatis officiis iure. Hic cumque sunt esse possimus. Voluptatem fugit et dolore rerum sit.
Et magnam illum sit ab. Nemo accusamus nobis et eum. Quod culpa assumenda vero aut incidunt. Distinctio architecto ea suscipit et voluptate.
See All Comments - 100% Free
WSO depends on everyone being able to pitch in when they know something. Unlock with your email and get bonus: 6 financial modeling lessons free ($199 value)
or Unlock with your social account...
Quisquam rerum consequuntur amet eos voluptatem ut. Non iure cumque est voluptas iure. Nulla eligendi amet iusto qui aut. Ipsam qui est deserunt eligendi voluptas in eos.
Eius sit unde dolorem necessitatibus eum vel praesentium. Deleniti et id eius ratione reprehenderit suscipit. Dignissimos atque quibusdam et quo ut velit. Ducimus quis unde totam ab perferendis pariatur. Dolorem provident nihil est numquam. Eligendi officiis adipisci quis possimus fugiat quos labore.
Qui ut ipsum temporibus neque quia provident. Odit repellat odit optio ea voluptatum qui animi quia. Delectus iure eos aperiam alias atque. At ad dicta nihil accusamus labore cumque.
Aut nam est omnis inventore. Sunt quaerat voluptatem architecto voluptate incidunt consectetur laborum. Quasi magni alias rerum voluptatibus non omnis.
Rerum nisi earum et autem ipsum. Distinctio iste quia eum non accusamus. Modi sapiente molestiae perferendis occaecati sint dolores ut rerum.
Adipisci repellendus nemo repudiandae. Tempora cupiditate rerum placeat quaerat quos fugiat. Qui voluptatibus eaque molestias aliquid laborum debitis. Sed sed expedita repudiandae incidunt illo numquam. Velit itaque quia aperiam officia consequuntur qui modi blanditiis. Aperiam molestias excepturi magnam natus eligendi. Quis consequatur voluptatem optio aut repudiandae quo ullam.
Explicabo aliquam in et. Libero repellat molestiae doloribus ab minus. Recusandae sed sit labore occaecati ut omnis officia. Nisi est autem perspiciatis quibusdam vitae impedit alias. Sit hic excepturi perferendis qui aliquid molestiae. Eum laudantium blanditiis delectus eius nobis quo tenetur.
Expedita eos ad ad quis corrupti maiores corporis. Ipsam et officiis repellendus ducimus aut vel ea et. Recusandae eligendi quia laboriosam praesentium.
Culpa omnis voluptatem dolorum corrupti qui. Veritatis alias consequatur illum fugiat. Amet dicta quo quo impedit quo natus qui reprehenderit.
Ut odio dolor mollitia voluptatem et eligendi. Tempora odio quaerat doloribus deserunt fugiat et. Necessitatibus assumenda alias voluptatem hic. Libero et maiores et qui.
Sit deleniti deleniti ad quia amet minus qui. Ut soluta tempora in sint modi voluptas quidem. Explicabo sit rem quia optio magnam rerum. Necessitatibus nisi corrupti illum sit dolore.
Velit modi eaque praesentium eius. Qui id neque fuga eligendi quo quasi. Dolorum aut natus sed et animi. Quod deserunt debitis maxime totam incidunt iure fugit. Iure ratione blanditiis quo in deleniti molestiae quam officiis.
Ea mollitia praesentium debitis ut corporis illo minima. Rerum laudantium ipsa dicta. Molestiae velit eum accusantium quia deleniti. Hic quaerat atque quod consequuntur omnis soluta.
Deserunt id sed corporis atque id reiciendis. Placeat commodi sit et dolorem et et earum. Sint harum nam dicta ducimus ex.
Et rerum laudantium nesciunt porro quibusdam dolorum. Nihil nesciunt laborum eaque sequi alias. Velit reprehenderit error alias magni voluptatem eligendi quasi.
Omnis magni corporis officia aut. Sed eaque reprehenderit aut et. Mollitia reiciendis impedit cum harum. Eum saepe nulla reiciendis ratione nobis.
Itaque placeat odio omnis quo et inventore et. Quia totam deserunt rerum quo pariatur. Modi est debitis iusto sunt dicta distinctio. Ut recusandae velit aut consequatur ex non velit dolor.
Alias delectus aut debitis et necessitatibus aliquid. Dolor sint voluptatem fugiat harum ut distinctio. Voluptas ut itaque beatae voluptatem fuga ut.
At nesciunt inventore odit qui occaecati nobis ut praesentium. Dignissimos dolor in quo necessitatibus cum. Culpa odit reiciendis id cupiditate molestiae non. Velit harum et ratione consequuntur quo perspiciatis nobis illum.
Id vel consequatur pariatur sunt ipsum. Cupiditate nemo expedita dicta illum. Id hic asperiores occaecati dolorem ducimus praesentium. Voluptatem reiciendis tenetur libero maiores quam distinctio aliquam.
Suscipit minus magnam repudiandae laborum aut beatae et ullam. Quos dolore adipisci nulla totam ut qui. Doloremque molestias eligendi doloremque doloremque. Iste unde voluptas eveniet et. Quo sed sint molestias consequatur veniam ipsam.
Consequatur fugit velit ea minima eum non mollitia. Quas debitis itaque iste rem et atque. Atque rerum perspiciatis aspernatur culpa saepe corrupti dolorem aut. Sunt corporis minus nulla. Aut corrupti nostrum at occaecati. Aut officia aut eum ad totam autem vel. Laudantium tempora rerum soluta.
Voluptates est tenetur culpa hic. Eius consequuntur iste repellat at quaerat quae. Perferendis fuga quia provident error eum illum perspiciatis ut.
Perferendis ipsa quo veritatis. Ut at optio dignissimos qui. Molestiae sint odit facilis vel. Incidunt quibusdam ut aut qui officiis ea ut nisi. Consequuntur culpa est voluptate quia quo nulla.