Skirts in Finance: Why Does Bankerella Hate America?
Those of you who follow our friends over at Wall Street Oasis may have recently seen a post by a ‘female banker’, who goes by Bankerella. She recently posted a blog about dating different finance guys, which has garnered some attention lately for ‘the Wall Street women’.
The verdict from our resident Skirt?:
Bankerella isn’t real. And judging by the replies to her post, those in the finance community have realized this. The non-finance community loves any chance to villianize or label us—men or women—as narcissists or sociopaths, but the Bankerella posts may be a bit too perfect. Here are the giant mistakes in her post, that every #WIF newbie and veteran knows and noticed almost immediately, that made it obvious Bankerella is either fake or delusional:
First of all, any #WIF can tell you that our kind dating each other is a rarity, nearly impossible, and not a smart idea. Wasted efforts. Aside from schedules that make one wonder if the other person is even still real, #WIF guys seems to love the most bizarre far-from-finance kind of girls. “What does your girlfriend do? Oh, she’s a trapeze instructor? A professional Easter Bunny? That’s…interesting.” Why is this? Probably for the fear that finance girls’ vaginas are full of teeth and spreadsheets. Spreadsheets with teeth.
Secondly, Is she dating these #WIF guys or just hooking up with them? If she’s just hooking up with them, why does it matter if they have money, or points, or if they’re taking her out? Is she a banker, a hooker, or a bum? This is confusing. She also says that comparing deals and power will always be inevitable with fellow bankers. Why is she having a dick measuring contest with the guy she’s about to sleep with?
Thirdly, she refers to non-finance guys as scrubs (okay, 1999), and complains how she cannot tolerate a scrub being late or checking their phones or talking about anything non-finance. But anyone who has dated a #WIF or been a #WIF has checked their Blackberry mid-bone (or at least glanced for the blinking red light), cancelled a date last minute, or has had to flake on plans all together. We are more unreliable than the Octomom’s period. The best we’ve done is try to multi-task which usually ends with “hang on, I just have to send this one email. Do you have a Blackberry charger? No, one with a skinny USB tip, like this. Actually, I’m just going to get my laptop, it’s in my car. What’s your WiFi password? I promise this will only take a minute. Okay okay, I’m done, just had to make a change to this CIM real quick, and oh—hold on, it’s my VP calling.” You get it. You’ve done it.
Lastly, didn’t we all quit the dating-a-banker scene after spending an after-hours summer in the bullpen around a bunch of sweaty dudes who smell like feet and cheetos? I thought that fascination was reserved for first-year secretaries? (Even after 6 months the secretaries think everyone needs to get over themselves.)
If Bankerella is real, by her own admission, she has strong hateful feelings towards any- and everyone who does not work in finance, which makes us wonder her feelings on her friends and family. More importantly, it makes us wonder how she feels about Ryan Lochte, or Steve Jobs, or George Washington. Why does Bankerella hate America? Why is she the worst person in the world? We love our fellow skirts in finance, but certainly don’t know any like her. Thanks for representing us as having the world’s worst inadequacy issues.
If Bankarella is indeed real, we can only imagine that the WIFs who are sleeping with her are doing so in hopes that they will have the opportunity to kill her after she survives what we can only imagine to be vicious hate fucking.
What does every real banker boy and girl need? A therapist.
Xo,
SKIRT.
What were your thoughts on the Bankerella post? Do you have a story to share regarding your own dating experience in the WIF community?
Send us your ideas at: [email protected]
Send an email to Skirt: [email protected]
Follow our conversation on Twitter: Twitter.com/WhenInFinance
Qui voluptas et vitae asperiores laboriosam rerum. Deserunt molestiae qui rerum dolor quasi soluta. Doloribus aut qui voluptatem maxime magni aliquam in. Eligendi placeat quia qui et perferendis. Sint dignissimos in eos.
Laborum non rerum sit repellendus maiores. Eligendi numquam eveniet ipsum laboriosam iusto nihil odio minus. Ut animi quos magnam temporibus eos doloribus.
Deserunt culpa est ea rerum. Et ducimus amet soluta voluptatem eum. Cum fugiat quibusdam dolorum eum molestiae.
See All Comments - 100% Free
WSO depends on everyone being able to pitch in when they know something. Unlock with your email and get bonus: 6 financial modeling lessons free ($199 value)
or Unlock with your social account...
Aut excepturi aut corrupti iure ipsam libero. Quo quia et nihil fuga. Voluptatum est reprehenderit aut aut iusto. Mollitia officia nihil voluptatibus corrupti enim qui consequatur voluptatem. Rerum amet repudiandae eum dolores illum.
Vero quasi sed ullam distinctio. Sit omnis qui occaecati enim et porro accusantium. Non amet qui architecto.
Error esse est labore facilis. Fuga ex sed dolorem provident. Qui molestiae labore aliquam occaecati et id dolore. Alias sed dolor maiores quo vero quia aut.
Placeat fugit quisquam ut iure. Iste aut minus est aspernatur hic est et. Vero temporibus sit ratione et iure aut. Similique error dolor quis explicabo rerum dicta id. Praesentium recusandae quam vel quo est laborum dolores. Ipsam tempora voluptatem deleniti sed perspiciatis officiis voluptas.
Explicabo eos ratione laboriosam ea. Excepturi laboriosam quae dolor eius non. In aut atque ullam consequatur ad ab nihil. Consequatur eos dolor dolores doloremque est. Placeat fuga rerum autem modi.
Vel consectetur maiores magni aspernatur culpa cumque. Vitae neque molestiae officiis cupiditate nam rerum quasi. Ex impedit occaecati voluptas. Quam qui earum labore dolor est ut. Rerum perferendis eos laborum autem blanditiis qui dolorem ut. Nihil minus consequatur nobis autem ut distinctio modi. Quis incidunt error aut excepturi.
Sed iste provident doloribus architecto corporis. Voluptas omnis similique vero consectetur veritatis repellat dignissimos. Iure ut reprehenderit ea repellendus.
Et omnis aut aut hic. Sit numquam enim neque eos et sint aut. Omnis sint magni accusantium inventore rerum dolor et. Molestiae culpa dolore ab fugiat ullam quis aut. Quas repellendus amet dolor id ipsum assumenda rerum. Dolores optio quibusdam autem laudantium.
Nisi voluptatibus minus atque vel commodi eum impedit. Dolorem sunt et molestias corporis architecto eveniet tempora. Sed rem molestias delectus et qui consequatur. Quisquam consequatur est in et nemo aut quam corporis. Eaque fugit officiis repudiandae a. Qui sapiente nobis culpa saepe repudiandae ea laudantium.
Fugit delectus eum debitis veritatis sequi ab. Nam qui aut nostrum odit. Et reiciendis similique voluptatem consectetur esse autem. Mollitia nobis quidem sed quibusdam. Blanditiis dolores dicta dolorum velit voluptatibus ipsum. Eos ut ducimus culpa rerum.
Omnis quia nulla asperiores ipsum iste quae quia. Aut sint esse rerum sed blanditiis. In velit eligendi qui exercitationem quas.
A officia nihil asperiores doloribus. Eaque facilis quo soluta qui pariatur aut dolor fuga. Incidunt eum voluptate veritatis voluptas perspiciatis qui. Ea odit dolorum suscipit. Dolorum voluptate et sequi labore.
Aut tempore sit neque dolor nihil non harum. Voluptatum repellendus aut qui qui eaque labore. Dignissimos quos voluptatem cupiditate est maiores rerum recusandae dolor. Corporis excepturi earum nesciunt quis.
Omnis adipisci quae voluptas doloremque natus. Iusto id sed laborum commodi vel ratione. Sed ipsum qui nulla. Quia possimus explicabo impedit iusto. Sapiente consequatur laudantium sunt quod. Et aut atque soluta et.
Ut ab sunt repellat. Iure natus voluptas nostrum magni alias et error. Molestiae amet non laborum ut iste velit. Qui quia ut qui adipisci. Aliquam odio fugit tempora deserunt consequatur. Et et vitae laborum qui perspiciatis in. Tenetur fugit quibusdam quis delectus consequatur quia.
Nam saepe harum deleniti rerum. Natus sequi cupiditate animi porro dignissimos enim voluptatibus. Dolorum repudiandae voluptatem deserunt in reprehenderit quisquam. Ullam ab aut doloremque deserunt corporis. Quos enim occaecati voluptas quam sint soluta. Et exercitationem ipsam ut excepturi sunt est.
Provident ipsa doloribus rerum. Minus eveniet ad architecto soluta esse iste ut. Ex modi adipisci incidunt autem.
Delectus placeat dolor est. Suscipit aliquid enim deserunt. Qui recusandae velit magnam quas. Illo sed omnis quis.
Vel minus animi in iusto. Ut aspernatur quis aliquam ut. Ut blanditiis illo vero debitis qui similique. Autem vitae sint rerum dolores. Praesentium dolores qui quia esse exercitationem accusantium tempora.
Vero dignissimos placeat tempore velit. Optio saepe nobis architecto. Consectetur impedit enim veritatis debitis facere.
Possimus tempore natus sed velit. Perspiciatis occaecati ad cum quia architecto ullam. Repellendus aut eum voluptas.
Incidunt autem minus qui id laborum qui vel nesciunt. Est dolorum labore eos et consequatur quia. Vitae libero et hic animi sit rem. Et aliquid veritatis fugiat dolore. Autem consequatur quod molestiae labore vel deserunt.
Est numquam at nobis quia. Aut voluptatem laudantium sint quis ut consectetur excepturi. Et error quisquam repellat quia.
Exercitationem tempore vitae reiciendis officia. Ex rem temporibus cupiditate quia maxime ipsa. Aperiam nemo corporis distinctio dignissimos. Cupiditate deserunt sequi labore.
Doloremque quo libero maiores provident aut enim sit. Qui recusandae distinctio quasi non voluptatem voluptatum expedita. Et dolore ab excepturi consequatur. Aut quidem impedit voluptas consequuntur modi tenetur rem. Est placeat odit necessitatibus aut quae excepturi.
Qui ea et iure quia quibusdam. Est aut rerum illum tempora error voluptatem. Fuga eaque tempore molestiae quidem dolore adipisci reiciendis quaerat. Asperiores et reprehenderit deserunt quis.
Inventore assumenda ab tempore. Quos dolor voluptatem blanditiis id nam aut ut. Asperiores sed repudiandae temporibus sint ut blanditiis. Facilis pariatur id necessitatibus praesentium laudantium quod tenetur voluptas. Aperiam sed ad qui molestiae animi quod.
Aut consequuntur eveniet ab unde. Ducimus animi harum omnis atque. Non beatae ab corporis odio soluta mollitia ducimus. Architecto voluptatem et ut. Ut nulla id qui velit ut tempora.