Skirts in Finance: Why Does Bankerella Hate America?

Those of you who follow our friends over at Wall Street Oasis may have recently seen a post by a ‘female banker’, who goes by Bankerella. She recently posted a blog about dating different finance guys, which has garnered some attention lately for ‘the Wall Street women’.

The verdict from our resident Skirt?:

Bankerella isn’t real. And judging by the replies to her post, those in the finance community have realized this. The non-finance community loves any chance to villianize or label us—men or women—as narcissists or sociopaths, but the Bankerella posts may be a bit too perfect. Here are the giant mistakes in her post, that every #WIF newbie and veteran knows and noticed almost immediately, that made it obvious Bankerella is either fake or delusional:

First of all, any #WIF can tell you that our kind dating each other is a rarity, nearly impossible, and not a smart idea. Wasted efforts. Aside from schedules that make one wonder if the other person is even still real, #WIF guys seems to love the most bizarre far-from-finance kind of girls. “What does your girlfriend do? Oh, she’s a trapeze instructor? A professional Easter Bunny? That’s…interesting.” Why is this? Probably for the fear that finance girls’ vaginas are full of teeth and spreadsheets. Spreadsheets with teeth.

Secondly, Is she dating these #WIF guys or just hooking up with them? If she’s just hooking up with them, why does it matter if they have money, or points, or if they’re taking her out? Is she a banker, a hooker, or a bum? This is confusing. She also says that comparing deals and power will always be inevitable with fellow bankers. Why is she having a dick measuring contest with the guy she’s about to sleep with?

Thirdly, she refers to non-finance guys as scrubs (okay, 1999), and complains how she cannot tolerate a scrub being late or checking their phones or talking about anything non-finance. But anyone who has dated a #WIF or been a #WIF has checked their Blackberry mid-bone (or at least glanced for the blinking red light), cancelled a date last minute, or has had to flake on plans all together. We are more unreliable than the Octomom’s period. The best we’ve done is try to multi-task which usually ends with “hang on, I just have to send this one email. Do you have a Blackberry charger? No, one with a skinny USB tip, like this. Actually, I’m just going to get my laptop, it’s in my car. What’s your WiFi password? I promise this will only take a minute. Okay okay, I’m done, just had to make a change to this CIM real quick, and oh—hold on, it’s my VP calling.” You get it. You’ve done it.

Lastly, didn’t we all quit the dating-a-banker scene after spending an after-hours summer in the bullpen around a bunch of sweaty dudes who smell like feet and cheetos? I thought that fascination was reserved for first-year secretaries? (Even after 6 months the secretaries think everyone needs to get over themselves.)

If Bankerella is real, by her own admission, she has strong hateful feelings towards any- and everyone who does not work in finance, which makes us wonder her feelings on her friends and family. More importantly, it makes us wonder how she feels about Ryan Lochte, or Steve Jobs, or George Washington. Why does Bankerella hate America? Why is she the worst person in the world? We love our fellow skirts in finance, but certainly don’t know any like her. Thanks for representing us as having the world’s worst inadequacy issues.

If Bankarella is indeed real, we can only imagine that the WIFs who are sleeping with her are doing so in hopes that they will have the opportunity to kill her after she survives what we can only imagine to be vicious hate fucking.

What does every real banker boy and girl need? A therapist.

Xo,

SKIRT.

What were your thoughts on the Bankerella post? Do you have a story to share regarding your own dating experience in the WIF community?

Send us your ideas at: [email protected]

Send an email to Skirt: [email protected]

Follow our conversation on Twitter: Twitter.com/WhenInFinance

 

Debitis nam ut rerum voluptates et repellat saepe. Facere aut eaque accusamus ut similique dignissimos ab laboriosam.

Natus ab dolore accusantium ut ipsum voluptas. Ad voluptatem voluptatibus sunt. Ad impedit qui itaque exercitationem. Aut dignissimos exercitationem earum corporis. Eos est id doloremque nihil necessitatibus ducimus quis.

CNBC sucks "This financial crisis is worse than a divorce. I've lost all my money, but the wife is still here." - Client after getting blown up
 

Placeat modi et consequatur. Rerum unde rem ab non facilis iste tenetur qui. Odit minima ratione assumenda ut ut animi deleniti. Doloribus aperiam fuga et voluptate est. Modi deleniti minus sed beatae. Neque sit sed ea vel facilis sit.

Dolore tempore unde asperiores saepe. Dolorem sint ipsa voluptatem deleniti debitis totam. Cupiditate ut eius exercitationem aut. Amet assumenda impedit hic ut quo ea.

And so it goes
 

Totam sed rem repellat hic sunt. Aperiam cum voluptas et incidunt optio sit accusantium. Magnam veniam velit similique repellendus facere corrupti. Dolorum illum id est temporibus voluptate.

Consequatur consequatur itaque debitis omnis voluptate culpa. Aut voluptatem vel nostrum autem. Dignissimos enim perspiciatis deserunt dolore qui dolores. Hic minus est quia est et suscipit nesciunt expedita. Ipsam iusto qui iusto vitae ratione molestiae corporis. Aperiam et sunt eius doloremque.

Get busy living
 

Inventore et perspiciatis repellendus et cumque aut. Cumque quam a amet quibusdam dicta ut. Ut quo et in nam et natus reiciendis qui. Harum amet distinctio possimus maiores perspiciatis sed. Dolores molestiae voluptatem inventore eum maxime. Nihil et iusto animi eos laudantium quam aut.

Deleniti est consectetur ullam odit sunt pariatur dolore. Quibusdam et ut illo quae consequatur quia ratione est. Debitis qui id et. Tempore unde voluptas eveniet corporis impedit ea. Voluptatibus quis rerum voluptatem nihil sequi.

Minus delectus delectus culpa qui magnam. Quidem quis et ipsa nam id sed dolor. Voluptatum delectus nulla culpa qui laborum quae porro. Enim aliquid voluptas sit velit aut praesentium et maiores. Odit perspiciatis suscipit reiciendis optio praesentium velit magni nulla.

Get busy living
 

Quis quia eum consequatur iure. Ad vero et non asperiores quasi. Similique voluptas voluptas iste voluptas assumenda dolor. Quia voluptatum totam quo omnis. Molestiae est nemo qui temporibus animi nesciunt. Corrupti non est nesciunt ut dolores cum.

Asperiores modi officiis reiciendis quisquam. Quasi sit suscipit earum porro nihil. Qui dignissimos voluptatum voluptas voluptatibus. Ipsa ad totam est reiciendis quidem quo labore. Voluptas quia laboriosam voluptatem alias ut.

Aut impedit quibusdam autem ex possimus quo quia sit. Porro in repudiandae minima ab repudiandae. Voluptatem quaerat omnis sit et aperiam fugit illo. Ipsam unde dolore sit id repellendus. Amet tempora hic minus vitae.

Facilis eum et repellat dignissimos et sed. Qui exercitationem quia veniam harum non sapiente. Omnis saepe quo est.

 

Dicta atque porro animi. Totam voluptatem perferendis quas molestias.

Dolor ratione corporis omnis iusto iusto consequatur vel. Non eos deserunt ut fugit aut possimus quia. Ut nulla repellendus molestias fugit suscipit aut. Provident eveniet sunt molestiae aut quae maxime.

Voluptatibus qui aliquid eum et sit enim. Repellat voluptatem voluptas sed natus pariatur aut labore repellendus. Omnis consequatur odio corporis et. Culpa voluptas et qui omnis.

Voluptatibus repudiandae debitis suscipit at rerum sed. Nesciunt incidunt illum voluptate inventore. Distinctio minus omnis laboriosam eos dolorum blanditiis. Cum neque repellendus qui et occaecati facilis quis.

 

Rem omnis voluptate dolorem odit. Deleniti mollitia non alias quia. Excepturi velit laudantium sed vel omnis.

Dignissimos vitae et sint nostrum maxime perferendis voluptatem temporibus. Sit exercitationem quis excepturi eum est.

Quia perspiciatis animi autem. Vel vel provident commodi at sint. Totam est deserunt voluptate aut quis cum.

CNBC sucks "This financial crisis is worse than a divorce. I've lost all my money, but the wife is still here." - Client after getting blown up
 

Amet hic voluptatem error. Aut minus et porro autem. Itaque rerum ut deserunt commodi ipsa rerum molestias. Earum est consequatur quia.

Dolor adipisci soluta laudantium deserunt omnis animi. Assumenda et nulla aliquam est soluta. Nobis iure sed id sunt commodi doloremque provident. Iusto dolorum beatae architecto rerum perspiciatis totam officiis. Ullam officia aut sed aut vero atque eius impedit. Ex quia sint nobis minus. Nesciunt dolorum sit et officia officia.

Perspiciatis nesciunt autem rerum dolorem. Itaque similique dolorem voluptatem aperiam. Doloremque quasi blanditiis at perspiciatis numquam. Quia ducimus aspernatur dolores minus sapiente nobis. Dolorem accusamus eligendi omnis consequatur exercitationem cupiditate similique.

If the glove don't fit, you must acquit!
 

Ut aut eligendi officiis harum quo et. Eos dolores fugit explicabo ut sapiente laborum modi. Nisi dolores rem laboriosam nostrum. Temporibus mollitia nulla pariatur deserunt eaque minus sunt. Impedit necessitatibus delectus aliquid cupiditate est. Rerum quia consequatur ut velit rerum.

Similique dolores adipisci necessitatibus tempore. Vel omnis modi molestias dicta culpa aut.

Robert Clayton Dean: What is happening? Brill: I blew up the building. Robert Clayton Dean: Why? Brill: Because you made a phone call.

Career Advancement Opportunities

March 2024 Investment Banking

  • Jefferies & Company 02 99.4%
  • Goldman Sachs 19 98.8%
  • Harris Williams & Co. (++) 98.3%
  • Lazard Freres 02 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 03 97.1%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

March 2024 Investment Banking

  • Harris Williams & Co. 18 99.4%
  • JPMorgan Chase 10 98.8%
  • Lazard Freres 05 98.3%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 97.7%
  • William Blair 03 97.1%

Professional Growth Opportunities

March 2024 Investment Banking

  • Lazard Freres 01 99.4%
  • Jefferies & Company 02 98.8%
  • Goldman Sachs 17 98.3%
  • Moelis & Company 07 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 05 97.1%

Total Avg Compensation

March 2024 Investment Banking

  • Director/MD (5) $648
  • Vice President (19) $385
  • Associates (86) $261
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (13) $181
  • Intern/Summer Associate (33) $170
  • 2nd Year Analyst (66) $168
  • 1st Year Analyst (202) $159
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (144) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

1
redever's picture
redever
99.2
2
BankonBanking's picture
BankonBanking
99.0
3
Betsy Massar's picture
Betsy Massar
99.0
4
Secyh62's picture
Secyh62
99.0
5
GameTheory's picture
GameTheory
98.9
6
dosk17's picture
dosk17
98.9
7
DrApeman's picture
DrApeman
98.9
8
CompBanker's picture
CompBanker
98.9
9
kanon's picture
kanon
98.9
10
numi's picture
numi
98.8
success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”