It's interesting how some people are able to rehab their image despite how badly they've screwed people. Life is full of second chances, I guess. Case in point: Jordan Belfort, The Wolf of Wall Street, is now tourning Austrailia teaching Regular Joes the Straight Line Method of sales and persuasion. You know, because what the world needs more of is high pressure boiler room guys like me.
What Belfort calls the Straight Line Method we used to call the 3-Call Close. And it was buy or die -- a sale was made on every phone call. Either you sold the prospect/client on your proposition, or he sold you on why he couldn't or wouldn't do it. So it was Buy - the guy bought from you - or it was Die - he never got a call from you again. The old saying went, "Some will. Some won't. NEXT!"
It's interesting to think about what a guy like Belfort (or me, for that matter) could teach a regular person about persuasion, however. When you think about it, pretty much every step in human relations is a sale in one way or another: you're trying to get some chick to date you, get some firm to hire you, get your wife to quit nagging you about inconsequential shit. So being good at the art of persuasion definitely comes in handy.
I remember sitting in a real estate seminar with my wife one time when the subject of NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) came up. It was just a brief overview of the subject but the speaker gave a few examples which made me very uncomfortable. Because my wife was sitting next to me glaring at me until she said, "You do this shit to me all the time." What can I say? Getting my way is a lot easier when she thinks it was her idea all along.
Anyway, Belfort had some pretty decent advice when it comes to the everyday interactions we all face.
On asking for a raise:
"Number one is the value of the product, which is you, and both the job you're doing now and what you can do for the company over the long term," Mr Belfort said.
On getting hired:
"Saying 'I really want a job here' would be the lowest level of persuasion," Mr Belfort said. "Versus 'Let me tell you what I can add here in value and how I see myself fitting in'."
On matching and mirroring to build rapport:
"If somebody's talking to you and it's a logical thing they're talking about, like about their business, you're leaning back and listening intently.
"And when it's emotional, about the struggles they're facing or if their family comes up, you lean forward and [nod to show you understand]."
You should also match the general posture and pace at which the other person is talking.
"So if someone is unenthusiastic and seems disconnected to your message you don't keep talking at them in a tone that is overly positive and enthusiastic - you match their tone and build up to a level where you sound enthusiastic again," he said.
Some of you may consider techniques like these to be manipulative, and that's fine. For me, that's always been where personal ethics take the stage. If I convince someone to do something (like hire me) that is clearly in their best interest, does it really matter how I convinced them? Obviously it's a matter of debate, but I sleep well at night.
I'm interested to hear what you guys think. Is it a good idea to teach the general public sales techniques which are easily abused? And has the time of high-pressure sales passed? We used to say that pressure led to one of two outcomes: it either made diamonds or it burst pipes. In a perverse way, both were favorable outcomes (because the guy either did what you wanted or you never had to deal with him again).
Obviously I prefer a more relationship-based sale these days, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't fall back on the other stuff every now and then. Does that make me a bad guy?
I would like to argue that is unethical to not help see what is in their best interest.
I think now, the age of the internet, The high pressure sale is going to die out. With everyone seeing frauds pop up everywhere and what is posted in the media, if someone is trying to sell me something, and I have never heard of you, or your product, there is nothing at all that you could say to me that would make me give you money by the time the phone call is over. After the phone call is over, i'll research everything you just talked to me about, and then I'll give you a call back if it's ACTUALLY in my best interest, not what someone on the phone thinks is my best interest.
The only objection I have to this stuff is that dealing with people who are pushing their agenda at all times can be frustrating and disingenuous, leading them to be held at arm's length. I've noticed a HUGE difference in conversations in NYC metro area vs my hometown: in NY, everyone is trying to get something from everyone else at all times. In my hometown, a very large amount of socializing is done for its own sake and the relationships are much more organic, they develop on their own terms. Contrast this with the standardized introductions via internet and coffee. Back home I can strike up a conversation taking out trash and walk away with dinner plans, in NY it's possible but there's a heavier emphasis on formalities, especially when it comes to work.
Obviously, there's an upside to being persuasive, you pretty much covered it. I was very introverted by nature as a kid and forced myself to do sales jobs to become more social...bartending also helped. The upside to more laid back interactions/socializing is that my network from back home doesn't even see themselves as a "network", the relationships are very genuine and multidimensional, and the figurative "two way street" between I and those contacts has a lot more traffic.
Is it good or bad to be persuasive? It's just what it is. Some folks are far more aggressive by nature, and being persuasive helps them keep an even keel. Others seem more likely to go with the flow. Personally, I'm somewhere between those two polarities and keep a well rounded approach.
That's what people have been saying for a long time. Take business software sales at tech companies as an example. Rather than diminish, sales has morphed into "consulting."
+1. I work in sales at an enterprise tech company and we engage in "consultative sales."
Yes, all relevant skills however despite what Mr. Belfort might want people to believe he still is garbage... you can't teach an old dog new tricks.. especially when they are made like that :)
Teaching the general public about sales/persuasion techniques is fine. Most people cannot persuade or sell effectively, so if some clown attends a conference and uses one of these techniques on me the BS will be all to easy to spot. It'll add great humor, too.
I think the greatest skill you could teach a person is to have a strong personal / psychological boundary. That way, it doesn't matter what tricks any sales pitch uses.
With the few 'tricks' highlighted above, I think there has to be realisation that they are not immediate 'game winners'. When I studied for a real estate certificate in high school, they had a section on this topic. They didn't use NLP as the title; however, instead dressed it as 'tips to help build rapport quickly'.
That's what they are - quick tips to help establish rapport and comfort which can help in persuasion and a sale etc. They aren't tools that allow you to completely manipulate someone into doing whatever you want them to do. A person with half a brain, isn't going to suddenly agree to sign away their soul just because you are leaning forward and nodding at the correct tempo when listening to their woes. Ultimately it still comes down to your value proposition; these tips just help lower the defenses a little quicker.
For that reason, I do not see these tips as unethical. Social engineering on the other hand I believe to be a much more questionable practice.
"Hey Mr. Client, a senior partner here asked me to give you a call to let you in on a little secret. Let me get under the desk so nobody else can hear me.
(fumbles around and then speaks in hushed tones)
Our market strategist just decreased his weight to REITs in his model portfolio from 3% to 2%. What have you done to prepare your family's financial future with your allocation to REITs?"
REIT allocations are... blowing up right now. The whole firm's going nuts. Hold on, let me open up the door to my office.
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