Tiger Woods: Too Big to Fail?

This post doesn't exactly count as Wall Street news, per se, but I do think Tiger Woods counts as a toxic asset right now and may qualify for TARP money.

According to Clusterstock, marketers who've been promoting themselves with the superstar's image have pulled all prime-time ads involving El Tigre.

What's more, Gatorade is likely going to discontinue its "Tiger Focus" product line. However, Gatorade is not pulling their sponsorship, unilaterally. And apparently said that their move "had nothing to do with recent events." Wow, you could cut the lies with a butter knife.

Not to mention, Tiger's extramarital Harpy-Alert is now at 11. So, it seems likely that Tiger has slept with more cocktail waitresses and porn stars than the average IBer. I don't mean to be encouraging schadenfreude here, as Tiger will soon be going into his own Great Depression, but I think it begs the question, as a sponsor and investor, what would you do? Would you disassociate from Tiger? Will more bankers be playing golf? Is that even possible?

Also, Wikipedia just informed me that Tiger is apparently a Buddhist. I'm speechless.

Comments (24)

Dec 9, 2009

Umm seriously wtf is all the hype about tiger woods? I've seen him on every fucking newspaper for the past week. Big deal, the guy crashed into a tree and had affairs. Honestly I'd rather hear more about Chris Crocker than Tiger Woods.

Feb 4, 2010

Yeah I hear you man, I get sick all this crap about Tiger Woods, who gives a crap anyway, I mean let the guy play golf and leave the private life out of it.

Kurt Wills

Provillus
Internet Marketing Secrets

Dec 9, 2009

I heard that Trojan is basically tripping over their pants to sign him on.

Chris Crocker...that crazy mofo makes me shudder.

Dec 9, 2009

I also don't get what the fuss is all about. He had an affair - so what? As long as his golf doesn't suffer then what's the big deal.

Dec 9, 2009

He had 10 affairs

Dec 9, 2009

I've disliked him ever since he started making fun of hockey.

Dec 9, 2009

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus?

Santa only has three Ho's

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We are excited to formally extend to you an offer to join Bank of Ameria

Dec 10, 2009

Why settle down? If you have that much money and gallery girls want to get in your pants, don't settle down. Obviously, when you retire from golf and the girls you're still gonna find one girl who wants to marry you. Just wait. It makes no sense to marry before you think you've had your fill. Plus, whats with everybody(the media) victimizing the wife? Dude just cheated. He didn't kill her or give her a crazy STD(we hope).

Its probably prudent to cut sponsorship if you have a large consumer base. However, I'm sure some spin doctor is gonna come out and try to "reposition" this. New Gatorade focus flavor: Hoberry
Introducing the New Gillette Fusion STROKE.

PE is the new black.

Dec 10, 2009

Does anyone else think it would be utterly awesome if Tiger embraced his bad guy status? Imagine how epic it would be to have a heel in golf. He could continue to demolish all of his competition and taunt them and laugh along the way.

I think a heel Tiger Woods could be bigger than the good boy Tiger we knew for so many years.

Dec 10, 2009
TheKing:

Does anyone else think it would be utterly awesome if Tiger embraced his bad guy status?

I had this very conversation with my wife and her friend last night (of course, they disagreed).

I made the argument that Tiger should book time on Oprah or Barbara Walters or some other big show and just come out and say "Fuck All Y'all. I'm the greatest golfer that ever lived, and will be for the next decade at least. Elin, here's your $300 mil. Now hit the bricks. You were a great gal - it'll probably take me most of the day to replace you."

And then just go back to owning the golf course and banging random Hooters girls. Let's face it - he's better than everyone else and deserves to live the dream. His wife should just take the money and shut the fuck up. Why he's negotiating to make her stay is beyond me.

Dec 10, 2009
Edmundo Braverman:
TheKing:

Does anyone else think it would be utterly awesome if Tiger embraced his bad guy status?

I had this very conversation with my wife and her friend last night (of course, they disagreed).

I made the argument that Tiger should book time on Oprah or Barbara Walters or some other big show and just come out and say "Fuck All Y'all. I'm the greatest golfer that ever lived, and will be for the next decade at least. Elin, here's your $300 mil. Now hit the bricks. You were a great gal - it'll probably take me most of the day to replace you."

And then just go back to owning the golf course and banging random Hooters girls. Let's face it - he's better than everyone else and deserves to live the dream. His wife should just take the money and shut the fuck up. Why he's negotiating to make her stay is beyond me.

A total embrace of his status. He could be the ultimate bad guy. And ya know what? It'd end up winning him a whole new legion of fans. He could be the Keyser Soze of golf, destroying the competition, being a total badass, sleeping with whoever, doing whatever he wants, and people would end up loving him for it.

For all those that watched the WWF back in the day, it'd be kind of Stone Cold Steve Austin. He wasn't some "oh golly" good guy, he was a badass who did things no traditional hero would do, but the fans loved him for it. Tiger's got more money than God and is the best in the world at what he does...if anyone could do this, he could.

Dec 10, 2009

TheKing, It would be cool but I disagree. Look at Jordan vs. Rodman. Granted Jordan was arguably the best player of all time and changed the game but even still, the clean cut mass market appeal of the good guy outweighs that of the fing dbag. Only a small sub-set of the population roots for the d-bag.

There is something special about guys like Roger Fed and the old Tiger Woods...these are guys who dominate their sport and do it with class in an age full of juice, murder, beating up strippers and making it rain, etc.

Im no longer a Tiger Woods fan

Dec 10, 2009
junkbondswap:

Only a small sub-set of the population roots for the d-bag.

Clearly you're unfamiliar with the NBA All Star game...

Dec 10, 2009
junkbondswap:

these are guys who dominate their sport and do it with class in an age full of juice, murder, beating up strippers and making it rain, etc.

Jordan did all those things, we just didn't know about it.

Dec 10, 2009
junkbondswap:

There is something special about guys like Roger Fed and the old Tiger Woods...these are guys who dominate their sport and do it with class in an age full of juice, murder, beating up strippers and making it rain, etc.

Im no longer a Tiger Woods fan

Heh that's pretty funny cause i've read a bunch of stuff on jordan with everyone saying that hes a huge huge dbag, definitely does coke etc.

So whats the difference? both athletes do the same thing, one happens to get spotlighted in the papers for it though so you don't like him anymore? seems like you just love to eat up those entertainment magazines.

Dec 10, 2009

If you want to truly love an athlete who is clean and plays the game the way it's meant to be played AND is a class act on and off the field...then look no further than Derek Jeter.

Jeter = Greatness

Dec 10, 2009

Jeter is the man although from what I hear his antics off the field are just as awesome as Tigers', the only difference being that he isnt married with two kids. At least Jordan had the decency/intelligence to protect his family and his legacy.

You're comparing fictional characters (Keyser Soze and Stone Cold) both of whom are again only known and loved by a small sub-set of the population to the most recognizable athlete in the world. Guy has no integrity; cant support that.

Ill admit, if Tiger got Thug Life tatted on his stomach and acted like 2PAC,Iverson,TO i might be a fan (but then again I just may be part of the sub-set)

Dec 10, 2009

With a name like TIGER and WOODS (both of which have incredible sexual connotations attached), how is it possible not to be a lady's man?

Add to that the fact hes one of the most recognizable athletes in the world, amazingly rich, and super fit (hence, can most likely go for hours), I am completely shocked that it just became known to people hes been swimming in massive amounts of money and poon.

I think eventually, his name will even be added to our generation's pop culture: "He pulled a Tiger". This man will go down in history for many, many things.

Not saying I agree with what he did though, him being married and all. But I'll definitely watch his next TV appearance. I think he is way oversold right now; I'd double-long if I could.

Dec 11, 2009

Hes a falling knife, guy probably has more bastard kids than ODB and im sure they will be showing up to his doorstep for the holidays, id go long in late Q2 when things blow over

Dec 12, 2009
Dec 16, 2009

I think different people have different perception that is why they express it in this way.
Shoes

Dec 16, 2009
Comment
Jan 20, 2010

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