How many basis points would you pay to for a CDS on HIV/AIDS? Imagine that basis point premium. This may sound like a ridiculous but in light of recent news concerning the DSK fiasco this is clearly the sort of tail risk your local BSD would love to hedge. Seriously, is there anything on earth as scary as getting HIV or AIDS for a man in power? After all, the implicit deal many young financiers sign up for but often try to downplay is that one day women will flock to their feet and wallets. As a financial player at the highest levels you will have access to an after hours lifestyle most men only dream about, as long as you can keep it on the hush. The realistic possibility of contracting a sexually transmitted disease that will kill you is something most power players never, ever want to think or talk about. Yet here he is…

For douchebag du jour Dominique Strauss-Kahn, however, this hypothetical has become a very scary reality. At a time when people worldwide are clamoring for the heads of bankers on plates, we may yet have a chance to see one of the world’s most powerful financiers, literally become somebody’s bitch.

Proper fucked, Turkish? are the words that come to mind…for any fan of Snatch and the infamous exchange I am quoting, little explanation in necessary. The saga of Dominique Strauss-Kahn, however, continues to get more bizzarre and disgusting by the minute. It is one of the few times in my life I find myself at a loss for vulgar descriptions and potty talk, not because I cannot find them but because even my filthiest description cannot do reality justice.

I guess when you spend the better part of your day having the poor countries of the world in a face-down/ass-up position, you cease to recognize the value of the word no. This is particularly comical now that DSK finds himself a guest of the protective custody wing in New York City’s famed Rikers Island prison facility. On his daily menu is a diet of laceless shoes, suicide counseling and breath examination. (just to make sure his lungs are still going through the motions) The best part is that ol’ DSK seems to have decided to dip the global government pen into some polluted third world waters. The following quote may come to us from a less than reputable source, but if it is indeed true it is the ultimate punchline in a joke gone terribly wrong for global elites certain of being able to live above the rules.

The hotel maid, a West African immigrant, has occupied the fourth-floor High Bridge pad with her 15-year-old daughter since January -- and before that, lived in another Bronx apartment set aside by Harlem Community AIDS United strictly for adults with the virus and their families.

The added bonus for DSK is that tenants of such residences cannot qualify for residence unless they themselves are afflicted with HIV or AIDS. Medical confidentiality laws prevent further media elaboration on the victim’s medical history, but if true…the penalty for DSK would be slow and certainly righteous.

The IMF at a Glance…I can see your underpants

The International Monetary Fund is the best friend of the global banking establishment. Depending on your point of view, your political leanings, greed, lust for money, power and self delusion you may see it as either the mechanism which high finance uses for spreading its global influence or merely a bureaucratic structure which inhibits markets from properly functioning. Regardless of our own opinions, one thing is very clear and undeniable. The IMF represents the monetary power in this world. In this regard, you can think of it as the Federal Reserve, for the entire planet. It is quite the polarizing organization and very few are its fans. This is precisely why its agents much remain low key in their private affairs. Raping hotel maids is a bit beyond the aforementioned parameters.

Though prison bathroom rape humor is certainly not Wall Street acceptable in most cases, this is a really good time to use it. HIV/AIDS are no laughing matter, but most leather loafer and bespoke suit types would gladly wait for a cure rather than deal with the everlasting trauma of a jailhouse rape scene…I for one do not get any pleasure in seeing people suffer. That said, if DSK were to become the pin-up He-Bitch of the Month in Maximum Security Prison Quarterly for 2011…I wouldn’t shed a tear, other than that of laughter at imagining him pranced around C-wing in a bridal gown on the arm of a lifer named D’Abacus. This idiot should be a reminder to all of you guys to think about what you do when dealing with people who are beneath you. in society. One of the prime definitions of a civil society is respect for all its citizenry regardless of station in life. You don not have the right to fuck people over (literally or figuratively) simply because you can get away with it.

Much of the world views the IMF as a rapist, a conquistador, a colonizer and a slave master. Whether they are right or wrong in this regard, is certainly a study which will remain inconclusive and tied to opinion more so than to fact. That said, Dominique Strauss-Kahn’s violation of a poor, weak, possibly terminally diseased woman is symbolic of every last thing populists worldwide have been clamoring about in slamming the banking cartels of our time. It is often very easy to sit in the U.S. and willingly ignore the magnitude of events which go on outside of our borders. Once in a very blue moon, however, something happens within American borders which shakes up the world. 9/11 was such an event.

Disbelieve me if you will, but for much of the globe… DSK is such an event. Since this post has grown way too long, I am chopping it in half here. Tune back in to me tomorrow for the conclusion of unintended this mini series, as I will be outlining the winners and losers coming out of this freak show.