The 25 people you should avoid on Wall Street
A few years ago, CNBC’s Ash Bennington compiled a fantastic list of the people you should avoid on Wall Street. Recently, the Wall Street Journal’s John Carney issued a Twitter challenge for an updated version of this list.
In an industry where people often take themselves too seriously, or even define their own existence by their job title, it’s easy to dismiss this challenge with a flippant, “Just avoid everyone on Wall Street.” Fair enough, and that’s why I’d rather get a Sriracha enema from Guy Fieri than be seen at the Hunt & Fish Club. But nonetheless, I’ve managed to restrict my list to just the Top 25 in this year’s version of people to avoid on Wall Street:
- Avoid the guy who bitches about affirmative action. Odds are he’s benefited from nepotism more times than he cares to admit.
- Avoid the guy who acts like his parents’ place in Nantucket is really his beach house.
- Avoid the guy who name-drops college. A good education is a prerequisite for a job on Wall Street, and as Carney says, “A guy who drops the H Bomb clearly thinks his biggest accomplishments are behind him.”
- In New York, avoid the guy with the pocket square and greasy hair.
- In London, avoid the guy with the pinky ring and floppy hair.
- Avoid the serial connector on LinkedIn, a.k.a. eHarmony for the underemployed.
- Avoid the guy who has MBA and CFA printed on his business cards.
- Avoid the girl that tries too hard to fit in – swearing unnaturally, and even dropping the c-bomb.
- Avoid the back office guys who refer to themselves as investment bankers, or the repo guys who call themselves traders.
- Avoid fat people. It's not fair, but they don’t get promoted on Wall Street.
- Avoid the guy who tells you what Wall Street was like in the 1980s. He should be on a beach in Barbados by now.
- Avoid the guy who roots for Duke and didn’t go there. (Notre Dame if you’re a broker or in wealth management.)
- Avoid the convenient feminists - the girls who use cleavage and short skirts to get ahead, and then when things don’t go their way, start bitching to HR about sexism.
- Avoid the "When I was at Goldman Sachs…" guy. He’s not there anymore.
- Avoid the bucket shop bankers turned CNBC pundits. They’ll drink on your dime and parrot your ideas.
- Avoid the guy who jumped around to a different bank every two years. His Patek Philippe (paid for by a bull market BNP Paribas guarantee) doesn’t make him a hitter.
- Avoid the guys who mime golf swings in the office. They never break 100 on the course, and always say things like, “Big dog’s gotta eat” after every half-decent drive.
- Avoid the guy who uses his business card to impress women in bars. (Side note: Avoid women who are easily impressed by, “Don’t worry ladies, these drinks are on Morgan Stanley.”)
Originally posted on Business Insider , see the rest of the list: http://www.businessinsider.com/25-people-to-avoid-on-wall-street-2015-2
Whomever down-voted this must be very bitter about being short
This is so true - short guys (and girls) are unbelievably scheming
Number 17. Who seriously thinks it's cool to pretend to swing a golf club? No other hobbies have people that do this. My father-in-law is a serious boater. We would have him committed if he stood around pretending to drive a boat. I like to read. If I pretended to flip pages of the non-existent book in my hands, I would assume people would desperately try to avoid conversing with me.
granted i work from home, but i'll practice my baseball swing in my "office" sometimes.
i almost jacked one this past saturday so maybe it's helping a little bit?
https://www.facebook.com/shankeesbaseballorganization
Why wouldn't you have CFA on your business card if you have the designation? That's retarded
i think it's more of a reference to the guys who write "Joe Smith, MBA". Or even better, the all-stars who write "Joe Smith, MBA, CFA, CAIA, CMT, ABC, 123".
http://www.wsj.com/articles/SB10001424052748703927504575540582361440848
Number 1 is also key, because whether or not the guy has a point about affirmative action, "alleged racist" is not something you want to be associated with.
'Avoid the quant from third world countries is ridiculous.'
If you're a good quant or HFT programmer, you make way more than the average 'bro' in PWM.
CFA is fine.
Putting you're an MBA on your linkedin/business card is tacky. In fact, I'd stay away from most young MBAs with barely any work experience.
.CFA is fine. Putting you're an MBA on your linkedin/business card is tacky. In fact, I'd stay away from most young MBAs with barely any work experience.
so how are they supposed to get work experience if everyone avoids them?
Avoid the guy's that write in lists. We're financiers, not hipsters.
A few months ago I remember someone posting that folks this day and age can't read anything unless if it's in list format.
This has to be the dumbest list I've ever seen.
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Great list. I realize this list should be taken with a grain of salt, but is a 40 year old Director really that old?
As far as CFA, that is fine. MBA on a business card is just strange.
Definitely agree on the guys that talk about cheating on their wives: at best they're just tacky, more likely they can't be trusted with anything.
A lot of you guys clearly need to chill. Daily golf swing sessions should be a staple of any trading floor.
i do half of these
so just avoid everyone on wall street ?
"In New York, avoid the guy with the pocket square and greasy hair."
That is like every single guy these days.
Do BO people really say they are investment bankers? I'm MO, and although I say I work in an Investment Bank (Brokerage firm to be exact), I still make it perfectly clear that I'm not a FORainMaker.
I work with people who are in ops analysts within IB, but their Linkedin profile that they are "Investment Banking Analysts." It's sad..
I don't know how you can spin that when asked haha. I feel like my job currently relates to Business Analyst more so than a FO position.
Someone at my firm who used to calculate how many shares to buy for the individual accounts and then communicate that amount to an actual trader used to refer to themselves as a trader.
Get a job before going to an MBA. Internships. Lots of ways. I'm concerned of people who go straight from undergrad to MBA. Tells me they couldn't find a job after their undergrad.
So many cliches so little time
"Avoid getting advice from a guy who doesn't have the same success that you want to achieve."
Who the f is "CNBC"'s Ash Bennington?
7
Joe Blow, CFA = ok Joe Blow, MBA = no
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