How To Comfort Women Emotionally
I’d like to learn how to do emotions better. My wife is a very emotional person and I’m not. She just started a job as a special ed teacher and finds it very stressful (underfunded school in the ghetto, contract, not the long-term goal, long story). She does a lot of crying and being stressed in general. She’s emotional about everything though, good and bad. She’ll cry because of some shit she saw on the internet. It’s absurd.
I’m not emotionally retarded or anything. I understand why people feel how they do in different situations. It just takes great extremes for me to feel much of any emotion. I don’t really find anything that isn’t threatening to life/limb/etc to be a very serious matter. I don’t have any close friends, like alone time a lot, etc. My stoicism has been immensely beneficial elsewhere in life, but it’s not working ideally here. I’d like to learn to be more comforting. I do what I can, but it’s just very strange to me to listen to someone talk about their issues without asking for advice, which is what women like to do apparently.
She knows this about me and I know she represses a lot of her emotional expression because she knows it irritates me. She says she understands that’s just not who I am and she’s OK with it and blah blah. But I know that’s not sustainable. I’d rather learn how to deal with it now than walk in on her with some dude who understands feelings better in 5 years.
So, I’m all ears. Please give me your advice on comforting women emotionally. And yes, we both realize we got married way too young and soon (24 & 22). No kids so whatever. I give this marriage like a 35% chance of success, but I’m going to give it a valiant effort.
Sounds like she's looking for an excuse to argue. There may be something else that's bothering (or interesting) her. But to answer your question directly, I would just approach the topics logically. Ask why she's in distress, try to present potential solutions and let her know that you're there to discuss it.
Enjoy being married. I give it a year before you're debating the merits of different rope to hang yourself with.
Empathy is only relevant towards mature emotions. Sounds like you need a lesson on coddling. Buy a book on dealing with infants that stress cry or sob when they are startled. And a bottle of whiskey.
Guarantee she wants you to just reinforce what she's saying (i.e. if she's bitching that the principal isn't supporting her and is leaving her on an island you could say "wow babe, that really does sound stressful, it sucks that you have to do "x" when the principal should be helping with that"). Honestly, if you know your wife has a favorite food or likes to see plays or something just take some time out of your day and go see one with her or make her some cookies or something. Most of the time (just like guys) women just want to see some type of effort being made, especially if she already knows you're not the best emotionally.
General advice to any guy in a relationship.
http://www.5lovelanguages.com/
Sounds kinda corny but find her (or his, NTTIAWWT) love language and feed it. Good things will follow.
PMed.
just the title of this post is uncomforting lol
best of luck goldie
I contemplated several options and whether to go with misleading, troubling, funny, or technically accurate.
btw this is all the advice you'll ever need on how to treat your lovely woman, just be Clarence Carter, simple
Leave her to cry in the corner. If it it works for children it sure as fuck better work for grown ass adults.
This is spot on advice, but will be ballyhooed by the kids on this forum.
Appropriate reasons to cry
Death Car accident House burning down Something rediclously Happy happens
Appropriate reasons not to cry
Tough day at work Commercials Looking fat in jeans Not getting your way
Shits emotional control and feeding into it reinforces the behavior. My fucking 8 year old niece doesn't pull this shit.
Adding to the list:
Appropriate reasons to cry: Beginning of UP Ending of Shawshank Redemption Realization that entropy is irreversible and the heat death of the universe is inevitable
Appropriate reasons not to cry: Starbucks put too much ice when you specified "light ice" Conservative government in a foreign country got elected Kim Kardashian [anything]
http://www.getyarn.io/yarn-clip/8f2c7edd-9287-4650-a005-a6b56be6f4fc
OP, I think you spelled the word 'sexually' wrong.
I know you have heard it before, but pick your fights very wisely. Also, you have to reiterate what she says. Offer up a solution when you think you have one, but don't be amazed if she has multitude of reasons as to why it won't work. Doing this will show you are concerned and trying to help.
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