Please critique my cold email
Hi guys,
I'm a freshman at a non-target currently interning at PWM. However, it is extremely unfulfilling as all I do is cold call so now I am trying to obtain a new internship for this summer. I'm targeting investment banking boutiques and hedge funds. Below is what I include in my email.
Hello Mr/ Mrs. ...
I hope all is well.
My name is (name) and I am currently a first year student at (non target) studying finance. I am seeking an Investment Banking internship for this summer and would like to speak to you about any opportunities (insert boutique) may have. Do you have time for a quick call this week?
For more context on my background, I have attached my resume below.
Thank you for your time and I hope to speak to you soon.
I try to get straight to the point when sending my emails because they probably know I want something. Would appreciate any constructive criticism.
Thanks!
Add a sentence about how you received their contact info and some kind of personal touch for why they may be especially helpful (i.e. alumni, also from a non-target, also came from PWM etc.). If you can find any kind of similarities/connections people are much more responsive. I would also give them more than a week to have a call. Best of luck.
I thought about doing that, but didn't want the email to be too lengthy. I'll give it a shot and see if responses are any different. Thank you for the advice!
Mr./Mrs. is overly formal - go ahead and use the person's first name in the email (regardless of seniority). I would also recommend asking for their availability "in the next week or two" instead of requesting a call "this week." While I think your directness is generally a good thing, I would soften it a bit by saying that you're interested in speaking about their experience as well as any potential internship opportunities at their firm.
Yeah I agree with your points, I'll make the needed changes and give it a shot. Thank you for the advice!
Just to follow up, I have been subjecting these emails as "Internship Opportunities." Do you think I should keep this or change it to something less direct?
I usually prefer something like "[School Name] Student Reaching Out" or "[School Name] Student Seeking Career Advice."
Please don't start an email with "M name is..." They know your name via your signature. You can start by saying your are a first yr student at X and was given your name by... or however you got their name.
Thanks for pointing that out. Much appreciated!
Might suggest one sentence on why you're interested in IB.
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