How Do You Relax?

I've been struggling with properly relaxing on my time off. I constantly think of my work and my other projects on the weekend and when I come home from work. My current activities I do to try to unwind are: lift weights, yoga and reading.

I know that many of you have more strenuous jobs/hours than I do, so my question is what do you do to manage your stress and relax?

 

Geez. Just picture yourself on the boat in the river.

 
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"I love a broad margin to my life. Sometimes, in a summer morning, having taken my accustomed bath, I sit in my sunny doorway from sunrise till noon, rapt in a revery, amidst the pines and hickories and sumachs, in undisturbed solitude and stillness, while the birds sing around or flitted noiseless through the house, until by the sun falling in at my west window, or the noise of some traveller's wagon on the distant highway, I was reminded of the lapse of time. I grew in those seasons like corn in the night, and they were far better than any work of the hands would have been. They were not time subtracted from my life, but so much over and above my usual allowance. I realized what the Orientals mean by contemplation and the forsaking of works. For the most part, I minded not how the hours went. The day advanced as if to light some work of mine; it was morning, and lo, now it is evening, and nothing memorable is accomplished. Instead of singing like the birds, I silently smiled at my incessant good fortune. As the sparrow had its trill, sitting on the hickory before my door, so had I my chuckle or suppressed warble which he might hear out of my nest. My days were not days of the week, bearing the stamp of any heathen deity, nor were they minced into hours and fretted by the ticking of a clock; for I lived like the Puri Indians, of whom it is said that "for yesterday, today, and tomorrow they have only one word, and they express the variety of meaning by pointing backward for yesterday forward for tomorrow, and overhead for the passing day." -Henry David Thoreau

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

Exercise, reading, podcasts, video games, food, booze, time with my significant other, time with friends, time with family, etc. 
 

If you can’t unwind after work, you need some hobbies. 

Commercial Real Estate Developer
 

Usually go mountain biking for a couple of hours after work, playing tennis, hiking/walking my dog, camping, chilling at the beach, photography/editing pictures on lightroom, reading, playing guitar (need to do that more often), watching youtube channels. I find it odd that most people don't have hobbies outside of watching sports and getting drunk, there are literally endless amounts of things you can get into.

 

I like connecting with my friends, cooking some good food recipes, watching tv (jeopardy and wheel of fortune) and exercising. I have been trying to make a new food dish every week or other week or specifically work out on pullups or running the mile.

"It's okay, I'll see you on the other side"
 

Less booze and caffeine has done a tremendous amount to allow me to "wind down" easier when I wanted to...not sure about your consumption habits.

 

If you have a lot of worried thoughts at night... if you have trouble falling asleep just generally (not necessarily always stress related-- serotonin converts to melatonin)... if you get headaches, jaw pain, neck pain, back pain... it may be your serotonin levels.

There are some OTC herbals to help, like Ashwagandha, St. John's Wort, and 5-HTP.  Exercise also helps.

But there is also nothing wrong with going to your doctor and talking about your stress levels and asking if there are meds that can help.  Heck, 20% of the country is on an SSRI for something.  I expect that that number has gone even higher with coronavirus, and also in the finance industry in general. 

I also recommend cutting out drinking if your job allows-- if you work in sales, that simply may not be possible (although with coronavirus, you may be able to quit temporarily and have all the stressors wash out when the bars reopen). Even 15-20 standard servings of alcohol per week has a noticeable effect on your levels of stress. 

Look, I worked in sales and trading for three years.  If a world without alcohol is difficult to comprehend, I was like that too.  But when I got to three weeks without alcohol, my life was a lot better, and it was hard to comprehend going back to drinking.

Craig Beck offers a book and a course for this.  The book is free if you watch his webinar, and you get a discount on the course, too.  Read the book first, then come back and make a decision on the course.

Just throwing out a few ideas.  If you work in finance and have issues with stress, just know that you're not alone.

 
papertiger

I jerk off every day. I'm not a perv. SOmehow the ejaculation feeling releases a lot of pent up body negative energy all in one blow.

Porn or sex per se doesn't interest me as much of that sensation of jizzing.

Insanely hot showers are also a thing for me.

I wish I could un-read this. 

"My name's Ralph Cox, and I'm from where ever's not gonna get me hit"
 

Glass of wine, a great book, my doggo on the side and the cat on my lap.

That's how I cool things down if I manage to have time to do so. 

 

1. Lifting intensely.  I usually go late at night  when my deliverables are done and I'm not worried about getting an email that pulls me out of the gym.  Reason being that it's not relaxing or beneficial to me if there's a legitimate possibility of having to work when I'm lifting.  If that's the case, my attention is split between the workout and my phone as opposed to being solely focused on the workout. 

2. Some people have mentioned that smoking some weed after a long day helps.  One could say that it's a necessity, that there's not another comparable way to forget your troubles, relieve physical and mental stress, and still be able to function at 100% the next day.  I can't confirm or deny any of that.

3.  Talking to people that you care about.  Fortunately, no one that I actually care about is in banking or understands banking.  Also fortunately, most people that I care about aren't boring, so I can have interesting conversations w/ ppl where I know that work isn't going to come up and the conversations are compelling enough that I'm typically not drifting off in my mind to think about work.

4.  Gambling.  This is a good way to get my undivided attention on something outside of work.  If a dime of my own money is on the line, my attention is squarely on that dime, regardless of how much of someone else's money is on the line in something unrelated.  Obviously, this is a slippery slope and I'm fortunate to be a good enough NLHE player that I can largely counter the losses that accumulate due to my degeneracy at the tables. 

5.  Sleep as much as your schedule allows.  

6.  Find time to whack off and/or have sex every day. 

 

heavy bag work is great.  set of wraps, maybe light pads, and a heavy bag - even if a water weighted kick box bag works well [does not take up much space]

do your regular run and lifts and then box rounds of 200 punches each with 1 min breaks [starting out maybe 3 rounds, and may need 2 min breaks] - don't be a slouch use good footwork.  oh yeah your stress is gone after the punches.

Within a few weeks you will be up to 5 or more rounds at 200 to 300 punches per round.  You will be calm as can be after that punching - nothing beats it.

 

lifting, bullshit Netflix before bed (takes mind off work), listening to music whilst cycling home from work (not sure why but its peaceful)... And last but not least, playing Chess (or similar) maybe it's just me, but I find that doing something non-work related that's mentally challenging can actually divert your thoughts from work and once you've escaped those thoughts momentarily it's a little easier to forget them for the night

 

I guess I really don't do any specific things after each work day. However, what I do like to do is take all (or most) of my PTO in large chunks so that I get away from the office. I use my time after work to part plans of my time off. For example, last December I took most of the month off and did a golfing trip where I played every day and did whatever I wanted (ate bad food, casino gambling at night, etc.). So I'll use my days after work to plan the courses I want to play or do other things for my trip. That keeps me motivated and focused and makes the trip feel like a big reward at the end. 

 

Whatever you do, do it hard. If you hang out with your friends, shut off the phone / ignore it for the first hour or two. If you run, don't check your e-mail at crosswalks. If you lift, leave your phone in the locker. If you fucking love the West Wing, close out of outlook when you're watching it.

The biggest impact on my mental health was when I stopped trying to multi-task so much. Huge benefit. Actually, even when working, I have stopped multi-tasking and the benefits are enormous. 

 

AmazingSushi

Whatever you do, do it hard. If you hang out with your friends, shut off the phone / ignore it for the first hour or two. If you run, don't check your e-mail at crosswalks. If you lift, leave your phone in the locker. If you fucking love the West Wing, close out of outlook when you're watching it.

The biggest impact on my mental health was when I stopped trying to multi-task so much. Huge benefit. Actually, even when working, I have stopped multi-tasking and the benefits are enormous. 

Very much this. Stop trying to accomplish a quick task while something loads... just take a couple breaths and roll your shoulders back.

Don't poop with your phone. Get a fun toilet book. I'm reading the Humans Of New York book on the john right now. 

heister: Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad. https://arthuxtable.com/
 

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"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

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