A new cocky asshole has broken into the epic recruiting fail scene! Seems people will never learn.
Let's see if we can be the first site to figure out his identity.
From: Redacted
Sent: Monday, February 14, 2011 11:55 AM
To: [redacted at Citi]
Subject: Re: Citi Sales, Trading & Quantitative Analysis Summer Analyst Program
Hi Redacted:
Thank you so much for replying my email!!
Ah, what a pity that I missed one of the most prestigious bank in the world, and what a pity citi-group missed a mathematics genius like me, the smartest student ever in the engineering department, the one who beaten math majors in the most difficult competition in the world like idiots, and the one who astutely points out the mars existing in the Gaussian Copula and made proper corrections on it!! Shelli’s stupidity can surely not appreciate my conspicuously superior intellectuality. Woe to the fatuous decision, yet I humbly accpet!
Best luck with citi-bank, and I sincerely hope the trading can still flourish with those incompetent workers, with those preposterous foreclosures and ludicrous CDOs, with those avaricious vampires drying the blood of tens of thousands of poor languishing in loans and poverty! Woe!May God’s wrath descends, and the world becomes round again, rather than flat! May Wall Street realize its originally obscure identity as a mere defending street against the English colonizers! Beware Ozymandias, beware! If I come to power one day, surely I will follow unfalteringly the foot steps of Andrew Jackson, exterminating these unsatisfying and heinous vermins first and foremost, breaching the seemingly unbreakable pillbox of the shameless bankers, advocating the glory of justice, and spreading the merrying news of equality and happiness!
So help me, God!
(Source: DealBreaker)
yes , I was literally waiting for a new one all week long....seems a bit unreal though
poor guys who just dont seem to have common sense.
GBB, did you receive it as a forward earlier in the week then?
Nah, these things tend to be faster on dealbraker than I can get a hold of them. I am sure though we can track this thing soon enough.
It honestly seems fake but I wonder why someone would want to Vayner himself like this unless he was completely oblivious to what he was doing.
The dude seems like he doesn't have a great grasp of the English language. Plural problems and a lot of thesaurus words, who "points out the mars"? It took me a few to understand he meant the mistakes rather than the planet.
if this is real, it's a great testament to the importance of being humble and hungry
God I love recruiting season, brings out the best in people.
Hahahaha
Wow. I'm impressed. The kid's bonkers and I'm left thouroughly amused. Great job throwing out the Dealbreaker link.
Ehhh, if not for the megalomaniacal rant, he might have a bit of a point about the industry.
Oh I how I hope this is real. This is PURE gold.
Hilarious
//IlliniProgrammer feels a deep sense of guilt...
Favorite poem. No homo.
Hire this man!
Don't worry Illini, it's definitely not that obscure.
Maybe it's Raj of BIWS-gate fame staying true to form once again.
Guys, he's an engineer. To us non-liberal-arts-school engineers, Catcher in the Rye or anything not written by JRR Tolkien for that matter is obscure.
Haha, that's unreal. This week gets better and better.
lmaoooo this is too good to be real
i mean no one can be THAT stupid, right?
Could anyone else see Blastoise, cracked out on lack of sleep and Red Bull writing something like this in a fit of rage?
Admin note: Consolidating the duplicate threads below into this one:
http://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forums/funny-email-forward http://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forums/prospective-monkeys-how-to-never-…
. dumb comment
Dude, I hope it's Raj. Then I can say I've personally witnessed his rise from witless troll into a full-fledged legend.
While the spelling is wanting and the whole premise of the email is somewhat ridiculous, I do give the writer points for a well-played Shelley reference.
lol
When in fact there is a Shelli who runs ST&QA lol
Sort of sounds like the Koran.
I mean that in a good way.
Honestly if i was a high up banker or c level at Citi I would hire this person to be the company spokes person. Honestly when there is a PR flap just send this guy out with his mindless ramblings and it will be the talk of the town and everyone will have forgotten about what the problem was
Either it is someone who is very good at making fun of the classic engineering stereotype or the classic engineering stereotype. "Engineering is so much harder than Finance." " Very True. How much is your offer for that civil engineering job paying? Oh, 45 grand? Have fun with that."
Since when does being harder have anything to do with making money? Engineers can always go for finance jobs if that's what they're looking for. Sorry you're stuck in consulting.
A buddy of mine from college was interviewing for a company and he thought he had the job easy, turns out they hired his competition he sent a similar email to that company and the owner thought it was so great that he offered him a different position. Not that I suggest doing this for anything in Wall Street.
Here's another new memeber:
http://dealbreaker.com/2011/02/hedge-fund-applicant-busts-out-the-jazz-…
here was my cover letter to goldman sachs
Dear Hiring Manager:
Please interview me. Why?
I can stay up and burn the midnight oil. Can go pickup food orders with out screwing it up. Realistic about what tasks i'll be doing. I know the MD is always right. I can sit in front of computer screen for 18 hours a day. I aspire to master excel. I know about the financial crisis.
I know the only detriment to supply and demand is emotion. I can respond to emails at 4:00 AM while sleeping! I can pull the the all-nighters. I can work 90 plus hours a week. I desire to learn from the best in finance. I know not to wear white collars. I know not to wear cuffs. I do not aspire to be Gordon Gekko. I am to smart to believe Shia Labeouf turned $20,000 into $300,000. I aspire to be that non target kid. My favorite movie is not Wall Street. I think bankers do God's work. I already have a Black Berry. I can kiss ass. I can take take teasing. I can explain credit default swaps. I can explain synthetic default swaps. I can explain options.
Finally, I can write a cover letter in exactly 300 words.
If I read that cover letter I would make sure you got an interview hahaha.
Architecto ducimus eos nisi quibusdam animi est maxime. Autem et consectetur molestias.
Aspernatur excepturi occaecati et voluptas commodi atque animi asperiores. Molestiae ex aut labore sint laboriosam blanditiis commodi. Veniam reiciendis sit error similique.
Est at voluptas sapiente. Inventore aliquid delectus sed tempora. Ex sed deserunt sed est repudiandae cum. Non fugit nisi non vel eos. Dolore aliquam nobis fugiat corrupti asperiores eveniet. Beatae suscipit delectus velit excepturi. Quae qui illum aliquid et.
Facere aut voluptatum repellendus eveniet. A molestias qui repellendus vel occaecati voluptatem. Non et amet blanditiis et mollitia.
See All Comments - 100% Free
WSO depends on everyone being able to pitch in when they know something. Unlock with your email and get bonus: 6 financial modeling lessons free ($199 value)
or Unlock with your social account...
Dolores officiis neque ut. Minima beatae quo aut minus. Alias non et atque voluptas est placeat. Ipsum perferendis animi et odio molestiae aspernatur rerum. Eos qui consequatur delectus aut porro laudantium qui occaecati. Laborum necessitatibus quia non modi.
Numquam suscipit labore atque ut animi. Ipsum illum vitae a ea nesciunt asperiores tenetur. Provident adipisci aperiam temporibus molestias. Vero laboriosam nulla occaecati est. Dolore unde quam omnis id magnam ea voluptas. Quis atque inventore sit doloremque quas.
Qui quas perspiciatis quibusdam praesentium. Et ad voluptatum qui sint sint exercitationem est sint. Aliquam ipsam doloribus repudiandae quae in molestiae.
Omnis iste accusantium nihil ut. Repellat molestiae sint iure tenetur laboriosam est iusto. Sequi in voluptatem dolores dolorum et voluptatem autem. Eos voluptatum iste dolor ex magnam eum cupiditate illo. Nam consequuntur impedit non.
Nemo quis vel aut eius. Molestiae nobis in placeat iusto saepe quidem. Minima ea assumenda et asperiores omnis.
Perferendis dicta dolor voluptatem ad commodi officiis ut. Nam aspernatur perferendis pariatur fugit. Occaecati expedita ea praesentium ea earum.