Man Week: Playing Your Part

With the opening entry to Man Week, I wanted to bring you guys something that is both, useful and fun. I wound up having to deep six dozens of ideas. I realized that there were way too many issues to address and way too many possible routes to take. So I chose a road yet unpaved.

Today, I will address an issue that I haven't seen touched upon any place else. At least not in the way I think it should be. My approach will not be gentle or kind or friendly. I don't expect gratitude or appreciation for my thoughts. Quite the opposite, in fact.

My daily reality has become a constant confrontation with the feminization of the American male. Whether at the grocery store, the workplace, the bar, on the street or online, I see fewer and fewer men reasoning and behaving as our forefathers did. I am not part of the crowd who looks as this state of affairs as one of progress or evolution.

Quite the opposite, in fact.

Let me be clear, my motivations are as selfish as they are benevolent. I miss being around actual men. The kind who do not leave the room to let one rip choosing instead to stay and bask in the afterglow...on a first date. The kind who understand that physical violence, aggression and anger are some of the most beautifully poetic parts of not only who we are, but what we are. The kind whose individual wills and personal desires can never be satiated by something as vaginal as societal approval. The kind who wouldn't just come into a topic like this and tell me to STFU, but the kind that would send a private message with their location, a death threat and the request of a face-to- face duel.

Believe it or not...

In this previous paragraph is the answer to all of your questions, young monkeys.
How do I cold call an MD? Check.How do I ace my interview? Check.How do I succeed in business? Get ahead in life? Live fulfilled? Find happiness? Achieve my goals?

Check-oh-slo-fucking-vakia. A big fat, red, bold check mark next to your name in the game of life...one that so many of our wayward brethren have lost or never learned to play.

Truth be told, there is only one type of skill that men need to master in life, in order to master life itself. That skill is not external or market driven. That skill cannot be found online or in a self help book. That skill is inside all of you, but the vast majority do not use it. It lies dormant. Languishing and dying. Here is that skill, in a basic and simple format. It is the ability to communicate with other men and to earn their admiration, loyalty and respect. Or as it applies to far too many:

Become a Man Without Remaining a Bitch



Rule #1: Might is Right

You do not need to rip the flesh off your opponent and snack on it like cold cuts. You do not need to be an overcompensating pussy who tries to prove himself with backhanded comments and ad hominem. You do not need to ice grill the other kids at your super day. Strength is an internal quality. No muscle, no glare, no gesticulation can provide it. It manifests itself via spontaneous energy expulsion. Energy which cannot be released when you are expanding efforts to try precisely that . You must be and being requires doing and not trying. Confused? If so, that is a very good sign. You will learn much this week, Young Jedi. Logical? Reasonable? Proper? No. Quite the opposite, in fact.

The first step is not about comprehension, but about presentation. If you want to learn to survive in the jungle, you must first be able to observe the predators in action. Walking through the lion's den requires the ability to fit in. You can climb all the ladders and kiss all the asses, but if you are not a leader...men will not follow...your survival will depend upon circumstance and luck. In other words, you have to blend in and fake it, till you make it, until it becomes second nature. Follow these steps in figuring out what it is:

a) Stand in front of and look into the mirror.

b) Set your jaw. Your top and bottom row of teeth in "the chewing section" should be clasped firmly, but without tension. If you are like most men, you will have an overbite, with the top front row of teeth overlapping the bottom. You should feel a slight pursing of the lips, a tautness of the jaw line and a minute tension in your cheek bones and forehead.

c) Widen your eyes. You do not need to add the sneer that comes with a caffeine powered all-nighter. If you chew tobacco, gulp Adderall or blow rails/other analysts in bathroomsyou should probably skip this step and focus on lowering your glare's intensity.

d) Straighten your fucking back and put this thought in the front of your mind. I will not blink or look away during conversations today, locked eye contact is the air I breathe. Support it with the following: I will speak from my voice box and project my voice in the direction of my target.Stop talking out of your mouth and stomach. This leads to either mumbling or that queer as folk voice crack I am hearing more and more to my great chagrin. You do not need to be a Baritone for your voice to have a powerful impact. You just have to speak from your voice box, clearly and succinctly projecting strength and confidence. The key aspect is to not get carried away and inject that opinionated girly tone that jumps off so many of your written posts and comments. Eliminate sarcasm. It is spineless and weak. Men of power and respect sneer at it.

e) Slap the shit out of yourself every time you say "um", "like", "you know", "for sure" and use other verbal crutches. Now you are ready to roll out. Not like a chump. Quite the opposite, in fact.

Rule #2: Show Strength, Even From a Weakened Position

You've grown up in a whirly girley baton twirly world. All fucking gold stars and back pats. You are quite possibly a fat ass with a runner's trophy or a child of privilege with delusions of abilities and talents that are far more closely tied to daddy's checkbook than your own skill set. Get over yourself. You've got some rude awakenings coming your way. Reality does not give a fucking damn about where you went to school, stop sending me fucking LinkedIn invitations, no I don't give a shit who you know or why you want to be in the industry...the real truth fellas...

I want to know how you can be of use to me.

The preceding words are the thoughts of all men in power when they are approached by you younger guys. They look at you like spineless jellyfish handed the benefits of their hard work. It doesn't matter whether they are right or not. This is how the guy world evalution process has worked for centuries, it has not and will not change behind closed doors. What matters is that you can play on their level a lot sooner than promotions and evaluations will allow...IF...you are respectful of them and yourself in stark contrast to the salad tossing strategies so many of you employ now. Memorize the following paragraph, make it your prayer, your motto, your Michael Jordan fade away jumper at the buzzer:

"No, sir. I cannot run that comp. I am currently working on a DCF for Managing Director X, followed by my meeting with Vice President Z and a 10:45 with Client Y. I want your matter to get the full attention it deserves. If given to me it will not be addressed until tomorrow afternoon at the earliest."

This is a template. The words and subject matter are there to convey an essence. Saying "yes" is not what men do simply because it is expected of them. Yes,there are times you will say it. But it is never about what you say as much as it is about how you say it. This is precisely what every single other paper pusher two years ahead of you on the track to managed manicured monotony will tell you not to say.

If you want to be another clone, listen to them. If you want to achieve results which are not ephemeral. Take the leap of faith and do what you must...but on your own terms. Pray you realize that you're living the life of a secretary sooner than when you become the fucking head of Bedpans and Depositions.

Yes, you will catch some hate. You may make some enemies. You may get a tongue lashing or even be fired. So...fucking...what? Human society is where it is today is because of the risks men have taken...nothing else. In spite of the equal rights, positive discrimination, weakness affirmation routine you've been given.

This is a truth stronger than fact: If you do not act with balls around other males, you will be ostracized, jail shower raped, beaten, pissed on and thrown back into the knitting room with the girls. Love it or leave it. Compared to what you are told daily...I'm sure...quite the opposite, in fact.

Rule #3: Loyalty Above All Else...except Honor

Yes, I do talk a lot of shit that does not make sense to well schooled young gentlemen. The daily delusion you have all been fed is that with enough studying, a good enough SAT/GRE/GMAT score and the right circle of friends you can avoid boorish, stone aged attitudes and hairy back fisted apes like me.

Sorry, champ. Quite the opposite, in fact. Not because the guy who sold you blow in high school and fucked your girlfriend in college is running Wall Street. But because it is you fine gentlemen who eventually become the biggest thugs. As I always repeat and perhaps don't manage to convey accurately enough:
Everything in this world has a price.

Going into an industry that is about money and absolutely nothing else changes people. It changes them on a biological and neurological level. The values and ideas that you hold dear today, will not exist a decade from today.Perhaps they already don't.

That is why the only thing you really have is your word and a code of honor which is no longer taught or respected. More than simple cliches, the following suggestions will make or break your relationships with other guys in the long run. Remember them and practice them. Abide by them even when your own personal gain is not aligned with them. Some of you think you practice the following, you are lying to yourselves...

Show love to those who helped you. Always go back and take care of those who took care of you. NEVER let your opinions or those vaginal little drips which have no place in a male environment, called feelings cloud your vision. Always return calls, favors and good advice. If you do not or will not, step up and say that so. Manhood is based on standing up for one's decisions, even more so if that decision is displeasing or difficult. Always speak the truth, even when you know that it may lose you a client, a friend or a job. Always be critical of your own decisions with regards to how you treat your compatriots. NEVER call a man your friend if you will not stand by him in tough times. Always reward those who have given to your cause without asking for payback. If you think relationships are about payouts and returns, they are not. Quite the opposite, in fact.

If you don't practice the preceding, you will learn the harshest lesson of all. Success and happiness are byproducts of respect and honor, not hard work. You live in a world of people and human interaction. Being trapped behind a screen all day long can sometimes confuse that fact. The bottom line is that in a world of men you have two things:

1) Your word

2) Your balls

DO NOT break them for anybody.

 

Men text when the bitch they are trying to smash texts (this is how happy landed his first threesome).

Preach on Midas, preach on.

If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford
 
happypantsmcgee:
Men text when the bitch they are trying to smash texts (this is how happy landed his first threesome).

Preach on Midas, preach on.

Agreed, texting is clutch and has absolutely nothing to do with masculinity. You're really going to let your manliness be defined by whether you use basic fucking technology?

http://ayainsight.co/ Curating the best advice and making it actionable.
 

Bra-fuckin-vo sir. It's shit like this that makes me proud to still be a man in a world that is getting increasingly feminized like you said. The real men at the top won't ever change - but the middle layer gets more and more pussified - but alas this is how all things go.

If I may add one thing to this which is more worldly - if you're a real man, get off of your ass and go to the gym. Get in shape. There is no way you can abide by the principles that Midas laid out while having no respect for your physical well-being. A fatass manager never gets my respect - it doesn't help that these people also cultivate a sarcastic sense of humor and self-loathing as a coping mechanism. Our forefathers toiled on their farms all day. A real man has a confidence that if the whole world were to go to shit and all laws and order suspended in an instant, that he would still be able to protect and provide for himself and his family.

 

While I agree with many of your points, some tend to favor projecting strength over actually possessing it. I know you would specifically object to such a man, but I would argue that sometimes it is wise to allow your opponents, or anyone else around, to underestimate you. They will soon be sorry that they did. I could list dozens of quotes from Sun Tzu's Art of War, but here is one:

"A military operation involves deception. Even though you are competent, appear to be incompetent. Though effective, appear to be ineffective."

Trying so hard to project a "manly" image can often lead to arrogance and oversight. So, while I would agree with many of your qualities you list, I would focus much more on having big balls than trying to convince others that you do (whether you do or not).

Another one of my favorite quotes on the subject, though admittedly from a less sophisticated source: "The loudest one in the room is the weakest one in the room." Frank Lucas, American Gangster

 
Tar Heel Blue:
While I agree with many of your points, some tend to favor projecting strength over actually possessing it. I know you would specifically object to such a man, but I would argue that sometimes it is wise to allow your opponents, or anyone else around, to underestimate you. They will soon be sorry that they did. I could list dozens of quotes from Sun Tzu's Art of War, but here is one:

"A military operation involves deception. Even though you are competent, appear to be incompetent. Though effective, appear to be ineffective."

Trying so hard to project a "manly" image can often lead to arrogance and oversight. So, while I would agree with many of your qualities you list, I would focus much more on having big balls than trying to convince others that you do (whether you do or not).

Another one of my favorite quotes on the subject, though admittedly from a less sophisticated source: "The loudest one in the room is the weakest one in the room." Frank Lucas, American Gangster

I think Robert Greene's 48 law of power is way better!

 

Interim report card/ progress report:

@ heister: B-. It is ALWAYS a great man week.

@ Dr Fulton. C-. Virtous=vaginal. Men do not strive for virtue, men strive for virility. Natural toxic projectile=WIN!

@ karypto. A+. Used "machete". End game.

@ HPM. AAA. CHUUUCH!!!!

@ Golden Bear. If male, then Epick McPhail. If female, I will call back...someday...really... Either way. D.

@ Jeff Skilling. Your ass and Andy Fastow's, to start. D+.

@noobstar. B+. For believing I'd write anything under this much Vicodin.

@THB. Reading is fun**mental. Sun Tzu rhetoric great if target audience Dick Fuld interviewing at Goldman. However, if Excel jockey with delusions of grandeur must survive long enough to scheme. Hungry tigers not impressed by Penn & Teller routine. Will consider your wit and wisdom while shipping carcass parts through bowel superhighway. Grade: INCOMPLETE.

 
Best Response
Midas Mulligan Magoo:
Interim report card/ progress report:

@ Dr Fulton. C-. Virtous=vaginal. Men do not strive for virtue, men strive for virility. Natural toxic projectile=WIN!

.

A lot of things on the OP I agree 100% with. I think virile man and a virtuous man have a lot of overlapping characteristics that a successful, respected and happy man in today's world possess. Both are strong willed, confident and respected. Virility is associated with sexual vitality, and virtue is not. But if you're going to say a man with virtuous characteristics can't get laid, you're wrong. A virtuous man is a confident man, and a confident man always gets laid.

Yes promiscuity is masculine and macho and all of those things, but the Don Drapers of the world who fuck every decent female in the office are extinct. Besides, farting in front of a chick is not virile by any means. It's stupid and immature. Do you think Jeter, Draper, or Cary Grant, all men who posses a great amount of virility, ever ripped ass on a date? No.

Having virility, virtue or characteristics of both is a good thing. Trying too hard to be a Mr. Macho he-man by farting in public, picking fights with the wrong guy (or picking fights because physical aggression is poetic) or challenging someone on an internet forum to send you an empty threat (come on dude, this is Wall Street Oasis) doesn't come off as Macho, but as insecure and boyish.

Virtuous=vaginal? Is that the best you can do? I thought Rule #2 is "Show Strength, Even from a Weakened Position" and #3 is "Loyalty above all else...except Honor."

How is possessing virtuous traits, such as fortitude, honor, loyalty, courage, perseverance, honesty, etc., unmanly? Or, in your own words, which are eerily similar to those of a 14 year old, vaginal? And I didn't understand the "Natural toxic projectile=WIN!" part. Is that sarcasm? I thought sarcasm was spineless and weak.

 
Dr Barnaby Fulton:
Midas Mulligan Magoo:
Interim report card/ progress report:

@ Dr Fulton. C-. Virtous=vaginal. Men do not strive for virtue, men strive for virility. Natural toxic projectile=WIN!

.

A lot of things on the OP I agree 100% with. I think virile man and a virtuous man have a lot of overlapping characteristics that a successful, respected and happy man in today's world possess. Both are strong willed, confident and respected. Virility is associated with sexual vitality, and virtue is not. But if you're going to say a man with virtuous characteristics can't get laid, you're wrong. A virtuous man is a confident man, and a confident man always gets laid.

Yes promiscuity is masculine and macho and all of those things, but the Don Drapers of the world who fuck every decent female in the office are extinct. Besides, farting in front of a chick is not virile by any means. It's stupid and immature. Do you think Jeter, Draper, or Cary Grant, all men who posses a great amount of virility, ever ripped ass on a date? No.

Having virility, virtue or characteristics of both is a good thing. Trying too hard to be a Mr. Macho he-man by farting in public, picking fights with the wrong guy (or picking fights because physical aggression is poetic) or challenging someone on an internet forum to send you an empty threat (come on dude, this is Wall Street Oasis) doesn't come off as Macho, but as insecure and boyish.

Virtuous=vaginal? Is that the best you can do? I thought Rule #2 is "Show Strength, Even from a Weakened Position" and #3 is "Loyalty above all else...except Honor."

How is possessing virtuous traits, such as fortitude, honor, loyalty, courage, perseverance, honesty, etc., unmanly? Or, in your own words, which are eerily similar to those of a 14 year old, vaginal? And I didn't understand the "Natural toxic projectile=WIN!" part. Is that sarcasm? I thought sarcasm was spineless and weak.

maybe I should have taken the blue pill, as well...

 

Is this your Wall Street side talking? Or your concrete jungle childhood side talking? I see both. Makes me wonder whether or not all kids should grow up in emotionally-deprived, poverty-stricken environments.

But what defines manhood? I'm pretty sure most of us on here get pu**y, make money, drink beer, and take charge of our lives. Mark Zuckerberg probably has no hair on his chest, but because of the technological path others have paved, he is now a very powerful man in this world.

Not everyone can be a leader. Instead of working on better displaying our manhood, lets focus on making intelligence less frowned upon in today's society. Joe Blow's muscles are trying to climb out his shirt as he chugs a protein shake in ECON. He doesn't give a fuk about the material, nor does the blonde who is thinking about getting reamed while entertaining his third grade stories. Society is fuced.

 
abey1:
Is this your Wall Street side talking? Or your concrete jungle childhood side talking? I see both. Makes me wonder whether or not all kids should grow up in emotionally-deprived, poverty-stricken environments.

But what defines manhood? I'm pretty sure most of us on here get pu**y, make money, drink beer, and take charge of our lives. Mark Zuckerberg probably has no hair on his chest, but because of the technological path others have paved, he is now a very powerful man in this world.

Not everyone can be a leader. Instead of working on better displaying our manhood, lets focus on making intelligence less frowned upon in today's society. Joe Blow's muscles are trying to climb out his shirt as he chugs a protein shake in ECON. He doesn't give a fuk about the material, nor does the blonde who is thinking about getting reamed while entertaining his third grade stories. Society is fuced.

I address this point specifically in my post tomorrow. Too many men have come to rely on technology as a "force multiplier", and have allowed their inner warrior to lie dormant as a result. And you're dead wrong about leadership. Everyone can be a leader, but few will. Muscles are not the measure of a man, but neither is his IQ. If you want to measure a man you need only look at his heart.

"A pack a lions led by a sheep is no match for a pack of sheep led by a lion." - Winston Churchill

 

Ah, refreshing. Sometimes you do have to preach to the choir. I think one of the things we are seeing in addition to feminization of men is the masculization of women--we're in a colossal merge towards some middle being that can't exist, because we aren't wired to handle it. It seems each gender is trying to become more and more like the other, and we are forgetting what makes each one what it is. It's this hellish vision that everyone is supposed to be "the same" that really keeps me awake at night.

Metal. Music. Life. www.headofmetal.com
 
Pfalzer:
Ah, refreshing. Sometimes you do have to preach to the choir. I think one of the things we are seeing in addition to feminization of men is the masculization of women--we're in a colossal merge towards some middle being that can't exist, because we aren't wired to handle it. It seems each gender is trying to become more and more like the other, and we are forgetting what makes each one what it is. It's this hellish vision that everyone is supposed to be "the same" that really keeps me awake at night.

What the fuck are you talking about?

 

Midas Mulligan Ministries...

http://www.youtube.com/embed/AZVL0yaSvj4

Regards

"The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant, it's just that they know so much that isn't so." - Ronald Reagan
 
fonz:
You forgot Rule #4: Complain incessantly about the feminization of men. This will help you project masculinity on internet forums.
This.

I don't feel like (eheh) real men complain about the feminisation of men on internet forums.

 
mxc:
fonz:
You forgot Rule #4: Complain incessantly about the feminization of men. This will help you project masculinity on internet forums.
This.

I don't feel like (eheh) real men complain about the feminisation of men on internet forums.

you are complaining about someone complaining about the feminisation of men... you called them "not a real man" so what does that make you a bitch?

The answer to your question is 1) network 2) get involved 3) beef up your resume 4) repeat -happypantsmcgee WSO is not your personal search function.
 

While I certainly agree with you to a large extent, do you really think fighting people, causing chaos, and getting physically violent with people is a good way to go about this? Just look at the ghettos of any major inner city. They are filled with gun totting males with plenty of the "manly" characteristics you espouse. I think the measure of a man, as you put it, lies much more in Rule #3 than anywhere else. Ultimately, all we have is ourselves and our honor. Was Gandhi the strongest man in the world? Was he a bastion of sexuality / over power? Hell no. Was he one of the greatest men who ever lived? Hell yes. Being a man has multiple definitions in the world. I have gay friends, straight friends, strong friends, weak friends, shy friends, and very outgoing friends. They all add something to my life that I would not have had without their unique personalities. Being a thick headed blowhard is great if you want to be "successful" in the realms of sexuality and having your voice heard, but in my opinion the true man is one who carries himself with respect, defends his honor and opinions, works to live in COMMUNION with those around him, and stands up for the needy / oppressed in the world. Frankly, I think its time that we, especially as Americans, stop being sissies and get some crap done for a change.

 

When it comes to the verbal stuff, I would add "eliminate saying I feel like". I noticed that in the US many people use this instead of "I think that" because it makes your attitude come across as softer, and therefore less likely to cause confrontation. Just say straight up what you mean, without appending any "softeners" to it.

 
the_red_baron:
When it comes to the verbal stuff, I would add "eliminate saying I feel like". I noticed that in the US many people use this instead of "I think that" because it makes your attitude come across as softer, and therefore less likely to cause confrontation. Just say straight up what you mean, without appending any "softeners" to it.

100% agree. I hear "I feel like" used to unnecessarily preface a sentence almost every single day.

 

it's a hard fact, Midas. you may sound rude to some people, but direct enough to me.

sometimes, it takes freedom to develop myself. i.e. - trying to catch up some reading during lunch time, and co-workers will try to talk me out of that. maybe someday I will have my balls and reply " i don't have enough pages for this week" and grab my books and read under the sunshine.

 

While I agree with a lot of the things you said Midas, I don't necessarily conform to the static "male" ideals you listed in their extreme form 100% of the time. I agree that because men in general are less masculine today, the masculine traits you are pushing can have a material impact for those who wield them.

Nature shows that 100% of the time that adaptation trumps any static ideal in the long run, and I would encourage men to take your advice only to the point where it benefits them. Strict adherence to "being a man" in the ways you listed with no adaptation is inferior to a system maximizing the best traits at the proper times. You can have other traits that run contrary to the ones you have listed that don't sacrifice your man honor.

 

48 laws of power is great. Some of the laws were a little deceiving and manipulative, to say the least. Unfortunately that's the world we live in. I think the law that most applies to the world of Ibanking is the "make others do work for you, but always take credit for their work." Pretty much the law that the asshole associate lives by.

I recommend anyone who puts these laws into practice take caution....misusing or botching one of these techniques could really fuck you.

 

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Et nihil enim nobis quia quasi est autem eos. Voluptas voluptatibus nemo vero et ex provident. Sapiente aut possimus eius explicabo eius adipisci commodi aut. Quam enim labore molestiae ab aliquid.

Et quaerat et non doloribus eaque. Fugiat facilis distinctio incidunt iste vitae.

I just play to win...
 

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" 'Cause when ya meals appear; ya errybodys silverware" L.B.
 

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Aut odit animi et in et velit et. Cum aliquid ratione illo culpa velit.

You know you've been working too hard when you stop dreaming about bottles of champagne and hordes of naked women, and start dreaming about conditional formatting and circular references.

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