Do I stay or do I go?

Have a girl that I really love in a Tier 3 city. Kind, cute, good values, really likes me, just an overall good person. Could definitely see myself marrying her. However, the career options are very limited in my city. I work at a bank that gets mentioned negetively on the forum, but I feel I've buit an excepetionally good rep in my first Analyst year and closed several deals. However, it is mostly ECM/DCM and I feel I lack technical experience; looking at LO or L/S HF as an ultimate goal. Seeking advice, do I stay here with gf, or do I leave to pursue a more fulfilling career? Anyone have any experience with this? Would be helpful to hear opinions.

Comments (12)

bluke, what's your opinion? Comment below:

If I were you Id get married and take her along.

Caveat you move to a big city and become a big shot cute girls will queue up in front of ya

Whateverlooksgood, what's your opinion? Comment below:

I moved from NYC (where I grew up) for my fiancé at the time, to a slightly less finance-y city and missed out on at least 2x of my current pay. Then we broke up the day before I started the job. But life always has a sense of humor - I now have a really exciting opportunity I would've never had if I didn't move here from nyc. Don't look at it linear. True that you shouldn't make career choices based on anyone but yourself, but honestly even if you fucked up, it's not the end of the world.

IncomingIBDreject, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Given the career oriented nature of this forum you probably will get answers that lean towards prioritizing career over partner but the true answer is far more complex than that. Few thoughts

1) Why exactly do you want a more technical role? Do you want more money, challenging work, etc.? Why specifically do you want to move to an HF?

2) What do you think are the chances you'll succeed in HF? As you know HF is more volatile and risky compared to ECM/DCM, so there's a chance that your HF firm blows up. Of course, on the contrary you could get fired from ECM/DCM so it's worth to think about the chances of each and what would your backup plan be

3) Are you ready to be bottom of the totem pole again? You seem to be in a comfortable spot in your job. Think back to when you just started as an analyst? Are you willing to do it all again? On another note, do you want to be the little fish in NYC when you appear to be a big fish in a small regional city pond.

4) How much do you want to stay with your girl? NYC is not a regional city. There might be hotter girls, but they aren't going to have the personality of girls from a regional city. A lot more people who measure your worth based on what they can extract out of you, and a lot less of the homely type of girl you can get in a regional city. Of course, maybe you find another girl that is special but don't simply assume because NYC is larger you are going to find a girl of similar quality. You really should think on this point because jobs come and go, but people are much more unique. If you leave this girl, you will not get her back.

You can probably see based on my questions which way I'm leaning with this but ultimately it's up to you. Really sit down and think through the questions above and whether the move is worth it. I think you are going to face substantial quantifiable losses by making the move for a reward that is poorly defined and extremely variable. 


  • 5
  • Associate 1 in IB - Gen

Lol you were supposed to say "more fulfilling life" not career dude. Yes go leave the girl you may want to marry to use spreadsheets in a more fulfilling way

  • Intern in IB - Cov

My man, I would take the relationship if a heartbeat if I was planning on marrying them. I would really look at how close to marriage you two are and how strong the relationship is. ECM/DCM is still very solid (although not for the short term, RIP) way of generating a lot of wealth in a LCOL city. Plus lower hours. 

Other side of the coin is people like me - no partner, NYC EB IB where you work 80-100 weeks, lose muscle/ gain fat, and the only exit opp you dream about is taking the "express elevator" from the 46th floor to the pavement.   

  • Analyst 2 in IB - Cov

people end up leaving nyc anyways to be honest; it's more just for starting your career (For the most part). If you can do 1-2 years there, it might be helpful in the long run for your personal growth. You could also Long distance - it's possible if it's with the right person. I don't know how far you are from there (train vs plane), 

  • Investment Analyst in HF - Event

Deleniti impedit animi earum eum enim nisi similique. In vel veniam id sint veritatis earum nobis. Consequatur enim fugiat quis illo in corrupti. Laboriosam vel aut qui voluptatem ut aperiam sed. Unde sit suscipit facilis.

Start Discussion

Career Advancement Opportunities

December 2022 Hedge Fund

  • Point72 98.9%
  • D.E. Shaw 97.9%
  • AQR Capital Management 96.8%
  • Citadel Investment Group 95.8%
  • Two Sigma Investments 94.7%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

December 2022 Hedge Fund

  • D.E. Shaw 98.9%
  • Magnetar Capital 97.8%
  • Blackstone Group 96.8%
  • Citadel Investment Group 95.7%
  • Millennium Partners 94.6%

Professional Growth Opportunities

December 2022 Hedge Fund

  • D.E. Shaw 99.0%
  • Point72 97.9%
  • AQR Capital Management 96.9%
  • Citadel Investment Group 95.8%
  • Blackstone Group 94.8%

Total Avg Compensation

December 2022 Hedge Fund

  • Portfolio Manager (9) $1,648
  • Vice President (22) $464
  • Director/MD (11) $434
  • NA (5) $306
  • Manager (4) $282
  • 3rd+ Year Associate (23) $275
  • Engineer/Quant (63) $269
  • 2nd Year Associate (29) $251
  • 1st Year Associate (71) $192
  • Analysts (213) $178
  • Intern/Summer Associate (20) $130
  • Junior Trader (5) $102
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (236) $85