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Leave. Don’t make life/career choices based on a girl unless she’s your wife 

 

I moved from NYC (where I grew up) for my fiancé at the time, to a slightly less finance-y city and missed out on at least 2x of my current pay. Then we broke up the day before I started the job. But life always has a sense of humor - I now have a really exciting opportunity I would've never had if I didn't move here from nyc. Don't look at it linear. True that you shouldn't make career choices based on anyone but yourself, but honestly even if you fucked up, it's not the end of the world.

 

Given the career oriented nature of this forum you probably will get answers that lean towards prioritizing career over partner but the true answer is far more complex than that. Few thoughts

1) Why exactly do you want a more technical role? Do you want more money, challenging work, etc.? Why specifically do you want to move to an HF?

2) What do you think are the chances you’ll succeed in HF? As you know HF is more volatile and risky compared to ECM/DCM, so there’s a chance that your HF firm blows up. Of course, on the contrary you could get fired from ECM/DCM so it’s worth to think about the chances of each and what would your backup plan be

3) Are you ready to be bottom of the totem pole again? You seem to be in a comfortable spot in your job. Think back to when you just started as an analyst? Are you willing to do it all again? On another note, do you want to be the little fish in NYC when you appear to be a big fish in a small regional city pond.

4) How much do you want to stay with your girl? NYC is not a regional city. There might be hotter girls, but they aren’t going to have the personality of girls from a regional city. A lot more people who measure your worth based on what they can extract out of you, and a lot less of the homely type of girl you can get in a regional city. Of course, maybe you find another girl that is special but don’t simply assume because NYC is larger you are going to find a girl of similar quality. You really should think on this point because jobs come and go, but people are much more unique. If you leave this girl, you will not get her back.

You can probably see based on my questions which way I’m leaning with this but ultimately it’s up to you. Really sit down and think through the questions above and whether the move is worth it. I think you are going to face substantial quantifiable losses by making the move for a reward that is poorly defined and extremely variable. 

Array
 

Lol you were supposed to say “more fulfilling life” not career dude. Yes go leave the girl you may want to marry to use spreadsheets in a more fulfilling way

 

My man, I would take the relationship if a heartbeat if I was planning on marrying them. I would really look at how close to marriage you two are and how strong the relationship is. ECM/DCM is still very solid (although not for the short term, RIP) way of generating a lot of wealth in a LCOL city. Plus lower hours. 

Other side of the coin is people like me - no partner, NYC EB IB where you work 80-100 weeks, lose muscle/ gain fat, and the only exit opp you dream about is taking the "express elevator" from the 46th floor to the pavement.   

 

people end up leaving nyc anyways to be honest; it's more just for starting your career (For the most part). If you can do 1-2 years there, it might be helpful in the long run for your personal growth. You could also Long distance - it's possible if it's with the right person. I don't know how far you are from there (train vs plane), 

 

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