Interesting op-ed in this week's NYT about a former credit derivs trader:
For the Love of Money IN my last year on Wall Street my bonus was $3.6 million — and I was angry because it wasn’t big enough. I was 30 years old, had no children to raise, no debts to pay, no philanthropic goal in mind. I wanted more money for exactly the same reason an alcoholic needs another drink: I was addicted.Eight years earlier, I’d walked onto the trading floor at Credit Suisse First Boston to begin my summer internship. I already knew I wanted to be rich, but when I started out I had a different idea about what wealth meant. I’d come to Wall Street after reading in the book “Liar’s Poker” how Michael Lewis earned a $225,000 bonus after just two years of work on a trading floor. That seemed like a fortune. Every January and February, I think about that time, because these are the months when bonuses are decided and distributed, when fortunes are made.
I’d learned about the importance of being rich from my dad. He was a modern-day Willy Loman, a salesman with huge dreams that never seemed to materialize. “Imagine what life will be like,” he’d say, “when I make a million dollars.” While he dreamed of selling a screenplay, in reality he sold kitchen cabinets. And not that well. We sometimes lived paycheck to paycheck off my mom’s nurse-practitioner salary.Dad believed money would solve all his problems. At 22, so did I. When I walked onto that trading floor for the first time and saw the glowing flat-screen TVs, high-tech computer monitors and phone turrets with enough dials, knobs and buttons to make it seem like the cockpit of a fighter plane, I knew exactly what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. It looked as if the traders were playing a video game inside a spaceship; if you won this video game, you became what I most wanted to be — rich.
IT was a miracle I’d made it to Wall Street at all. While I was competitive and ambitious — a wrestler at Columbia University — I was also a daily drinker and pot smoker and a regular user of co***ne, Ritalin and ecstasy. I had a propensity for self-destruction that had resulted in my getting suspended from Columbia for burglary, arrested twice and fired from an Internet company for fistfighting. I learned about rage from my dad, too. I can still see his red, contorted face as he charged toward me. I’d lied my way into the C.S.F.B. internship by omitting my transgressions from my résumé and was determined not to blow what seemed a final chance. The only thing as important to me as that internship was my girlfriend, a starter on the Columbia volleyball team. But even though I was in love with her, when I got drunk I’d sometimes end up with other women.
Three weeks into my internship she wisely dumped me. I don’t like who you’ve become, she said. I couldn’t blame her, but I was so devastated that I couldn’t get out of bed. In desperation, I called a counselor whom I had reluctantly seen a few times before and asked for help.
She helped me see that I was using alcohol and drugs to blunt the powerlessness I felt as a kid and suggested I give them up. That began some of the hardest months of my life. Without the alcohol and drugs in my system, I felt like my chest had been cracked open, exposing my heart to air. The counselor said that my abuse of drugs and alcohol was a symptom of an underlying problem — a “spiritual malady,” she called it. C.S.F.B. didn’t offer me a full-time job, and I returned, distraught, to Columbia for senior year.
After graduation, I got a job at Bank of America, by the grace of a managing director willing to take a chance on a kid who had called him every day for three weeks. With a year of sobriety under my belt, I was sharp, cleareyed and hard-working. At the end of my first year I was thrilled to receive a $40,000 bonus. For the first time in my life, I didn’t have to check my balance before I withdrew money. But a week later, a trader who was only four years my senior got hired away by C.S.F.B. for $900,000. After my initial envious shock — his haul was 22 times the size of my bonus — I grew excited at how much money was available.
Over the next few years I worked like a maniac and began to move up the Wall Street ladder. I became a bond and credit default swap trader, one of the more lucrative roles in the business. Just four years after I started at Bank of America, Citibank offered me a “1.75 by 2” which means $1.75 million per year for two years, and I used it to get a promotion. I started dating a pretty blonde and rented a loft apartment on Bond Street for $6,000 a month.
I felt so important. At 25, I could go to any restaurant in Manhattan — Per Se, Le Bernardin — just by picking up the phone and calling one of my brokers, who ingratiate themselves to traders by entertaining with unlimited expense accounts. I could be second row at the Knicks-Lakers game just by hinting to a broker I might be interested in going. The satisfaction wasn’t just about the money. It was about the power. Because of how smart and successful I was, it was someone else’s job to make me happy.
Still, I was nagged by envy. On a trading desk everyone sits together, from interns to managing directors. When the guy next to you makes $10 million, $1 million or $2 million doesn’t look so sweet. Nonetheless, I was thrilled with my progress.
My counselor didn’t share my elation. She said I might be using money the same way I’d used drugs and alcohol — to make myself feel powerful — and that maybe it would benefit me to stop focusing on accumulating more and instead focus on healing my inner wound. “Inner wound”? I thought that was going a little far and went to work for a hedge fund.
Now, working elbow to elbow with billionaires, I was a giant fireball of greed. I’d think about how my colleagues could buy Micronesia if they wanted to, or become mayor of New York City. They didn’t just have money; they had power — power beyond getting a table at Le Bernardin. Senators came to their offices. They were royalty.
I wanted a billion dollars. It’s staggering to think that in the course of five years, I’d gone from being thrilled at my first bonus — $40,000 — to being disappointed when, my second year at the hedge fund, I was paid “only” $1.5 million.
I felt as if I’d been punched in the gut. He was afraid of losing money, despite all that he had.
From that moment on, I started to see Wall Street with new eyes. I noticed the vitriol that traders directed at the government for limiting bonuses after the crash. I heard the fury in their voices at the mention of higher taxes. These traders despised anything or anyone that threatened their bonuses. Ever see what a drug addict is like when he’s used up his junk? He’ll do anything — walk 20 miles in the snow, rob a grandma — to get a fix. Wall Street was like that. In the months before bonuses were handed out, the trading floor started to feel like a neighborhood in “The Wire” when the heroin runs out.
I’d always looked enviously at the people who earned more than I did; now, for the first time, I was embarrassed for them, and for me. I made in a single year more than my mom made her whole life. I knew that wasn’t fair; that wasn’t right. Yes, I was sharp, good with numbers. I had marketable talents. But in the end I didn’t really do anything. I was a derivatives trader, and it occurred to me the world would hardly change at all if credit derivatives ceased to exist. Not so nurse practitioners. What had seemed normal now seemed deeply distorted.
Source: http://www.nytimes.com/2014/01/19/opinion/sunday/for-the-love-of-money.html?_r=0
It is a good article.
I will say, though, that I can understand someone's thought process of scoffing at a $3m bonus when you've made $300m for the firm.
delete
Also, below comment not directed at you Hamm.
Darn. And here I was thinking someone wanted to talk to me :(
Good read, puts things into perspective.
This right here is my problem with this guy and all the other wannabe do-gooders out there. It's not about actually helping people, it's about making himself feel good. If he had said that 75% of the girls in his writing class went on to college when only 25% would have previously or that the people his non-profit serves have become 10% or 50% less obese then I could respect him and his reasoning behind writing an Op-ed for the NYT... But, instead it's not about results or that he's actually helped people, it's about how he "feels" like he's making a real contribution.
Real change is not about willing people to write better or lose weight. Real change starts at the micro/bottom up level-- making sure those around you have better/more opportunities than you did and providing the support necessary for them to achieve those opportunities. My parents worked their asses off so I could have better opportunities than they did and you can be certain that I'm going to do the same for my kids. Real change starts within the family and taking care of your own not Warren Buffett acting like he has all the answers with his bull shit folksy faux humbleness.
Simple As... I'm with you. I think this guy is a narcissist. He's jumped from one addiction to another, all ultimately focused on himself. Hopefully he will write another op-ed in three years so we can see what he's chasing after then.
I couldn't agree more, SB'd.
FINALLY, someone says it. "Warren Buffett acting like he has all the answers with his bull shit folksy faux humbleness." hahah so true.
Real change starts at the family level. If you can't even get that down, the rest doesn't matter at all.
I'm glad that i'm not the only person who can't stand Buffett's BS chivalry. I've always seen his BS act as an old man crying for attention
I get it, but I think Buffett's family is probably doing ok
The guy is full of shit.
Big D dropping knowledge bombs today.
Can you elaborate? I'm sure you have a more interesting perspective given your experience.
Therein lies one of my favorite ironies - one cannot ever be truly altruistic.
I know this guy....Sam
No one from India, China, or a third world country will understand the point of this article. Clearly the author has never experienced true poverty. I'll give an example: a family of 3 living in a single room in the basement of an apartment complex located in the slums, sharing a bathroom and kitchen with strangers for years, scraping by on nutritionally deficient meals and saving every penny so they can finally move into a real apartment located in the same complex in the ghetto--that was the life of my friends in the public school system. That's poverty that everyone from the inner city and developing countries understands. His troublesome "conscience" is so elitist and overprivileged. I guess when you have enough disposable income to develop a coke habit, you can afford to sit on your first-world high horse all day and lecture on about how rich people like yourself are too greedy.
As anyone who grew up seeing poverty knows--if you can earn a nickel today you do it because there is no telling if you can earn that nickel tomorrow.
+1
Fully agree with MRCR. Living and traveling in the third world is what made me finally embrace capitalism as the best of a lot of shitty alternatives.
I'm gonna second that. As a guy who lived in the third world, I would rather spend my time trying to advance my career and be as valuable as possible in the market.
Demonizing the "money grubbers" is turning into a pretty lucrative market. Quite ironic, I must say. Anyone know how I can profit off of this? This guy is clearly on the right track. He can make some follow up book on how money isn't everything, and just sell it for a shit ton of money.
This guy is a fuking moron. So because he can't seem to be anything but and addict junkie and jumps from addiction to addiction, everyone else that's his peer must be too, right? Funny how this bullsht comes out right when Wolf of Wall Street does. Ok, so some people are greedy and some people want to maximize the reward they get for a producing significant profits. It's nice that he can pursue his altruistic path AFTER he's made millions. And by the way, he's still a douchebag. In his LinkedIn he refers to himself in the 3rd person....
Agreed. I'm guessing he has a book deal or is pushing for a book deal to ride the Wolf of Wall St coattails.
Is this dude inflating his salary, or was comp really that insane pre-crisis? An investment grade bond trader at BAML in Charlotte (pre-merger w/ ML) with 4 years experience getting offered $1.75mm / yr? That would never happen today.
If he was good and made $30M for a few years, then why not? Money isn't thrown around for just anyone , and wasn't necessarily done before the crisis. If you perform you get paid. Could he be lying? Sure. Is it impossible? Not even close.
Was most likely working in NYC and as mentioned, if you were profitable you would get paid as so
yes it would
I think that pay was at King Street
From his story this guy seems like an emotionally unstable person who couldn't handle his indulgences. Now he shuns the culture/lifestyle even though he was the one messed up from the beginning.
This is the type of article I expect to read in the NYTimes...
Even the first line is a complete ripoff from the Wolf of Wall Street
I must say i am really fed up with these dickheads that spent all 2000-2007 raking millions and come now to bore us to death with their nonsense about "meaning of life and happiness".
I can write books and speak about happiness too with 15m$ in the bank. But i was born 10 years too late.
Preach.
We need to stop buying these books.
Agree w/CA85... The author of this editorial has issues, but that's no reason to tar everyone w/the same brush. Yes, there are people who have problems with wealth and status, but so what? Doesn't mean anything...
He should prove that he means what he says by donating the majority of the money he made to the poor and less fortunate.
"Problems of the world" haha...newsflash, all the disgusting slobs out there don't want any of your help. The best thing you can do is help yourself (and maybe some folks that are close to you) without causing too much damage.
I think there is some truth to his points about wealth addiction and proximate jealousy skewing one's perspective, but at the same time this guy should mind his own business and stop being such a whiny little ninny and beta male.
But he's trying to sell a book and score a movie deal... why would he want to mind his own business?
Unfortunately I think they already made that movie...it contained gratuitous T&A and had a particularly en-light-ening scene involving a candlestick (no pun intended).
You always hear from these guys how important it is to save the world after they have made their millions. Would be alot less full of if he quit after the 40,000 bonus and went and helped people
God, I hate articles like this. So the guy made a killing as a young trader, now doesn't have to worry about money, and gets to write NYT articles telling others that there's more to life than money and that they should help others. Very easy to say when you don't have to worry about money. This is typical do-gooder talk from those who've already made it.
This guy isn't really contributing anything of value at this point, he's just telling people what they already know. If the Times or any other newspaper actually wanted to promote people making a living by doing something useful....they'd start running ads on what it's like to be a good cop/doctor/carpenter with a family and a parish. These articles serve only one purpose: to make the newpaper money.
It's why I don't spend a penny on any "wolf of wall street" crap, and it's why I'm not impressed by this article. Congrats on this guy having the luxury of doing what he wants now that he has millions in the bank, but he's joined the ranks of the elitist "discover yourself" crowd. When newspapers start running stories of people leading productive and well balanced lives, I'll start giving them money again....but they won't because a story like this is more exciting and makes the newspaper more short term bucks. No thanks, I'll just put that money in my retirement fund...and I honestly wish John Q Public would do the same.
real cool story. I love it
Seems like there are a lot of wealth addicts in here haha. @SimpleAs... there is nothing wrong with feeling good about doing some good. Your right, change starts with your own family, but after your own family is well and rich do you forget about the rest of the world? The truth is in finance we make money off of other people's ideas, hard work, and ingenuity simply because we know more about money and the banks we work for control all of it. In essence, finance creates no real value for the economy unless you are in the lending branches. Everyone has a good point that this guy is being all good now that he has millions, but that doesn't mean he's not right. Capitalism is built on growth. One year the GDP growth slows down and everybody panics. But exponential growth on a planet of limited resources is a bad formula. The math doesn't add up. There is no sustainability. Before all of you start talking shit, know that I am an investment banker for a BB. Hell maybe I'm hypocritical too, but I plan on using the influence and power to lessen the disparity in America and maybe the world (it is a long shot yes I know). Ronald Reagan fucked the middle class and Bush dealt another blow. There should be a balance between capitalism and socialism much like in European countries. There model is far from perfect, but it could be improved. @MRCR don't compare a nickel to a $5 million dollar bonus. There is no comparison. There are more important things than money. When you die, you don't take it with you anyway.
Sorry, I don't take well to the overprivileged in First World countries lecturing me about what I can and cannot earn.
i think i saw this section in the humblebrag entry in the dictionary.
for someone who has actually CHANGED others recently, read about billy baker and the dorchester boys.
I thought this was written by Turney Duff for a second. It was all the coke.
This guy is 100% trying to score a book/movie deal on the heels of WOWS, the description of his father "selling screenplays" was a dead giveaway, as was mentioning his drug habits, and how he had a pretty girlfriend who left him shortly after joining the street (doesn't that sound familiar).
As another guy mentioned, it's easy to preach about life and happiness when you've got $15MM in the bank and are living off the interest.
Didn't really have to read much past the break-up to realize he was not an awesome dude...
Also SB for the point above about making a measurable difference vs. doing meaningless self-fulfilling charity work.
I wonder if this guy could have made it in the business if he was graduating from Columbia today.
He talks about his hedge fund trader friend who feels "empty" and "trapped" - newsflash from the real world, lots of people feel empty and trapped working their lives away for the system to have more and provide more for their family. Some people like what they do, some do it because it puts food on the table. Are we supposed to pity him because he feels empty but really doesnt have to be working and still does? as opposed to someone who feels empty and has to trudge to work everyday?
It's funny how reflexively people on this site react whenever an article like this gets posted. The guy is a tool, but that doesn't mean he's wrong. A lot of people on Wall Street are addicted to the feeling of making money. That doesn't mean there aren't people who enjoy their jobs and people who enjoy the money they make. But can anyone seriously deny that there are some people on Wall Street who are truly miserable in their jobs and would probably be happier working less and making less but are addicted to the feeling of success. If anything, we should hope they realize this, quit and create job openings.
The point is that if you truly believe this BS, you put your balls on the table and go do something meaningful right away. Not when you have 20m$ and can daydream forever about the meaning of life.
Because by then it just looks like an attention whore used to be the master of the trading floor getting lost in anonimity and trying to grab attention by shitting where he used to eat.
These assholes make wall street look bad.
@"milehigh" : I hear ya. There was an awesome article in the Atlantic last week entitled, "Stop Saying 'Do What You Love. It Devalues Actual Work" and is a pretty strong rebuttal to stuff like this. Mandatory reading.
At the core is a very simple question: "Has anyone who's ever told you 'do what you love' ever have to worry about money?"
Just caught up on that article, great read, thanks for the recommendation. For anyone else interested, I believe it's actually on Slate (not The Atlantic). Google "Do What You Love. It Devalues Actual Work" and it should be the top link. As ITF mentioned, a must read.
Read through the article...interesting read but I have mixed feelings (as usual). I did like this part:
I think what the "Do What You Love" philosophy means though is that whatever work you are doing should be somehow based on something you like/enjoy. It's a pretty simple concept really, and very often we like what we are good at. If you are good at persuading do something sales oriented. If you are artistic do something artistic. That does not mean that you have to be starving or not have a desk job. I think the article greatly oversimplifies the issue although it does make a fair point that there are some jobs that no one can possibly like doing and if everyone followed this philosophy those jobs simply wouldn't be done.
Alright everyone. Let's keep ranting about this author so he can get more free advertising for his new book.
Oh come on IP, we're commenting on an intelligent rebuttal!
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