I feel like a Failure
A day after I visited my target school when I got in, I was in a major car accident. I was in a coma for a month and suffered a traumatic brain injury. What I also did not know at the time was that I had undiagnosed ADHD, which was amplified by the brain injury. My parents told me to take a gap year, but I was confident that I could push through it as long as I took a light course load my first semester and didn't stay on campus. This led me to miss out on most of the freshman year fun, but I also quickly realized even with academic accommodations my academic abilities were no where close to where it used to be. I ended up with a 3.4 GPA right before IB recruiting in sophomore spring, and I did not get a first round at a single bank which I applied to.
The stress of recruiting and my heavier finance course load caused my GPA to sink once again to a 3.3, and I tried in vain to recruit during junior year to once again not get a single first round. One of my family members who runs a hedge fund had told me not to do IB, as he felt I was not a cutthroat person, and I gave up on this dream. I ended up getting a rotational analyst full-time offer at a F15 tech company in possibly their AI Product Management group and their startup accelerator group, but part of me still thinks I'm a failure.
I had worked my ass off to get into my target school, had been studying technicals since day 1, and I dreamed of the friends I would make in the bull pen getting a $25 seamless dinner every night. My friends who had gotten IB SA positions this summer made DOUBLE what I made this summer at the tech company, and they're going to be starting in positions (I'm a senior) where they will be making $30K-$50K more than me all-in starting and will likely be able to move into PE where their earnings will explode. While I could potentially move to a FAANG PM role, I feel like I am an absolute failure for screwing up my GPA at my target school (which my parents paid a great deal of money for) and missing my shot at IB. I don't know how I'm gonna get over this, and I truly wish I had taken a gap year and tried to recover from my brain injury as much as I could. I truly feel like I have failed and I will never forgive myself. Thank you for listening.