A firm where everyone shit talks everyone
The majority of people (analysts, associates & VPs) shit talk everyone. Things they talk about are: calling people weird, dumb, slow, annoying... you get the gist of it.
Seems like a high school to me. Is this normal? I think it’s absolutely childish and unnecessary. Personally couldn’t give a fuck to spend a minute of my day talking about someone else life.
I think it is normal. My firm is the exact same and I have realized that many times ppl say shit about someone, but dont really mean it, its more of a way to express emotion/blame someone without putting themselves in their shoes.
I think its also the professionalism that prevents ppl from being honest with each other, resulting in shit talk behind their backs.
news flash bro. all those people from high school - they graduated too. now instead of banging your mom and giving you wedgies they are calling the shots at your firm and pleasuring the secretaries with their perfect hairlines.
at least that is how i think Mr Perfect Hairline would address this situation
I see what you are asking. The answer is yes, they are all talking about you behind your back, and they notice when you leave early on a Friday too. That long bathroom break you took during lunch hoping no one would notice? Your MD walked by your desk and saw your seat was empty right when he needed you most. "Fucking loser" he muttered to no one in particular. Your bonus is also less than that of your peers and it is directly correlated to your height. Sure sometimes things get tense in the office, but at least on Saturday nights all of the Associates with good hairlines and voluptuous female friends can gather around a table at LAVO and blow off some steam. "Should we invite Jim with the shitty hairline?" one top-bucket associate asks the hot 22-year old secretary. They look at each other and laugh. He finger blasts her under the table and everyone fist bumps.
Ouch, I felt that
Nothing like a little finger blasting under the table at LAVO brunch.
and that is how herpes gets spread around
Lol bro I get you, at first it fucked me up hard hearing them talking shit about everyone but then I realized I can do the same. Now I´m a fucking alpha male who POUNDS his enemies in the ASS!
You guys sound miserable
We sound miserable. Your are miserable.
I think it’s a defense mechanism. I see a lot of shitting on other banks. It’s like “my life sucks but the guy across the street isn’t as prestigious / good as I am”
Yes, this happens everywhere. A case can be made that banking analysts are worst than high schoolers. But then you realize that VPs do that shit too...like do people grow up?
After being in corporate America for 7+ years, HS was a cake walk. Nobody matures, the cliques still exist, etc.
Man, you work in a place where the majority of people your co workers know are your other co workers. These people sit at their desks all day working long hours for things they don't believe in to give to people they often hate. It's a fishbowl, and they feel like robots. If the only thing that keeps them human is gossip, let them have it.
It seems like any place that has high achieving type A people (top HSs, top colleges, hard to get in companies, etc.) has this kind of culture where everyone's shit talking someone. But then again this happens at a lot of unrelated places.
shut up pledge
Yeah, this happens everywhere, not just at banks. Remember when you played sports in high school/college and the locker room was full of dudes talking stupid shit all the time? Well, that is now your office. It's called locker room talk, where boys can be boys. Like it or not, it's here to stay.
It's not normal and is usually a sign of insecurity on their part, it's also a good indicator of a being in a toxic work environment.
Every group talks shit at some point, either on bad 1st years, MBA ASSOCIATES (everyone and anyone adding value on that group), weird VPs, or MDs who bring in shitty deals no one wants to work on. Just don't be that weird guy and you'll be good.
Somewhat normal. Larger firms seem to be better about this, but probably due to their being a larger pool of people to shit on.
All I see on here is that this is 100% normal everwhere... It's not. It happens TO AN EXTENT in any office, but the way you described this sounds toxic. My office definitely isn't like this, and shit talking behind backs puts your on everyone's bad side.
Full disclosure: I don't work in IB, so it might just be a culture thing.
This happens anywhere, and managing your participation in it is a key part of having a good mindset as an analyst. All of us need to vent at times, but if you're in the coffee room or shooting the shit, you should probably have a mental clock in the back of your head that goes off and tells you to get your work done once you've been in the convo for a while.
Also topically, try to not talk about fucking staffings all the time. Like yes, work sucks, but I never got the kids who were obsessed with talking about the next torpedo in the pipeline or whatever. Like if it comes, it comes and it'll suck, why pre-stress and act like it's an interesting topic of conversation? Also, if you're going to complain, complain about process management instead of counting hours. The former probably leads to funnier stories because associates are shitheads and the latter probably won't give you the catharsis or validation you think it will. Similarly, shit-talking about other analysts happens, but if you're going to do it, do it over people being weirdos or awkward or funny, not over dumb shit like facetime.
As for what people are saying about you, idk man, why do you care so much? Like, as long as you're reasonably smart and hard-working and not a weirdo, who cares if people wonder about if you got the best staffings or left early last Friday or whatever? Trust your process
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