I’ve had some personal issues the last few days (Long story short I had a big fight with my significant other). My mind has been so focused on them that I’ve been unable to fully concentrate on work. We work in the type of industry that doesn’t allow for too many days where you’re mind can drift and wonder so I’m looking for any advice. How do you all keep your personal lives from bleeding into your work lives and impacting your ability to do your job?
My job/work use to be my escape place b/c it’s been something that I’m good at and enjoy but this time around things have felt different.
Sorry to hear about this. First of all, this is all normal to feel the way you do. You shouldn't be expected to be a super hero or perfectly stoic. Forgive yourself for having a moment of weakness and let it go. In terms of things you can do that may help, I would suggest exercise and meditation.
Thanks for the advice. I actually just got back from the gym but will give meditating a shot.
You can't do it. The best thing to do is try to optimize for stability around your personal life and that's not always possible.
IE we had an employee commit suicide last week. Threw our middle management team off a bit but that's to be expected. We can't really expect them not to be affected by it and I would be very concerned if they just brushed it off and worked normally...
Agreed and I’m sorry to hear about what happened to your coworker. It sounds like management and employees got a pass for being shaken up b/c everyone was aware of what happened. I don’t want to bring my team into this and tell them I’m going to be off my game a little while I deal with my personal life b/c at the end of the day we all have stuff going on in our lives. WFH has made it easier so far but I still need to figure out a way to get past this.
You can try to compartmentalize as much as possible, but it's unrealistic to think that personal life issues won't affect your work (I find it much easier to keep issues at work from impacting personal life). Hopefully, you are surrounded by supportive colleagues and you can have a short conversation with your manager to explain (you may not want to, but it's what I would do) so that they understand why you are a little off right now. Lastly, I think it's critical to have some outlets for times of personal stress and it doesn't matter what you have, just have something. It can be exercise, reading, video games, whatever, as long as it captures your attention and takes your mind off of problems in your life. My last piece of advice is to consider a therapist, because I have found that often really helps out people that work in stressful environments, especially if you are going through some person things as well. Best of luck.
I’m lucky to be on the team that I am b/c I feel like they would get it and my analyst would be very supportive/understanding. You’re right that talking to them is the best solution and I’ll probably have to if this continues. In the meantime I’m hoping to find a way to get out of my own head and look at life more holistically...maybe a professional is a smart place to start.
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