Anyone care to rip apart my resume?

Since recruiting season is already in full swing, I thought some of you may enjoy relieving some stress by torching my resume for anything that seems out of place... All feedback is appreciated, so please let me know what you guys think.

Thanks, everyone.

EDIT: I have revised my resume using the advice provided below and attached it as a second document to my original post.

Attachment Size
Originally Posted Resume 95.27 KB 95.27 KB
Revised Resume 93.63 KB 93.63 KB
 

Quit referring to yourself directly, I stopped reading and I didn't bother checking for content as a result. Not appropriate for this type of resume/industry.

(Edit* I posted the same time as someone else on the same point. That should be a red flag for you to go back and rewrite everything.)

Format/layout is fine though. Consider separating work and leadership experience from one another, personally I hate seeing them combined but some people don't care either way.

 

I’m personally a big fan of the Context, Action, Result model. For example:

“Performed due diligence on nine software investment opportunities, which involved performing industry research and developing financial models; resulted in management’s decision to perform a $10M acquisition of a field service software company”

This really lets you highlight your skills, and ties those skills to tangible results. The key here is to put the action before the semicolon, and the result afterwards, with action verbs starting each statement.

 
Best Response

Edit: Lol, didn't realized you accidentally bumped this from a year ago. -1 attention to detail by me, guess I'm blackballed by all banks now

I second this. Your bullets aren't specific enough. The closest you come is:

"Management approved the junior board’s plan to raise donations for Children’sHealthcare ofAtlanta from which raised nearly $10,000 for Children’s."

Even then, you need to edit it to something like: "Developed strategic plan by implementing xyz to increase overall donations for the Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta which increased donations by x% compared to x year(s)"

For the rest of your bullet points, it sounds more like you are listing a job posting saying vague responsibilities of what a job may entail. Your bullet: "General accounting duties using excel and QuickBooks" Better example: "Performed financial statement analysis for X firm which identified xyz" "Utilized Excel and Quickbooks to to streamline company financial transactions which led to an increase in effeciency/profit/timesaving/etc."

Beginner Resume Format: **Each bullet should be past tense (unless current job), and should include an verb, the specifics of what you did, and what the result was. **

“I’m not fat. I’m cultivating mass.”
 

I haven't read the content, but just at first glance, it seems very empty to me. Mine has prob 2x more content and 2x smaller margins, and a lot of analysts and connections that work in banking have told me that it looks great. Some users here will prob disagree with this, but I really think you should expand a bit more on your experiences, flesh it out, and use more action verbs, etc.

 

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