11/19/17

Hey guys,

Was just wondering if any one had a success story or where they turned their lives around. For me it was coming from an immigrant family who was bankrupt, coupled with hanging with negative influences. Despite the fact that I haven't achieved all my goals, I have learned a lot about myself, and understand what I want; more important than all the other goals I want such as a high GPA etc.

Comments (27)

11/13/17

Immigrated as young wee lad, lost family was on me own, ran with wrong crowd and all that entails (long list of juvenile offenses), luckily got taken under wing of a good man who helped me kick addictions and distance from my firends who are all dead or jailed, got into uni (barely) not knowing what to do, got into law school, hated law, got told by CEO of leading corporate law firm in my city I shouldnt be a lawyer and to look into finance, loved IB, got into Equity Research and so on into Finance world.

Life is weird. Everyone's story will be different and the way life goes can depend on so many random things. You gotta own it, all the bad and the good, enjoy it. Don't tell yourself you don't have regrets, own the regrets and the pain as its all a part of life and only once you embrace them can you genuinely come to peace with them and solve problems. Work on yourself, your habits, your bigger pic goals (your 'good life'), and the way you think which will determine your actions and results you see. Be very ruthless in filtering people you keep around you and take influence from, people disagree but I firmly believe all friendships/relationships ought to serve a purpose. Seize every opportunity and work hard at it you're bound to get somewhere or have a great life more interesting than that of most. Don't ever be afraid of embarrassment (within reason of course), if everything goes bad there's another new life you could live (I find this is where resilience comes from for me, I bounce back quickly because I'm keen to reflect on the failure/setback, learn something, and to just tackle the next thing, and if all goes to s**t at worst I'm back on the street which really isn't all that bad and there's always the army). Cream always rises to the top.

You may enjoy reading this thread: https://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forums/how-to-heal...
I am highly caffeinated, sleep deprived, and glued to desk currently and this struck a nerve so I had a rant, apologies but I stand by it.

Cass out

Financial Modeling
11/14/17

Incredible story. Your life could literally be a movie.

11/13/17

I went to public school. Hung out with the wrong crowd. I always had ambition but the biggest mistake you make when you're young is not filtering out people. You're not cognizant of time equity and return on time equity spent with people.

A lot of the people I hung out with are low class, single parent family members and losers with 0 goals. Even if they made it to college, it was a no name college.

I was shifted during middle school to a school where the 1% studied. I realized what the good life looked like . To go from hanging out with nobodies to Ivy League class private jet league is another step change.

I realized that I wanted to be a snob and live the snob life and started hanging out with the smarter crowd.

Went to a reputed, not all that, but good enough state school . I haven't got the dream job I desired, but my other life path if I stayed the 13-15 year old me would've meant me being a mechanic or community college graduate.

Today, I'm far from where I want to be, but I maintain a very tight circle. I want to be on the Forbes List and be Chairman of the Board. It's a far cry from a guy who thought saggy pants, rap music, fast food, and tuner cars was the "good life".

D.I.

11/13/17

Just to emphasize, it's extremely important who you spend time with/around.

The amount people influence you is easily underestimated as a lot of it is unconscious. You will notice you mimic those you spend time with/around far more than you think in everything from how you speak and move, yo your motivation, to your ambition, to your narrative in thinking to yourself and perceptions. Think of it like time under tension of muscles when you're working out. The more time under tension you build for a particular movement pattern the more you'll develop those tendons/muscles. The more time you spend around/in the influence of particular people the more you'll develop the characteristics they embody. Everyone is an average of the influence of various people, be very frugal and strict with filtering those around you and those you read or watch online.

11/13/17

dude going to a public ELEMENTARY school, regardless of how shitty it was (wtf is even considered a good elementary school?), probably had little to no impact on your future if you ended going to a wealthy middle school and presumably high school as well.

11/13/17

it wasn't shitty. it's just the group of friends and their lack of high goals.

here's the middle school class composition:
2 fatherless friends
1 son of a plumber
2 sons of back office IT desk guys
2-3 tech workers, of which one was a korean immigrant

this is my high school
grandson of a senator, later went to Columbia
son of a Member of Parliament of a foreign country, worth $100 million. His house is covered by several magazines.
One girl who owns a pharmaceutical empire who later got married to a billionaire's grandson - who went to MIT

trust me - your aim is lower when you hang out with average people. you just settle. I honestly didn't even know anything about private jets. At my high school I first got to know about what kind of private jets even existed ( the models, brands, etcetera). There were 2-3 kids with family members on Wikipedia at my class.

When you hang out with these kind of people - you realize that it starts right in the mind. What you think, you become. When you hang out with rich people, you think about OWNING the career ladder. When you hang out with nobodies, you don't even think about making a million in your life.

D.I.

11/13/17

i get it, but i don't think switching middle schools when you're like 12-13 really makes for much of a turnaround story. i don't think people generally care about what their middle school peers' parents are doing and it really doesn't matter all that much anyway. it's middle school dude.

11/13/17

agreed. but i'm just saying. I was a real doofus in middle school. Like I just didn't care about anything. I was a real dimwit. At that point in my life it would've been a miracle if I even made it to community college.

If it wasn't for hanging out with high flying peers in high school, I'd probably even say yes to working as a chef.

D.I.

11/13/17

What's wrong with being a 3 Michelin star chef?

11/13/17

being a Michelin star chef is still a chef bubba. It's like a golden toilet saying it's a golden toilet. It's still a toilet.

D.I.

11/14/17

Ngl Oligarch, i was seriously considering a career as a chef; loved the intensity and constant striving for perfection on a tangible product. But then was talked out of it for having others consider it the same as a burger flipper at macdonalds for example.

Went to a grammar school 600+ years old; one of the best in the county (UK) straight As too and then it clicked that realistically i would make it with a finance degree (Y)

11/14/17

I can only make scrambled eggs but would much rather be Gordon Ramsay than Gordon Gekko.

11/14/17

Yeah, I don't know.. I feel like a lot of us were probably doofuses in middle school. And just because someone is the son of a plumber, son of a poor immigrant, in a single-parent family, really doesn't say that much about his own ambitions, character, or worth. I think there are definitely benefits to being with high flying peers, as you call them, because you acquire cultural and social capital and what have you, but I've found that poor people are sometimes, although not always, more hungry for success than people who are the sons or daughters of successful people, because they haven't made it yet. Sure, the upper crust is usually more academically talented, partly because of its resources and opportunities, but it does seem like you're kind of glorifying the upper class a bit.

Like I've known several wealthy, connected kids who were complete fucks who literally failed out of my boarding school, and were content to just party in the city and not do much else. Good kids, I liked them as people, but you know, not really as ambitious as you're making these people out to be.

11/16/17

I don't feel that you've grown as much as you think you have.

"Loser terrorists" & "bad hombres"

"Typical candidates are those who attended a reputable academic institution"
-Most job applications

11/16/17
iBankedUp:

I don't feel that you've grown as much as you think you have.

I think he may have pulled a Benjamin Button lol

Monkey see. Monkey Doo [Doo].

11/14/17
oligarch:

it wasn't shitty. it's just the group of friends and their lack of high goals.

here's the middle school class composition:
2 fatherless friends
1 son of a plumber
2 sons of back office IT desk guys
2-3 tech workers, of which one was a korean immigrant

this is my high school
grandson of a senator, later went to Columbia
son of a Member of Parliament of a foreign country, worth $100 million. His house is covered by several magazines.
One girl who owns a pharmaceutical empire who later got married to a billionaire's grandson - who went to MIT

trust me - your aim is lower when you hang out with average people. you just settle. I honestly didn't even know anything about private jets. At my high school I first got to know about what kind of private jets even existed ( the models, brands, etcetera). There were 2-3 kids with family members on Wikipedia at my class.

When you hang out with these kind of people - you realize that it starts right in the mind. What you think, you become. When you hang out with rich people, you think about OWNING the career ladder. When you hang out with nobodies, you don't even think about making a million in your life.

Fitting SN.

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

Best Response
11/14/17

I've hung out with a lot of white trash and spent a good bit of time hanging out in trailer parks and don't regret it for a minute. I learned a lot about the U.S. economy and the consumers and people which represent a large part of our country. Furthermore, a lot of them were good friends and still are today. And that's invaluable to me.

That said, if someone is a bad influence, you shouldn't hang around with them, but people are not better or more informed or more knowledgeable just because they are a part of the jet set. In fact, many of these people are completely fucking clueless.

I'll give you a real life example. I was working on a M&A deal and looking through the salaries of the workers in the data room. I made a comment to my group, "Wow, this company pays really well, $60,000 with healthcare benefits and retirement for a job that basically requires just a high school diploma." My associate made some comment that it was a complete crap salary. This guy who had been in the jet set his whole life, who had attended the most prestigious target schools, who had years of the top business education, didn't even understand what a good salary was for a person living in a small Southern or Midwestern town. People would literally gouge out your eyeballs for a job like that.

His wealth did not make him smart - it actually made him ignorant. This isn't the only case that I've seen on the Street. Some people get so out of touch in a little wealth bubble that they really shouldn't be making investment decisions anymore.

In my opinion, knowing a lot of ordinary normal people is very important to becoming a well-rounded person and businessman. And guess what, a lot of the executives that you'll work with in your IB career, didn't grow up with a silver spoon in their mouth. A lot of them are just some ordinary guy from the middle nowhere...

11/20/17

Well spoken. I couldn't agree more.

Financial Modeling
11/13/17

Yeah, I do.

"Elections are a futures market for stolen property"

11/14/17
Esuric:

Yeah, I do.

Yeah same here

11/14/17

Ever watched Chopped? Every contestant used to have a sob story. I know someone who was on there and the producers tell you to tell a sob story. Just think of something. Some people have a legit to moderate one. But some people have one like, "My dad worked a lot growing up and now I want to win the $10k so I can send him on vacation" or some shit.

Like, look. This is not a sob story nor an unfortunate circumstance. That is life. You haven't turned anything around. You're just a fucking kid. Being an immigrant is a sob story now? Not being born with a silver spoon means turning your life around? You haven't even done anything. Good or bad. Realize you don't know shit and live a little. What inspiration are you even looking for here?

heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

11/14/17

Shh, we're virtue signaling in an echo chamber!

11/16/17

deleted

11/20/17

I used to get bullied and beat up at school, had alcoholics in my family who took advantage of me, lots of family turmoil / drama with my brother who hung around with a bad crowd, had very few friends, never socialized with people because of bullying and teasing, kept to myself and constantly thought about committing suicide, was rejected from every college I applied to, could never find myself an attractive girl... etc. etc.

I am by no means the epitome of success, but shortly thereafter I started taking charge of my life and most importantly changed my perspective about life. I started being optimistic about things, which was a difficult but huge step in the right direction. Began a workout regimen, transferred to a top 20 university, walked onto a collegiate sports team, landed myself an amazing gf, got into IB, and truly opened up my world. I am now 25 and was recently promoted to a vice president at my firm.

I look back on everything that's happened to me and I don't blame anyone else but myself. The greatest atrocity committed against me was of my own doing... I lacked action and took way too long to begin believing in my own abilities.

Along the way my perspective changed about what had happened to me. Less self pity and more realizing that I wouldn't be where I am today had people not done nasty things to me; their actions made me more ambitious to achieve my goals, more competitive to win, and made me very humbled to be where I'm at today. Keep climbing guys!

"A man can convince anyone he's somebody else, but never himself."

11/20/17

^Wow what an amazing story @Keyser Soze 123 . I used to act like a victim for my shortcomings, and always pitying myself for my situations but realized that it doesn't get me anywhere.

Always inspiring to hear someone who has gone through struggles and turned their lives around.

11/20/17

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11/20/17
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