Anything wrong with my CV?

Hey guys,

Thanks for all the advice of my resume. Here is the most updated one:

http://www.razume.com/documents/17633

Again, you guys' help has been extremely important to me. Appreciate it a lot!

I made some revision according to you guys' advice. This is the new version, please provide your valuable advice! This is really important to me and therefore I am particularly grateful for you guys' help!

http://www.razume.com/documents/17610

The original post:
Hey guys,

I need your help urrrrrgently.

I did an internship in a bb this summer and I have a relatively high GPA. However somehow most of my online applications went no where but got rejected... I don't what's wrong with my CV, could you please shed some lights on this??

Please point out what's going on here!!

http://www.razume.com/documents/17595

Thanks!

 
Best Response

A couple of things:

1) Did you bold words in your bullet points? It looks like that from the razume site, and I do not think that is necessary.

2) You developed an investment strategy model? What did it do? Results!

3) In your Management Consultancy internship again you have no results.

4) It looks like there isn't a space between raise and 10000 HKD (attention to detail...)

5) You can remove the objective, personally I think it always sounds strange, especially when you have something like "looking for the greatest opportunity...".

And were you rejected from OCR or from just randomly applying on company websites? Because if you are applying through a bank's website that really won't work. Hope this helps, just my POV I'm sure others will have different advice.

 
theATL:
A couple of things:

1) Did you bold words in your bullet points? It looks like that from the razume site, and I do not think that is necessary.

2) You developed an investment strategy model? What did it do? Results!

3) In your Management Consultancy internship again you have no results.

4) It looks like there isn't a space between raise and 10000 HKD (attention to detail...)

5) You can remove the objective, personally I think it always sounds strange, especially when you have something like "looking for the greatest opportunity...".

And were you rejected from OCR or from just randomly applying on company websites? Because if you are applying through a bank's website that really won't work. Hope this helps, just my POV I'm sure others will have different advice.

This really helps!! I did apply through the bank's website and some of my friends did get interviews through this way. Anyway really thanks for this, and I'll try to revise my resume.

 
HarvardOrBust:
Couple things from my side: - Remove your objective since it's not really relevant with students and can limit your opportunities - You have way too much free space. Maybe it's because of a lack of experience, but regardless you need to make sure that you're filling up white space.

Thanks so much!! I was just concerned that would it be too crowded and user-unfriendly if filling up the white space?

 
HarvardOrBust:
It's more about being able to show what you've accomplished rather than being "user-friendly." You can be user friendly by having consistent formatting and logical bold/italics/indents.

Got it, thanks buddy. So what do you think of the revised version of my resume which I've been pasted above?

 

Maybe it would be apparent based on where you were applying, but as you are a native Mandarin speaker it might be a good idea to put your citizenship.

 

Since there are neither awards nor achievements under the "awards and achievements" header, I would change that to read "Leadership & Activities"

Under Cultural Promotion Team, delete "prestigious" from the first bullet point and edit to have it read "Received visitors from around the world"

Delete the "etc." at the end of Technical Skills and if you insist on listing office here, either capitalize "MS" or write out "Microsoft".

Change the ";" to a "," in between English and Cantonese in Languages

Under your Summer analyst - Equities internship, I would delete the first bullet point all together - it contains no useful information about your role, your skills, or the results you achieved. Honestly, it's not even worth rewording. Just kill it.

Also under your equities internship, change "which has been published and distributed among clients" to "which was published and distributed to clients"

What strategy did your team develop? In what way were you top-ranked? What were the results of your presentation to the equity panel? These are things that you either need to explain some or delete because as it stands, the sentence just leaves me with more questions than answers regarding that project.

You've been working at the management consultancy for 10 years? I'm gonna guess you have the dates wrong

Also, if I'm right and you started in Aug 2010 and not Aug 2000, You should move that internship above your Equities summer analyst position. Your work experience should be in chronological order.

Use the space you cleared up by deleting the first bullet under you equities internship to expand on your management consultancy job.

While you're at it, reword both of your bullets under the MC position. And stop using the word elicited.

Under coursework, change "Advance corporate finance" to "Advanced Corporate Finance"

For your study abroad experience, what "leading" exactly did you do? Did your team complete an academic project? Or did you just go on sight-seeing tours together? If the answer is the former, then expand on it. If the latter, then delete the portion that reads "took the leading role in the multinational team". Regardless of which it is, delete the part that reads "gained multicultural learning experiences".

Change the "Skills" header to read "Languages & Skills"

 
West Coast Monkey:
Since there are neither awards nor achievements under the "awards and achievements" header, I would change that to read "Leadership & Activities"

Under Cultural Promotion Team, delete "prestigious" from the first bullet point and edit to have it read "Received visitors from around the world"

Delete the "etc." at the end of Technical Skills and if you insist on listing office here, either capitalize "MS" or write out "Microsoft".

Change the ";" to a "," in between English and Cantonese in Languages

Under your Summer analyst - Equities internship, I would delete the first bullet point all together - it contains no useful information about your role, your skills, or the results you achieved. Honestly, it's not even worth rewording. Just kill it.

Also under your equities internship, change "which has been published and distributed among clients" to "which was published and distributed to clients"

What strategy did your team develop? In what way were you top-ranked? What were the results of your presentation to the equity panel? These are things that you either need to explain some or delete because as it stands, the sentence just leaves me with more questions than answers regarding that project.

You've been working at the management consultancy for 10 years? I'm gonna guess you have the dates wrong

Also, if I'm right and you started in Aug 2010 and not Aug 2000, You should move that internship above your Equities summer analyst position. Your work experience should be in chronological order.

Use the space you cleared up by deleting the first bullet under you equities internship to expand on your management consultancy job.

While you're at it, reword both of your bullets under the MC position. And stop using the word elicited.

Under coursework, change "Advance corporate finance" to "Advanced Corporate Finance"

For your study abroad experience, what "leading" exactly did you do? Did your team complete an academic project? Or did you just go on sight-seeing tours together? If the answer is the former, then expand on it. If the latter, then delete the portion that reads "took the leading role in the multinational team". Regardless of which it is, delete the part that reads "gained multicultural learning experiences".

Change the "Skills" header to read "Languages & Skills"

I really appreciate your help for this!! Thanks.

 

It looks MUCH better now. Last thing: under education you have listed honors: honor of dean's list. Change this to read "honors: dean's list". Keep the dates, but the way you have it now is just redundant.

Double check that the spacing after bullet points is consistent throughout...it looks like the spacing after the bullets under Cultural Promotion Team might be a bit off from the rest of them, but I can't really tell from the razume link...

Otherwise I'd say it looks good. Good luck during recruiting!

 

Thanks man! One more question here, seems my resume can only target research jobs, but I also applied for some sales and investment banking posts. No response mostly, and I guess I haven't done well in tailoring my resume. But the truth is I did lack banking and sales job experiences though I believe I've got relevant skills. Any advice for this?

 

I don't really have much advice on this specific front, as I'm not too sure of how I'd go about wording your experiences to target banking jobs...

How are you going about with your applications? OCR, through bank websites or through networking?

I ask because I think your experiences can easily be spun into banking-related things when you tell your story (i.e. I was interested in finance, so I took the equities internship and while I learned a lot, I wanted more exposure to different industries, so I thought I'd learn about them through MC. The MC worked great for that, but now I miss the finance side of things and IBD is where I want to be because it combines the best of both worlds...). That being said, I'm not sure you can communicate all that just through your resume. You honestly just need to either tell it in an interview you got through OCR or find a way to tell that to the people you're doing info interviews with.

Hope this helps.

 

My advice - verify what your degree actually is. In my experience, you receive a Bachelor of Arts or Bachelor of Science in Economic and Finance. Not a "Bachelor of Economics and Finance" as you have it. Be sure to check that out.

"Hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard. But if talent works hard, you're fucked. I suggest you get some talent."
 

@West Coast Monkey: I applied mostly on the banks' websites for their graduate programmes. I have done a little bit of networking, but that didn't help much since I have few connections in the banking side. I think your story is the one in my mind too, but I just lack the opportunities to tell it simply because my resume somehow couldn't be picked out. Anyway thanks very much and I will keep trying.

@ThirtyThree: My degree does say like that. It was "created" by my university :)

 

Well, not much I can say to that besides the obvious - applying to bank's websites is almost entirely a waste of your time. Find alumni, people who did the same study abroad program, use profs / linkedin, etc. to find people to cold call / email and meet up for some info interviews! If you're not doing that, you're really not trying....You've gotta get in front of people and tell them your story if you really want to get into IB.

 

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