Are midlife crises even real?
Although the study admits that the findings of a midlife crisis is supported only by a slight decrease in satisfaction by most people's 30s, it's always seemed to me that most people are still enjoying their lives by mid-30s -- some, more than ever. This is purely anecdotal of course, but I always see people commenting about the following finally starting to really flourish or stabilize at this point in their life stages:
1. Career
2. Family life
3. Finances
So where exactly did the "midlife crisis" come from? Have any of you ever experienced it? Obviously all of our lives are different so I find it hard to believe that there's some phenomenon intrinsic in our lives that set off by our mid-30s relating to all of our lives...
Becoming an adult in my 30's has meant I can by one or two ways see my eventual aging and death. Having parents who are 15-20 years away from death and having children which are the yard sticks by which you measure this progression. It's sobering stuff to be honest.
You can still enjoy life, and by my account even more so than any time early. Life is a game, your teens and early 20's are playing it on the easiest level. When you advance you ability to be hit by life increases but your ability to control life also increases and those rewards as well. Kids are great, a lot of work, but the only true great things in life require great effort.
I definitely did not think of this while I was reading the article, thanks for mentioning it. My parents had me when they were older than the age most people in the US would start having children, so it's been a morbid thought for me ever since I was young to estimate what age it will be when I'll have to face this reality.
Real, absolutely real. I think the catch for many is it comes across as such a cliché term in how often it is misused.
When you lose your first parent it can trigger those feelings for sure. Once you are in your 40's and you lose a HS classmate it really can set in. Other things can be your physical abilities. When you first come across something you did in your 20's was a breeze and how it is a big challenge it can set it off.
The mid-life crisis comes from getting to a certain age and realizing that things are not as you wanted them to be. Then people start asking themselves "this is it?" et voila mid-life crisis. There is also a quarter life crisis.
Tell that to the single dude with salt and pepper hair in a early 2000s Ferrari sitting in traffic in the Loop I bike past on my way home now and again.
People realize they've been doing loser shit all their lives and now half their life is over, so that bums them out, but they're still losers with loser mentalities so their dumbass logic tells them to do some hard shit and they think that means buying a Porsche and acting like a douche instead of real hard shit.
GOOD FOR GDP
Actually, with the asset inflation from QE plowing into the collectable market, the most sensible Ferrari to buy right now is either a 360 Modena or a 456. 1980s 308s that run 15 second quarters are going for almost the same money as a nice 360. 412s - you used to be able to buy one for $30k...try $75k+ now and they have THREE FUCKING SPEED auto transmissions. You can get a properly gated manual shift 456 for not much more....
Chief Tecumseh mastered the Mid life / end of life crisis in a poem from the 1800's (not sure if he wrote it) but he is credited with it, and it goes:
*“So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion; respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people. Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide.
Always give a word or a sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend, even a stranger, when in a lonely place. Show respect to all people and grovel to none.
When you arise in the morning give thanks for the food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies only in yourself. Abuse no one and no thing, for abuse turns the wise ones to fools and robs the spirit of its vision.
When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home.”*
A Mid-life crisis occurs for a variety of reasons, all of which I find lead back to personal unhappiness with how you've lived your life until a certain "point." You can avoid it by making active changes in your life that make you proud of yourself. Throw away your inhibitions and fear... ask out the pretty girl... quit the shitty job you hate... get out of your abusive relationship... pick up something you've always wanted to try... Stand up for yourself... Start living YOUR life.
if you work in IB and enjoy your life, you are doing it wrong
One of the very many reasons why I don't have American friends.
Bunch of fucking hacks, except for a few...
Southern people are cooler than northerners, the latter, a bunch of wankers really.
Thx
[[Did I break a record here]]
I've actually heard that part of the mid-life crisis is biological. Modern medicine / technology has allowed us to live much longer than we are supposed to. We get that certain age where historically we were supposed to die and we kinda freak out and don't know what to do.
Older people have generally always had long lifespans (70+ years) its just that people died more often much earlier due to disease we could not treat. That's why when you look back at the avg age over time and how it increases, it is not indicative of increasing general lifespans but a better focus on disease prevention/infant mortality.
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