Are you Happy? What makes you happy?

"Are you happy? What makes you happy?"

An interviewer asked me these last year between more standard fit and technical questions. I was (and still am) pretty damn young, and I'm a bit embarrassed to admit I had never really thought about happiness before. It came as a surprise given the context, which might have been the reason these two questions continue to reverberate for me.

Nothing's tying you down. You're completely free. Are you living as joyfully as possible?

Comments (78)

Aug 20, 2014

I am not happy at all,I am now suffering the consequences of not studying properly in high school and it sucks really bad,now i'm studying really hard in college in Romania but it's irrelevant mostly because there are no internships, jobs, not to mention that a lot of classes are irrelevant(You don't get to choose your classes here).
I am contemplating on starting all over again in the US, but wondering if I will actually be able to land in a good school through Community College and after that a job.

Other then that,I live a decent life compared to many people in this world.

    • 1
Aug 21, 2014
Name Of Profit:

I am not happy at all,I am now suffering the consequences of not studying properly in high school and it sucks really bad,now i'm studying really hard in college in Romania but it's irrelevant mostly because there are no internships, jobs, not to mention that a lot of classes are irrelevant(You don't get to choose your classes here).

I am contemplating on starting all over again in the US, but wondering if I will actually be able to land in a good school through Community College and after that a job.

Other then that,I live a decent life compared to many people in this world.

My cousin is in Serbia and it's a total shitter of there. He's going to study medicine because that's just about the only reasonable thing to do there. Still doctors in Serbia make like 500-1000 USD monthly. Feel for you bro - you will probably not be able to fulfill your ambitions. If you can speak Hungarian you should just run to Budapest and work your balls off. Good luck.

Oct 25, 2017

As long as you're not a gypsy, moving to the States wouldn't be the worst idea.

Otherwise,

Aug 20, 2014

I'm happy

mbavsmfin:

I don't wear watches bro. Because it's always MBA BALLER time!

Aug 20, 2014

what makes me happy? hanging with my friends, golfing, and playing/watching hockey, all of which I am fortunate enough to do very often. there is nothing an hour out on the ice with your friends cant fix, judging from my experiences.

Aug 20, 2014

When I'm face deep in a pair of big ole fun bags and then just for a brief second, I can't breathe. Nirvana, baby.

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Aug 20, 2014
HFer_wannabe:

When I'm face deep in a pair of big ole fun bags and then just for a brief second, I can't breathe. Nirvana, baby.

I've always wanted my cause of death to be asphyxiation caused by an abnormally large set of mammary glands.

Aug 20, 2014
HFer_wannabe:

When I'm face deep in a pair of big ole fun bags and then just for a brief second, I can't breathe. Nirvana, baby.

I thought you were referring to blow until I saw the "pair of".

Work place: most happy when I get to meaningfully contribute. Always feels good to be in the loop and having a strong influence on performance.

Outside: Hard to beat time with family.

Aug 20, 2014

Could be a great combination...thanks for the suggestion!

Aug 20, 2014

Pharrell

    • 1
Aug 20, 2014

Fishing.

Aug 20, 2014

Having fun with my friends, whatever that may be. Doing generally well in life and always having something to look forward to.

Aug 20, 2014

adam carolla talks about striving to be satisfied rather than happy, it's probably on youtube somewhere, worth a listen

WSO's COO (Chief Operating Orangutan) | My Linkedin

Aug 20, 2014
AndyLouis:

adam carolla talks about striving to be satisfied rather than happy, it's probably on youtube somewhere, worth a listen

Spot on. Striving for happiness never leads to happiness. The expectations are too high.

    • 1
Aug 21, 2014

another good one from Colin Cowherd (espn radio), "don't try to be happier than happy" - simple and something i've tried to remind myself of when things are going well

WSO's COO (Chief Operating Orangutan) | My Linkedin

Aug 29, 2014

Funny how that works.. Yet, people who strive to be unhappy, knowingly or otherwise, usually succeed quite well. Maybe its easier to know what makes us unhappy, then being easier to achieve and more often observed. So, if being unhappy is so often identifiable, should we simply strive to not be unhappy? Then this lack of unhappiness would, by default, render a person feeling what is most commonly described as happiness. Is the key to happiness simply a lack of unhappiness, not dissimilar, but somewhat inversely, to the absence of heat resulting in cold?

Wait, what the fuck were we talking about?

Oct 20, 2017

Interesting. I ascribe to the opposite.

Being satisfied means becoming complacent, justifying what you have, therefore not being sufficiently hungry for more. Complacency is the enemy of ambition, the enemy of diligence. You can be happy but completely unsatisfied. n fact I'm only happy when I'm working towards a really ambitious goal, which often means I'm unsatisfied with my current reality and working really hard to change it.

Oct 25, 2017

Well, you're young. Everyone your age thinks the same way and has tons of ambition. Later on most people switch to desiring stability over risk-taking.

Best Response
Aug 20, 2014

Two time cancer survivor, wasn't happy until I realized I'm one lucky monkey. That took a while to accept. Maybe unlucky too... good thing because it keeps me on point.

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Aug 20, 2014

fuckin' right, good for you man. Talk about an experience to keep things in perspective.

Aug 21, 2014
FinanceBrah:

Two time cancer survivor, wasn't happy until I realized I'm one lucky monkey. That took a while to accept. Maybe unlucky too... good thing because it keeps me on point.

One of the ladies that has worked with me for 5 years just turned 50. Three years ago she lost her daughter at age 23 to breast cancer. Her daughter was a single mother, so now my co-worker is both grandmother and mother to a 6 year old girl. We have to somehow discover our happiness in our current circumstances, cause we don't know how long that will be, and who will be around to share that with us. Congrats on beating cancer! If you are ever willing to share more, I'm sure more of us monkeys would appreciate that story (if you haven't already shared it).

And with "Pharrell"... hearing my 4 year old dance around the house singing "Happy" sure does put a smile on my face. Having kids can definitely make you see the good things in life.

Oct 25, 2017

Peer pressure and herd mentality is still about as dumb as it was when you were in grade school. Do you want to spend your twenties in a job requiring extreme commitment just because the people around you wanted to?

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Aug 26, 2014

Thanks for the bananas everyone. I really want to write a WSO success story but I'm waiting until I move from ER to IBD since that was the goal from day one.

Oct 25, 2017

Don't live other people's dream, have your own.
If you want to try banking, identify what exactly suits you through networking and learning more. If you're not sure about the job in banking, don't agonise about it.
Target school students are the most lost souls fooled by banking marketing campaing on their campuses. Use this marketing as a chance to learn instead of being fooled. Stay cool, choose what you'd like to do, go for it because it's your own choice and not someone else thinks it's good.
At the same time, have a look at FMCG sector companies. They have commerce departments doing all the strategy and finance work which is actually very informative and creative, gives lot's of knowledge about companie's operations and management structure.
Don't become desperate about banking. If you're feeling smth negative and doing it under the pressure, take a break and rethink.
I did apply for my internship under the pressure and because everyone did. I didn't regret as I was lucky to get exactly what I liked, research. Some of my peers though got sales/trading and hated it. Others got IB and hated it, left to stock exchanges etc. Others instead love their positions as I did. There's also some a category of people who enjoys the experience because of its prestige and learn loving the "hell" work eventually. I'm not sure how long it lasts though.
Try to understand yourself, therefore. Do you want prestige more than anything else? (meaning you're led by others' opinion too much). Do you really like some particular activities within banking and would love to do it? Do you take it as a strategic step for better oppotunities/exist in the future and would do it even if you don't like it much? Don't be desperate and fooled, though.

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Oct 25, 2017

If you need a job to justify your self-respect, it only shows you have none.
I'm not from a target school but I went into a boutique IB because it gets me the skills I want without sacrificing work-life balance...because I don't think ANYONE loves working 20 hours a day everyday + OT on weekends. People do it for the money or they do it for skills. I could do it physically, but I would also probably be hospitalized in a month. In the end, do what makes you happy, or there really is no point.

Oct 25, 2017

Great advice here esp from Determinista.
I've seen so many people heard into banking/consulting because its a 'thing' at a target school and you get looked down upon if you don't make the cut.
As soon as you graduate things change and so long as you are doing what YOU wanted to do nothing else matters. To answer your question - no - money/prestige etc do not make up for a job you are miserable in.

Oct 25, 2017

When I finished university and started my career, I was working as in Australian Big Law as a tax lawyer, thinking I would become a tax guru imparting tax wisdom. Then I got into M&A advisory and thought I'd be an M&A lifer. I stumbled into IB after being seconded to an IB in Asia and discovered the joys of buy-side. I did 9 years there, became disillusioned (largely because the IB wanted me to originate more and I sucked at origination), so I shifted to credit analysis in the US.

So, I stumbled into a financial career through a lot of luck. Zero peer pressure to make the move, either from my education background or from my peer group (most of my friends are happy in financially less rewarding careers).

At all stages, I've enjoyed the work a lot and have usually been happy. When I have been unhappy, it's usually because I can identify what I am supposed to be doing but can't tick all those boxes (eg failing to originate).

Some reasons why I enjoy it:
- Constantly learning about different businesses, business models, how people have/currently act under the influence of various incentives
- I'm a deal structuring geek and I enjoy structuring and negotiating deals

The money is good, but I'd still do the job for less money eg I took a ~27% cut in post-tax pay when I moved from Asia to US.

One difference in experience vs the typical monkey story is that I came into finance a lateral, so skip the early career finance grind. However, I did do early career legal grind and have done plenty of mid career finance grind.

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Oct 25, 2017

.

Oct 25, 2017

Be realistic. Working at google/fb/etc. would be way more fun then working in IB. However, people who apply for IB positions typically don't have the skills necessary to "succeed" at those types of firms (backoffice). I think it is important to note that within IB you're going to be a revenue generator and the happiness associated with that.

At the end of the day, many people aren't happy doing what they're doing. Where would you rather be unhappy?

Oct 25, 2017
johnsmithv001:

Be realistic. Working at google/fb/etc. would be way more fun then working in IB. However, people who apply for IB positions typically don't have the skills necessary to "succeed" at those types of firms (backoffice). I think it is important to note that within IB you're going to be a revenue generator and the happiness associated with that.

At the end of the day, many people aren't happy doing what they're doing. Where would you rather be unhappy?

Amen.

Aug 20, 2014

"But what is Happiness? It's a moment before you need more happiness.I won't settle for 50% of anything, I want 100%'.

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Aug 21, 2014

I follow the idea of Augustine, that there is momentary happiness and joy, momentary pain and suffering, but inevitably the human experience is one of restlessness and tidal shifts. However, it is this restlessness that keeps us striving for more.

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Oct 19, 2017
The Investment Skier:

I follow the idea of Augustine, that there is momentary happiness and joy, momentary pain and suffering, but inevitably the human experience is one of restlessness and tidal shifts. However, it is this restlessness that keeps us striving for more.

Not quite.

Augustine said "Our hearts are restless till they find rest in Thee."

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

Aug 21, 2014

I've read somewhere that your happiness depends on three things: your circumstances (what you life looks like now, what sort of people do you surround yourself with, can you pay the bills, afford to have fun...), the way you were brought up (what you are used to having, how were you thought to think...), and you genetic predispositions (how your brain works). And this makes sense, at least for me. I would say you need at least two of those to fell happy about your life.
Also I think amount of happiness one feels can have a lot to do with expectations, and that brings back everything that was mentioned above about wanting more and more. I guess it is good to aspire for more, but you have to put your wishes under control. How? If you figure it out, let me know...
My advice, surround yourself with some crazy ass people (in the most positive way), those people spread some really good vibes.

"All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy." - Spike Milligan

Aug 21, 2014

still don't know what it is like to be happy - is it a time period, bunch of moments, presence/absence of certain things in your life, etc.

Aug 21, 2014

Not happy. Happy when I play sports or hang out with close friends, those that I am completely comfortable with, don't have to fill awkward silences or anything, and same type of humor where we laugh almost 24/7. Never felt that in a relationship. Hoes are no substitute for bros.

Aug 21, 2014

Not happy. I'm happy when I'm hanging out with my friends and going on adventures, which I do not get to do often enough.

Aug 21, 2014

Saw a thread on here once (NYC poor door?) with a simple, awesome definition of happiness.

Happiness = reality - expectations.

That will stick with me.

I am (momentarily) happiest (having the most fun) when with friends etc, but I am (overall) happiest (satisfied?) when I'm working towards my goals (whatever they may be, and I have many across all areas). I only set goals that will make me happy and I work towards them (almost) all the time - ergo, I'm pretty dam happy.

That being said, I'm not a computer of a person who is only happy when I'm getting good grades and the jobs I want etc - my goals include things like improving my golf game, training for a triathlon, saving money to buy a bunch of cool stuff, etc. As a result, my days are filled with stuff I enjoy even when I'm "working" and they're even more fun when I'm relaxing.

I also strongly believe the best quality someone can have/the most important thing is gratitude, and I am extremely grateful for my station in life, my girlfriend, family and friends etc. I think approaching everyday life with gratitude will infinitely improve a life. Back to the intro point - my reality is in line with my (current) expectations, and so I am happy. If I were to stop working towards my goals my reality would change, and I would no longer be happy.

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Aug 21, 2014
notthehospitalER:

Saw a thread on here once (NYC poor door?) with a simple, awesome definition of happiness.

Happiness = reality - expectations.

I like that

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Aug 21, 2014

thought about writing a longer post, maybe I will later if people are curious, but aside from being a perennial optimist, reading The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor really helped me out.

Aug 21, 2014

Happiness is something that can't really be defined. Think about it, some people think happiness is the 2 minute high you get from smoking crack, others think it is relaxing on a beach, watching their kids grow up, plowing a hooker, etc. However satisfaction is pretty universal among humans, generally the feeling of completing something you have been working towards. Because this can be defined easier and can be agreed upon by most it is actually achievable.

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays

Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne

    • 1
Aug 21, 2014
heister:

Think about it, some people think happiness is the 2 minute high you get from smoking crack, others think it is relaxing on a beach, watching their kids grow up, plowing a hooker, etc. However....

However, the correct answer here is, "plowing a hooker."

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Aug 21, 2014

Whenever I am in one of my ruts I just remind myself (not in an ignorant way) that I was born as a white male in the US and that I basically hit the life lottery. Another thing I do is always think to myself "it could be worse" and take a step back and realize how meaningless whatever I am upset about really is. I guess this ties in with notthehospitalER's equation of happiness = reality - expectations. I consider myself a very happy person, mainly in part because I have small expectations. That's not to that I settle for mediocrity, but more so that I believe no one owes me a damn thing and that I need to work hard for everything.

Aug 21, 2014
SGsprinks:

Whenever I am in one of my ruts I just remind myself (not in an ignorant way) that I was born as a white male in the US and that I basically hit the life lottery. Another thing I do is always think to myself "it could be worse" and take a step back and realize how meaningless whatever I am upset about really is. I guess this ties in with notthehospitalER's equation of happiness = reality - expectations. I consider myself a very happy person, mainly in part because I have small expectations. That's not to that I settle for mediocrity, but more so that I believe no one owes me a damn thing and that I need to work hard for everything.

Agreed. Anyone who is born in America won the life lottery. White males in America (myself included) have simply won it twice.

    • 1
Aug 21, 2014

And we are playing with house money

Aug 21, 2014

Happiness is in the present. Very few grasp that. Wealth and prestige do not bring happiness. A good friend of mine owns a massive home, 15 exotic cars, and is one miserable person and dislikes his life and all it entails.

I am happy with my choices, decisions, and the peace I have within all that. It took time for me to understand that reaching financial goals was not happiness, just an inner peace and free of worry.

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

Aug 21, 2014

I'm happy. But beyond about $80K (Hoboken PPP), money hasn't made me happier.

Free time has made me happier.

Friends have made me happier.

Outdoor sports have made me happier.

Aug 21, 2014

I'm happy with my life and where they are going.

If I'm ever having a bad day, it gets instantly turned around the moment I walk in the door and my two puppies are jumping on me with the most excitement ever. That is the best moment of their day and it can completely turn around my attitude.

Things that also make me very happy... being out on the hockey rink, doesn't matter if we win or lose, I just love it. And then throwing back some beers with the team in the locker room. Same thing with the soccer field. just minus the beers and locker room.

And back in Michigan if I was ever down or having a rough day, I'd just hop on my motorcycle and go. Time completely by yourself with no distractions and no noise except for BRRAAAAAAAPPPPPPPP. I can't wait to get back on two wheels.

I guess I should probably throw in something about my fiance and blah blah blah but that's just obvious. ;)

Aug 21, 2014

I can promise you one thing: Stuff will not make you happy.

Aug 21, 2014

I disagree.
Fast cars always make me happy.

Aug 21, 2014

I think of happiness as a spectrum, ranging from depression to euphoria with some sort of blase satisfaction in-between. Every moment of life you are along this spectrum, and, when no event (temporary to permanent) sways you in one direction or the other, you remain at a resting point.

One's resting point is a derivative of nature and nurture. Some people are born with a positive disposition, others more negative. Along one's life, events happen which are either temporary (playing golf or staining a favorite shirt) or semi-permanent. Semi-permanent effects resting point and these events vary for everyone; some will remain happier when they have $1 MM in the bank, others when they find a loved one, etc.

Nature, some may argue subconscious nurture, gets in the way though. Having a mentality to 'get it all' will make one unhappy if they only get 98% (the reality-expectations argument). Though thinking about it I suppose that's just personality, which in effect is developed throughout life i.e. nurture.

I don't know where I'm going with this anymore. To answer your question I've given it some thought and I'm an unhappy person (though you'd never know it) but working very hard to find those events to shift my resting point. If anyone has anything to add, by all means.

Aug 21, 2014

Humans are a generally unhappy lot, although I can't really compare it to other sentient beings because I'm still searching for a Vulcan. Sure, activities (golf, sports, base jumping, fucking, whatever), family and kids, money and success, or whatever can bring joy but it all seems temporary. Humanity has filled the void since the beginning of time with religion, alcohol, sex, meditation and probably a whole list of things I can't think of off the top of my head but they're all just an antiseptic to the realization, conscious or not, that existence isn't easy and basically sucks. And we live in the time where existence is the easiest it's ever been. At least saber tooth tigers don't chase us around the bush and the flu most likely won't kill you.

The only people I know that seem genuinely happy, content and satisfied with their lives most or all the time, and not because they came off of an adrenaline high or just shot their load, tend to be pretty fucking dumb people. I had a friend growing up, great guy but he probably had an IQ just above the idiot level, who was constantly happy. I asked him one time how he did it (other than the obvious) and he said when he started getting down he imagined that a parade had just come around the corner composed entirely of midget and clowns. That's how you stay happy all the time: you're an 80 IQ retard and think of height challenged circus freaks.

That's not to say smart people can't be happy but the more intelligent you are the more you are not just going to sit around and be happy and content with the status quo, whatever that status is. You end up contemplating life too often and coming to the conclusion that long term and/or permanent happiness and satisfaction aren't possible. So you end up picking your poison(s) and bury your head into religion in a Nietzschien way of accepting the shittiness that is this life for your eternal bliss of sitting next to St. Peter or boning 72 virgins, hitting the bottle, stoking your adrenaline as often as possible or just shutting your brain off and watching reality TV, in which case you might as well just off yourself. Maybe I'm just a cynical 40 year old though.

That said, my happy day would be playing with my kids and wife, taking a long ride on winding country roads on my 106 ci cruiser, eating a big steak dinner, followed by a great glass of single malt with a hot 25 year old thing fellating me (maybe I'd let my wife do it though). I don't do the religion or tv thing.

    • 3
Aug 21, 2014
Dingdong08:

Humans are a generally unhappy lot, although I can't really compare it to other sentient beings because I'm still searching for a Vulcan. Sure, activities (golf, sports, base jumping, fucking, whatever), family and kids, money and success, or whatever can bring joy but it all seems temporary. Humanity has filled the void since the beginning of time with religion, alcohol, sex, meditation and probably a whole list of things I can't think of off the top of my head but they're all just an antiseptic to the realization, conscious or not, that existence isn't easy and basically sucks. And we live in the time where existence is the easiest it's ever been. At least saber tooth tigers don't chase us around the bush and the flu most likely won't kill you.

The only people I know that seem genuinely happy, content and satisfied with their lives most or all the time, and not because they came off of an adrenaline high or just shot their load, tend to be pretty fucking dumb people. I had a friend growing up, great guy but he probably had an IQ just above the idiot level, who was constantly happy. I asked him one time how he did it (other than the obvious) and he said when he started getting down he imagined that a parade had just come around the corner composed entirely of midget and clowns. That's how you stay happy all the time: you're an 80 IQ retard and think of height challenged circus freaks.

That's not to say smart people can't be happy but the more intelligent you are the more you are not just going to sit around and be happy and content with the status quo, whatever that status is. You end up contemplating life too often and coming to the conclusion that long term and/or permanent happiness and satisfaction aren't possible. So you end up picking your poison(s) and bury your head into religion in a Nietzschien way of accepting the shittiness that is this life for your eternal bliss of sitting next to St. Peter or boning 72 virgins, hitting the bottle, stoking your adrenaline as often as possible or just shutting your brain off and watching reality TV, in which case you might as well just off yourself. Maybe I'm just a cynical 40 year old though.

That said, my happy day would be playing with my kids and wife, taking a long ride on winding country roads on my 106 ci cruiser, eating a big steak dinner, followed by a great glass of single malt with a hot 25 year old thing fellating me (maybe I'd let my wife do it though). I don't do the religion or tv thing.

Two things about this post struck me.

1. A midget clown parade sounds really fucking awesome, to be honest.
2. I can't even tell you what i'd give to have sex with a 25 year old again.

    • 1
Aug 21, 2014

The midget clown thing always makes me laugh. I'm trying to figure out how to do that one day without ending up on the news.

It's been a long time since I had a 25 year old also. That's more of a fantasy.

Aug 26, 2014

I can tell you what you can give to have sex with a 25 year old. .25BB

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays

Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne

Sep 6, 2014
DickFuld:
Dingdong08:

Humans are a generally unhappy lot, although I can't really compare it to other sentient beings because I'm still searching for a Vulcan. Sure, activities (golf, sports, base jumping, fucking, whatever), family and kids, money and success, or whatever can bring joy but it all seems temporary. Humanity has filled the void since the beginning of time with religion, alcohol, sex, meditation and probably a whole list of things I can't think of off the top of my head but they're all just an antiseptic to the realization, conscious or not, that existence isn't easy and basically sucks. And we live in the time where existence is the easiest it's ever been. At least saber tooth tigers don't chase us around the bush and the flu most likely won't kill you.

The only people I know that seem genuinely happy, content and satisfied with their lives most or all the time, and not because they came off of an adrenaline high or just shot their load, tend to be pretty fucking dumb people. I had a friend growing up, great guy but he probably had an IQ just above the idiot level, who was constantly happy. I asked him one time how he did it (other than the obvious) and he said when he started getting down he imagined that a parade had just come around the corner composed entirely of midget and clowns. That's how you stay happy all the time: you're an 80 IQ retard and think of height challenged circus freaks.

That's not to say smart people can't be happy but the more intelligent you are the more you are not just going to sit around and be happy and content with the status quo, whatever that status is. You end up contemplating life too often and coming to the conclusion that long term and/or permanent happiness and satisfaction aren't possible. So you end up picking your poison(s) and bury your head into religion in a Nietzschien way of accepting the shittiness that is this life for your eternal bliss of sitting next to St. Peter or boning 72 virgins, hitting the bottle, stoking your adrenaline as often as possible or just shutting your brain off and watching reality TV, in which case you might as well just off yourself. Maybe I'm just a cynical 40 year old though.

That said, my happy day would be playing with my kids and wife, taking a long ride on winding country roads on my 106 ci cruiser, eating a big steak dinner, followed by a great glass of single malt with a hot 25 year old thing fellating me (maybe I'd let my wife do it though). I don't do the religion or tv thing.

Two things about this post struck me.

1. A midget clown parade sounds really fucking awesome, to be honest.

2. I can't even tell you what i'd give to have sex with a 25 year old again.

...shit. Posts like this make me sad. I just turned 22 and 25 still seems old to me, hell, 22 seems old to me when I see the new crop of freshman girls on campus.

Aug 21, 2014

I'm glad to say that I am, at least for this year. I achieved all of my goals this year: Passed CFA L1, earned an undergraduate degree, and got an offer in ER. But that's only happiness by achievement.

Personally, I'm happy that I am right now living in harmony with my family, my girlfriend, and my friends. My new colleagues are also nice and friendly.

You know what would make this year perfect? If I'm able to save some money to pay for a vacation aboard in another 4 months.

Hope you all live a happy life, now and forever!

Aug 22, 2014

Happiness is a state of being. If you measure happiness with your achievements then you will only be crushed by your mistakes or failures, we are all human. I think this question is trying to ask where you are at in life, whether you know yourself as a person (though you can never KNOW 100%) and most importantly what your values are in life. Happiness can be very simple, I am happy I can breathe, am alive and have taken advantage of every opportunity thrown my way to always make the most of my life and make meaningful contribution

Aug 26, 2014

First time poster here. It is hard to find happiness. It is easy to live relatively comfortable, just lower your expectations, standards and eat your ego. But that is not happiness. The movie "The Pursuit of Happyness" shows this very well. Happiness is about working hard on your goals and getting there, it is to sacrifice instant gratifications for a greater good. But ultimatively, everyone has to define for him or herself what is happiness. For me it is to become and act like the person I want to become. It is not about my materialistic belongings but what my inner qualities are. It is about trusting myself when I say "I can do it!". With an intense personality where I would do anything what I set to mind (and not drift to comfort) I would have no doubt that I would become relatively wealthy in relatively short time. Everyone would given the right personality. But it is not about getting wealthy, it is about winning in life in general. The mixture of many things like relationships, health, wealth, being of value for the society and having a vision under many things are what makes a healthy lifestyle and adds to the long term happiness. But everyone has to balance these things for him/herself and find the "sweet spot", the so called "pareto optimum" which is maybe impossible to find and it might always shift. But the nearer we get, the happier we are. In the book "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" Stephen Covey recommends to evaluate life from time to time. Just to think about where you are, where you want to go and are you still on the right direction? I am doing this for years and also can recommend it. It is not until you are 100% convinced that you are headed in the right direction that you will work with 100% efficiency.

Aug 26, 2014
CyberneticAlpha:

First time poster here. It is hard to find happiness. It is easy to live relatively comfortable, just lower your expectations, standards and eat your ego. But that is not happiness. The movie "The Pursuit of Happyness" shows this very well. Happiness is about working hard on your goals and getting there, it is to sacrifice instant gratifications for a greater good. But ultimatively, everyone has to define for him or herself what is happiness. For me it is to become and act like the person I want to become. It is not about my materialistic belongings but what my inner qualities are. It is about trusting myself when I say "I can do it!". With an intense personality where I would do anything what I set to mind (and not drift to comfort) I would have no doubt that I would become relatively wealthy in relatively short time. Everyone would given the right personality. But it is not about getting wealthy, it is about winning in life in general. The mixture of many things like relationships, health, wealth, being of value for the society and having a vision under many things are what makes a healthy lifestyle and adds to the long term happiness. But everyone has to balance these things for him/herself and find the "sweet spot", the so called "pareto optimum" which is maybe impossible to find and it might always shift. But the nearer we get, the happier we are. In the book "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" Stephen Covey recommends to evaluate life from time to time. Just to think about where you are, where you want to go and are you still on the right direction? I am doing this for years and also can recommend it. It is not until you are 100% convinced that you are headed in the right direction that you will work with 100% efficiency.

This, to me, is by far the worst post in this thread and the exact thinking that leads so many type A high achievers to be unhappy.

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Aug 26, 2014
AllDay_028:
CyberneticAlpha:

First time poster here. It is hard to find happiness. It is easy to live relatively comfortable, just lower your expectations, standards and eat your ego. But that is not happiness. The movie "The Pursuit of Happyness" shows this very well. Happiness is about working hard on your goals and getting there, it is to sacrifice instant gratifications for a greater good. But ultimatively, everyone has to define for him or herself what is happiness. For me it is to become and act like the person I want to become. It is not about my materialistic belongings but what my inner qualities are. It is about trusting myself when I say "I can do it!". With an intense personality where I would do anything what I set to mind (and not drift to comfort) I would have no doubt that I would become relatively wealthy in relatively short time. Everyone would given the right personality. But it is not about getting wealthy, it is about winning in life in general. The mixture of many things like relationships, health, wealth, being of value for the society and having a vision under many things are what makes a healthy lifestyle and adds to the long term happiness. But everyone has to balance these things for him/herself and find the "sweet spot", the so called "pareto optimum" which is maybe impossible to find and it might always shift. But the nearer we get, the happier we are. In the book "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" Stephen Covey recommends to evaluate life from time to time. Just to think about where you are, where you want to go and are you still on the right direction? I am doing this for years and also can recommend it. It is not until you are 100% convinced that you are headed in the right direction that you will work with 100% efficiency.

This, to me, is by far the worst post in this thread and the exact thinking that leads so many type A high achievers to be unhappy.

100% agree.

Aug 26, 2014

I read your post and I don't really know where we disagree. However I have to say that the moment I sit back and appreciate what I have I get lazy, because then I have no incentive to strive for more. So this appreciation thing is a two-edged sword. It's like withdrawing you happiness deposit, and I would use the withdrawing option only on "rainy days" (when I experience some hardship). I realize the fact that I'm alive, healthy, have a fairly good amount of friends and opportunities. Life is good.

Aug 26, 2014

Fooooood and a good lay. So yep, very happy.

Aug 26, 2014

"All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone."

- Blaise Pascal

edit: see avatar for guidance

Sep 2, 2014

I've got it pretty damn good. Good job I hate some aspects of it and wish I wasn't always plugged in, good income from investments, modest vacation home, awesome primary home, decent time off though I wish I had more (is there ever enough time off?), great food, hot younger wife that cooks, cleans, does everything and is good to go 24/7, tight knit big family (her side). I can't sing for shit and wish I had a more active lifestyle with respect to cycling, climbing, skiing etc. I'm lucky if I get to go skiing twice a year. But you can't have it all.

My only advice is to go for foreign women, work your ass off and to only compare yourself to your past self. No good can come from comparing yourself to others. If you want something in this life you have to go get it, fortunately for you, you were born in a country where that is possible.

Dec 21, 2014

delete

Sep 3, 2014

BTW what kind of bullshit question is, "Are you happy?", happiness is more of a state of mind than anything else. The lack of it in this country is all too often a sign of privilege and ignorance IMNSHO.

Sep 6, 2014

Going Concern's Brady4MVP quote.

Matrick:

[in reply to Tony Snark"]

Why aren't you blogging for WSO and become the date doctor for WSO? There seems to be demand.

BatMasterson:

[in reply to Tony Snark's dating tip]

Sensible advice.

Oct 18, 2017
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Oct 25, 2017