Taking a quick look:

  • Spell utilized correctly

  • AI not Ai

  • Spell out numbers under 10

  • Potential acquisition candidates is repetitive

  • Be consistent with how you refer to things billions/bn

  • You need to reword a lot of your bullets there is no flow to them

  • Also some of your bullets just don't seem believable. I for one doubt you helped a VP come up with an investment thesis for an entire fund. GPs formulate fund wide strategies, not interns (I'd call bull in an interview)

 

Cheers for the feedback. Yeah I don't mean to say I helped him come up or formulate, I did a lot research work to substantiate his ideas and also created the investor presentation he will use using fund IIIs format. The entire fund is $1 bn and will invest in multiple sectors, only a % will go to cp and to india which is what i focussed on. Is using "composition" misleading?

 

Are you looking to apply to IBD? If so remove Trading society. Also scrap certifications and add languages that you speak.

I wouldn’t say 5bn under assets. I would either say 5bn assets or 5bn AUM.

There are some typos - ie its either during A roadshow or during roadshows. But during roadshow makes no sense. In the same sentence you are also missing 2 ‘the’. Already fix that all over your CV and lets see what it looks like.

 

Yes I will be recruiting for IB On my CV I have just mentioned the firm's name, they're a strong player in south east asia. I added 5bn for context here, do you recommend I add 5bn AUM on CV too?

Is this correct now - * Assisted a Vice President in the composition of an investment thesis pitch deck on the consumer products sector for investor presentation during roadshows for Fund IV (Target size – $1 bn)

Also, should I cap the first letter of the sectors make it Consumer Products Sector and so on?

 

In the future better anonymize your unis. Can tell which ones you went to by the groupings. Especially obvious with the MSc.

What was your gmat btw?

 

Obviously I don't care, but given he did anonymize it I'm taking it that he cares at least somewhat.

 
  • Remove predicted honours under the MSc, not really necessary as won't have started the degree at the time of application
  • I think some HR tick boxers will expect to see your IB Diploma subjects
  • Past tense for the newsletter entry (even though its ongoing)
  • Under the newsletter the dash on the first entry is the wrong size
  • I wouldn't bother with the certifications, as they don't really add anything, and you don't really want an interviewer asking you "what does xx do in excel?"
  • Agree with the points other commenters have made

Also not sure why some people on this website are obsessed with trying to find the person who has posted their resume, rather than giving them constructive feedback? Regardless, all undergrad/postgrad groupings are broadly regarded in the same light

 
Most Helpful
  • Still need to list out every IB Diploma subject
  • The 3rd bullet point under the PE Fund "created a company profile on each." To me, it doesn't make sense to put a full stop there - maybe you could write "created a company profile on each (XXXX is currently in negotiations with one)" or similar
  • Fintech start up - improved not improve.
  • Newsletter - that's not the correct use of the semi-colon. Either change enabling to enabled, or replace the semi-colon with a comma
  • Student Ambassador - again, to me it just looks weird to use full stops in a bullet
  • The gaps between your entries are not consistent - e.g. the distance between your high school and undergrad is smaller than the distance between your undergrad and postgrad (might seem like a minor thing, but aligning stuff in powerpoint is a big part of being an IB Analyst)

It's definitely getting there

 

I concur with all of the advice you received above. I would suggest replacing your "Extra-Curricular & Leadership" header with simply "Leadership". Writing "Predicted Honors: Pending" seems odd and doesn't add significant value in my opinion (though this may be the convention across Europe and if so leave it). I would also recommend expanding on your mentorship role as it currently is only one line in length and throws off the balance of the page, especially with other engagements being at least two in length and your roles being placed adjacent to the company names rather than below (understand you likely did this to save space).

Array
 

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