Attention to Detial Is Overrated
Welcome to The Street
Every single day you work on Wall Street you develop an obsessive compulsive disorder for formatting errors, grammar errors, periods at the ends of bullets… etc.
You start to become that Psycho VP or that “Managing Associate” you have always hated since day one. It is a slow process. You don’t notice it until one day it happens.
It happened to me. It will happen to you.
The event: You walk into a restaurant ordering up some sort of sushi so you can pretend you’re living a healthy lifestyle on the company’s dime (ignoring dem dere 100+ hour work weeks mind you) and you see it…
A typo on the menu.
You: “Man this place is hilarious there is a typo right here! I see it man you guys catch this?”
(the dinner group goes silent)
Them: “Dude you’re looking for typos on a Menu at the sushi joint. Who are you [insert psycho VP])”
You: (place head in hands and realize you’ve succumbed… you would sob but they are really just eye drops from the previous all nighter)
You’re about to jump off the 27th floor of the building (of course that one slightly more prestigious bank is on the 29th floor) and if you are lucky you come to an important realization. You realize attention to detail otherwise known as ATD also known as OCD and depression doesn’t really matter that much.
You know what matters? The art of the ghetto.
The Ghetto: You’re laughing at this thinking that it can’t be serious… but it will save your career many times. You know what separates that middle tier analyst/associate from the Top Tier? The ability to ghetto a model, ghetto a presentation or ghetto last second changes and make them appear correct! As you know perception is reality on Wall Street.
For those that have not had their first fire drill… take out your iPad Mini Retina display with flappybird installed and jot down the following bullets:
Excel with the White Cell… Ghetto: So your client wants a “quick edit” to the model we all know this means you have to respond in 4.767189 seconds or else your VP is going to be pissed. You can quickly ghetto the model by using white font in the excel spread sheet to run calculations. Insert the quick change and flip it to the VP for review… give them a print out… meanwhile over in your cube you are secretly correcting the documents during review time.
Cardboard Box Ghetto Oh so your client wants to quickly hide pieces of the presentation. Open that Power Point presentation and do the following “Alt + I + X” followed by “Right Click + R + T”. This process can also be called “Alt-R-IT” (say that last one out loud as a single word).
Now you have a moving box to cover up any last second issues on the page. IE: move this shady text box around to cover up both errors and parts of the presentation by bringing it to the front. Don’t forget to hold down CTRL+Shift to make sure you’re moving the box perfectly horizontal or vertically. Repeat the process of “turning the document quickly” and secretly fixing it on your end.
**Pro Tip** PDF versions usually move the box up and to the right slightly so make sure when you cover up some ridiculous formatting error like an extra $ sign in the top left of the chart that you adjust the 0.001 inches to make it work. This may just be a dated hardware issue so find out the issues with your computer in advance.
Gang Line Ghetto… Word Similar to the text box white ghetto the biggest SOB in the world is the border issues on a word document/presentation made in word.
FML.
Get used to clicking Alt + I + P + A… and we are not talking about IPA beers here man. You can grab any sort of quick line to make it seem like you were a good peon and correctly messed with each border appropriately. Slot them all in and proceed as usual (fixing it on the DL while in review process).
Fire Drill Gentrification Well we’ll probably catch some heat for the phrase gentrification but remember we’re trying to clean up all the ghetto we made before the turn comes in.
- For excel your smooth move is F5 go to special select objects … Delete. We all know that was some serious ghetto you just pulled off
- In addition, if you had a lot of white cell secrets in there… highlight the trick cells (usually on the right side of the model) and go back to F5 go to special … select constants
- For word documents select one of your objects and click TAB to get to the fake ones
- For Powerpoint you can simply drag and grab… a rare time when using a mouse usually doesn’t matter too much
The After Math One day you eventually get promoted and you are one of those VPs correcting the work. You’re gonna catch some ghetto in one of those presentations.
You: “Dude this is a text box and white cell man can you fix this before the next presentation we’re gonna reuse this a lot”
Disgruntled Analyst: “Ahh okay ya sorry about that, just thought the presentation was done”
You: “I know good work on the speed but… we need to make sure all the files are clean in case there are edits”
Disgruntled Analyst (seems to be upset with you)
You: “I’m not being mean… I’m living the dream”
*** How about you Star Analysts and Associates? What are your secret ghettos?
I know it was intentional, but the title gave me an aneurysm.
Hahahaha maybe you're in the realization phase?
This is one of the best posts on WSO. I have no idea what moron threw MS at you, the white box trick alone has literally saved me days of reformatting work.
Haha keeping it real out there you guys gotta have some other tricks up your sleeves though.
How about this one for "hand spreading comps"
You simply take the diluted stub (off the 8-k) and then add about 5% if the stock is up.
That is your "options table"....
Let's see how shady you guys can get...
Killed it with the sushi joint example
What kind of a finance person makes tyos ?! Doesn't deserve the job clearly...
The shape/box cover-up is a classic
Until that one time you find a really elaborate coverup needed and you realise you've spent more time creating a crazy white box than it would have take to actually fix it....
Great post!
This is fantastic on so many levels.
Haha, I largely agree with the OP, but I will point out one thing that wasn't quite mentioned. You can only really safely "ghetto" when you've first learned to do it absolutely correctly. Need to understand the rules and why they exist before you can break them. "Ghettoing" without previously attaining full command of all details is like trying to cartwheel on a tightrope...you're going to fall.
Damn bro.
So you're saying we should practice the art of the ghetto before we even begin the process of ghettoing it to save time...
Waiting on that post my man.
I see you over there. Practicing your right click bring to front while those average analysts are busy correctly spreading comps.
You sir are a genius!
Huh? I think you completely misinterpreted what I said, kind of odd. Oh well.
Relax
I'm not from the US. Are ghettos and "packing heat" things which Wall Street bankers commonly have first, second or even third hand experience with?
Just using slang terms.
Ghetto in the USA generally means "a crappy neighborhood". Ie you are making the presentation unclean to save your own ass.
Packing heat is also just slang and a joke meaning if you're going to ghetto the presentation, you better know how to fire a gun so to speak.
Finally, hell no. Bankers don't go to the ghetto. Unless you were on the twitter IPO.
My God, it's beautiful! An informational and thoroughly entertaining post.
Cool !
Yes, indeed. Agree 100% with the original statement. The buyer won't bite because of a fantastic presentation or Excel models. The numbers do have to be satisfactory, but who's selling that deal is also very important. It's a relationship business. There is a huge difference between Goldman marketing say stock or debt issuance and some boutique doing the same thing. Just like everything else in this world, the name or the reputation of the firm is hugely important.
If the restaurant have typos, I distrust on the food. Nice post.
haha great tips!
OP, detail is misspelled in the title - Attention to Detial Is Overrated
Man, nothing gets past you...
Hahaha
This is similar to those #awkward moments when you're laughing in a group but in reality are on only laughing because everyone else is.
Quasi voluptas inventore ut aut. Voluptatibus ut animi culpa labore temporibus quaerat. Atque a et dignissimos.
Sit aut quo et. Minima ad et consequatur dicta non cupiditate et. Eos voluptatibus ea enim reprehenderit aliquid maiores. Ea esse qui voluptas dolores eveniet. Quod assumenda et optio nam modi. Adipisci error consequatur quasi nostrum minus natus maiores.
Hic dolores error sed eum perferendis. Corporis qui molestiae est earum ad sunt exercitationem.
Occaecati repellendus nulla debitis corporis ut hic. Esse culpa quasi cupiditate voluptatem. Aut porro impedit laborum dignissimos tempore qui repudiandae. Aperiam et at quidem iure rerum veritatis omnis.
See All Comments - 100% Free
WSO depends on everyone being able to pitch in when they know something. Unlock with your email and get bonus: 6 financial modeling lessons free ($199 value)
or Unlock with your social account...
Quia enim et vel aspernatur ad cupiditate. Assumenda itaque vero distinctio est natus quod. Ducimus eius et nostrum ab omnis omnis officia. Quia pariatur et aspernatur ut.
Nihil repellat veritatis exercitationem eius. Qui et accusantium excepturi eos consectetur qui nihil consectetur. Qui repellat blanditiis necessitatibus quod distinctio sunt est.
Illum in reiciendis et ut ducimus deserunt earum. Eos unde id aut. Eligendi earum magni rerum fuga unde eos. Qui sed aut minus eveniet doloribus. Qui amet est et quasi labore et nulla sequi. Officiis quis eveniet a autem pariatur et reprehenderit qui.