Based only on experience, do you recommend using dating apps? If yes, which one do you choose?

Currently a student & working full-time. I'll finish up my internship next week so lots of free time to do something fun. Bars aren't cutting it for me, shitty places with hostile people all over.

I've been lurking around this forum for a long time, I've seen advice from the brofessor and others on here that I adapted to my life, so I think I'm minimally good to go. Fretting about getting ghosted and ignored ofc but quitters can't be winners.

Do you think dating apps are worth it? Which one do you recommend?

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Comments (45)

Jan 12, 2022 - 8:51am

hell yea.

Use Hinge. Tinder is/was dead in every city and only filled with community college trash. So unless you want to hook up with a single mother of 2 who moonlights as a waffle house waitress, get off Tinder.

The dating app validation from hundreds of chicks sending you messages is a pretty nice high

Jan 12, 2022 - 8:54am

I keep hearing that but there's a significant portion on the other side that claim all they get on dating apps is dead silence. What's with this contrast? Are they just terrible men?

Jan 12, 2022 - 9:17am

Those guys, and it is the vast majority (80%+) of men, fall into two camps when it comes to dating apps:

1. "terrible" men. Guys that dont pass the sniff test. In bad shape, losers, just weird, etc.Β 

and

2. Guys that dont know how to sell themselves. Most guys fall in this camp. They are otherwise fine dudes but just dont know how women work. Dont know what appeals to them, dont know how to talk to them/flirt with them (in a way that builds attraction), dont know how to build a profile

Fortunately most guys fall in group 2

Jan 12, 2022 - 1:04pm

TinderΒ 

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

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Jan 12, 2022 - 2:10pm

What kind of bars are you going to that are "filled with hostile people"? I'd like to think I have most of the green flags girls look for, and I've used Hinge for over a year in two major cities. With that said, I haven't had much success with it other than hookups that I tend to cut off soon after. I've had the most success with just going out with a big group of friends (guys and girls), and meeting new girls that someone invited out. I think the "hostile bar" thing is because you're in college still. I haven't felt that as a mid-20s in the cities I've lived in.

Jan 12, 2022 - 2:20pm

Yes technically you're right. I'm in western Europe, all the bars I go to are packed with students. It's not like I'm a deformed person, I have a great body but I tend to be overdressed so it's not shown. Also poor so not fancy clothes. Girls are hostile to loners, and now I fully recognise I have no fucking business going to a bar alone lol. I'm not that fluent in the local language either so stutters discourage me. Yeah girls find that creepy. I'm hoping this would change when I start working next summer though

Biggest issue is that not that tall, I'm only 177cm (I guess it's 5'9" but not precisely sure).

Jan 12, 2022 - 2:28pm

In my non-professional opinion, and judging from this comment and what you chose as your username, I'm going to guess that you lack confidence/are insecure, which is going to hurt your chances with girls no matter what you look like or how you talk. Figure out what boosts your confidence and make an effort to put time into those things. For me, as a decent looking and in-shape guy, I still get insecure at times, but I feel much more confident when I workout consistently, have a fresh haircut, and wear clothes that I like. Find the recipe that works for you and then just focus on hanging out with friends. Girls are attracted to a guy that is confident with himself. As a side tip, I saw a girl that had a prompt on Hinge that said she's new to the city and just looking for fun friends. I actually respected that and invited her out. Maybe you can do the same and look for friends that speak your first language.Β 

Most Helpful
Jan 12, 2022 - 4:02pm

I do not recommend apps. They are more effort than they seem. First you have to have a good profile to get matches. Of the matches you get, x% won't even respond. Then another x% won't keep conversation, another x% won't want to meet up, etc. So when you run the numbers on # of matches > converting to a date, it's not a great %. Then in my experience dates are just kind of "meh" from the apps because it is ultimately two complete strangers meeting and seeing if it's a good fit. I'm not saying the apps don't work, I've met some decent chicks on them and moved around a bit so I did rely on them at one point, but I have probably put in too much effort. If I instead focused this effort on meeting women through activities (gym, bars) and through friends of friends, I think I would be a lot happier with my outcomes.

Also, I find that the high quality women aren't on the apps. How many hot girls that you went to college/high school with have been on a Tinder date? Probably not that many of them. No girl wants to meet her boyfriend/husband on the apps. However since you asked which apps - I would recommend Hinge if you are dead set on making an account. Pay up for premium for efficiency as well.Β 

TLDR - meeting chicks in person is way better. Focus on activities / friends of friends

Jan 12, 2022 - 4:41pm

Yes, for two reasons:

1. You talk to girls during time you'd otherwise spend jerking off, watching TV, playing video games.Β  It's not gonna get in the way of you meeting girls irl

2. Matching means you are mutually attracted to each other, and within a few messages you can discuss what type of relationship you're looking for and so forth.Β  This saves a lot of time.

3. You meet people outside your usual circles.Β Β 

Jan 12, 2022 - 5:48pm

Personally I think they're very worth it, caveat that they only work in major cities (NYC/LA/London are all great)

I've gotten the vast majority of my dates from hinge + bumble for the past 5 years post college. probably average 26 first dates per year.

Before you say it clearly doesnt work for relationships, thats more about me moving all the time for work.

Don't know what guys who "get no matches" are talking about. I probably average 7 matches per week. I'm pretty overweight so I'm definitely no male model, altho I am white, 5'11", pretty good face aside from the chub. You do need to: 1. have a cute dog/cat pic 2. have a friend take quality pics for the whole profile 3. write a long bio aimed at women (highlight interest in things women like, maintain an upbeat mildly humorous tone)

Jan 12, 2022 - 6:37pm

I like pussy cats too.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

Jan 12, 2022 - 7:01pm

I have used Bumble, Hinge, and Tinder since 2017 and have probably over 1k matches across all platforms. I no longer am on dating apps because I'm trying not to be a hoe anymore but would easily put my profile up against anyone else on here.

First off, no selfies. Have high quality pictures of you doing interesting shit. Make sure you have at least one picture of you by yourself. If you have friends in your pictures, make sure you are the tallest and most attractive.

If you want to include any shirtless pics like you at the beach (when else would you be shirtless unless if you're a fucking twat), make sure you are shredded. If you don't have visible abs, keep the clothes on.

Have at least 5 or more pics. You can have sunglasses on in 1 or 2, but not all. Do not over-edit pics. All I did was turn up the saturation like 3 notches in iPhone photos on mine.

If you are above 6', put it in your bio. My bio was the following:

university 'xx | 6'2"

funny quote from kids movie

When conversing with a match, get off the app as quick as possible. This doesn't mean ask for the number after 2 or 3 messages - feel out the convo, and at the earliest opportunity to steer it to a number, do it. In college I would just add the snap and then snap, but I don't use snap or social media anymore so it was strictly phone numbers the past 2 years. I'd usually send my number and say "text me". If they text me, sweet. If not, so be it.

You gotta learn to not care. A date with a random girl should be extremely low on your priority list. As lil Wayne (I think) once said, "Don't put the pussy on a pedestal".

These dating apps are all owned by the same company - in college I never paid and averaged around a match every 5 swipes/likes. Recently when using the apps, I found I wasn't getting many matches, but had 99+ (Tinder) and 50+ (bumble) likes. I paid for tinder premium and will say it's 100% worth it. Was able to have fun with 15 or so girls that were actually hot (college grads who had actual jobs). Never paid for bumble or hinge.

I found Hinge to be great because my profile would get upgraded for free, but in the last year or so they did away with that. Bumble always said I had 50+ likes, but even when I matched with girls they would just let the time expire. Was around 70 or so bumble matches after a couple weeks using it last fall.

If you aren't paying for premium, just delete and remake your account after you run through all the girls within 20 miles or so. I really didn't swipe after a couple weeks because by then I'd have enough girls to occupy my time with.

The fact of the matter is that dating apps are all about physical attractiveness. 99% of girls who swipe on you either want attention or to fuck you, and they won't want attention from you if they don't want to fuck you. Nothing wrong with this - just know going in that these are hookup apps. It's a game, and like any game, practice makes perfect.

Jan 12, 2022 - 7:22pm

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Jan 12, 2022 - 7:22pm

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