Being a gay trader
Hi there
I am a incoming analyst to a BB in NYC from an Ivy school. I am gay and open about it at school, but i am not sure what i am going to do about it when i start working. I really don't want to go back to the closet but am worried about it affecting my career. I really love this industry and wouldn't want anything to stay in my way of getting ahead. I noticed that people normally dont ask personal questions on the trading floor but my peers might. i am not sure if I should be honest with them when they ask me or just imply that I am straight. Most of my friends from school know so i would come off as dishonest if someone found out through my classmates.
I would appreciate any advice on how i should position myself for the incoming year and any color on how the street view gay traders. I could really use some advice. Please inbox me! Thanks
I don't think anyone will care as long as you're not coming in to work wearing a belly shirt and yelling "HAYYYY GURL" at everyone.
Don't apologize for who you are.
This is ridiculous. Keep good company and keep what you want private, private.
I'm not gay but I have more than a few friends and family who are gay and have worked with LGB's (no T's) and it doesn't matter. This isn't the 50's or even the 80's and you're almost certainly going to be in a major east or west coast liberal city so it won't matter to almost everyone. I'm sure there will be one or two prejudiced asses but by and large it won't matter and I highly doubt you'll be the only gay guy on the floor anyway. I wouldn't wear your pride parade shirt just like I wouldn't wear a "I'm so hetero I went to a titty bar" shirt. And companies have such strict HR policies that if anything were said that person would be in deep shit.
Don't introduce yourself and say you're gay right off the bat but when it comes up just be matter of fact and tell the truth like it's not a big deal. Because it isn't.
great advice! thanks!
yea, i mean be happy you can hide it, in the event someone would judge you for it. There are certain things ppl cant hide and are reflexively judged
like you may not have a choice to be gay but you do have a choice of making ppl aware. lot of undercover gays married to the opposite sex in the industry anyway, so you'll be just fine
I would make sure my voice is "normal". I know it's 2014 but talking a certain way can truly hurt your chances of advancement. I hope it doesn't come off as homophobic either!
I highly doubt anyone will care as long as you aren't shoving it in anyone's face.
What 'it' are we talking about here?
Ahhh, I see what you did there.
Was hoping somebody got that. WSO never disappoints me.
Pre OB comment, don't take peers into toilet for a quicky and you're good. Lile someone had said, don't scream out hey girlllllll over the hoot
Did you go to Yale by any chance?
You're a gay trader? That's mostly physical trading, right?
Kidding... I honestly doubt it will even come up in conversations while at work. Definitely will come up here and there during after work drinks, but probably no different then what you've had to deal with in the past.. People curious wanting to understand something that is foreign to them
Mostly physical and sometime electronic. :P
Just don't be like a crossfit or vegan person. For some reason, people who do crossfit or are vegan have a need to talk about it to no end.
This comment isn't really related to your post. I just needed to voice my anger.
Heres what not to do OP.
//www.youtube.com/embed/e3h6es6zh1c
Annnnd... 3/4 of the comments here are homophobic. Yeeesh. If you have to ask, or it has a punchline, it probably is.
I'd love for you to point out where fully 75% of the comments are homophobic...I'll wait.
You're a diversity hire, they literally can't fire you. Go Bulldogs.
I Lol'ed
No one is afraid of homosexuals. And none of these comments are disparaging toward gay individuals.
No one will care. Just keep personal life out of work. Pretty simple.
OP, don't be ashamed of who you are. Think of it this way...nobody really has a reason to bring up their sexual preferences per se, but if the question comes up, just answer it briefly and confidently. Trying not to sound like an ass - basically, just act like a normal person. Nobody will care about your sexual preferences, they'll care about your work, and your personalty. Just like everyone else. So, honestly, if you have those two things nailed down, you should be just fine. Good luck.
thanks man!
No problem. Let us know how it turns out.
Most traders are uber relaxed and down to earth and, furthermore, the markets don't care about where you went to school or what prestige you have never mind what your sexual orientation is-- probably one of the most merito ratic environments in finance. Get em
Gay SA on the Trading Floor (Originally Posted: 06/06/2009)
I am going to be interning within S&T at a BB. Think BOA-ML/JPM/Barclays. So yeah, I am gay and was wondering whether I should come out to people I'll be working with? I am not one of those flamboyant gays and no one can make out after talking to me that I am gay. However if someone asks me about it I don't lie. So if I come out to them, will I be harming my chances of a FT offer, because from what I have heard/read, trading floors are alpha male environments and I'll become kind of an outcast. Are my fears unfounded?
Same position but in ibd.
could be tough in these alpha male environment for these guys. as there are often jokes made about gays etc used in daily banter, so may create a problem.
I for one though sincerely hope this does not effect your chances. I so think it is quite unlikeoly it will though.
If we are being realistic I think it would be naive to think it wouldn't change the way people view you. No need to talk about your sexuality with your co-workers -- just keep it professional and when they all start talking about what chicks they hooked up with you can just nod and keep quiet about your personal life. Is it fair? not really... will that you you the best chance at an offer? probably.
I would keep it on the DL for a while. As in until you are VP/MD level or you're baller enough trader that your PnL speaks for itself. Telling others the only upside is feeling better that you dont have to hide it while the downside is not being treated fairly, being judged behind your back etc. You want to be a trader its time you think like one. In this case the reward to risk ratio simply doesnt make sense.
"Oh the ladies ever tell you that you look like a fucking optical illusion" - Frank Slaughtery 25th Hour.
Tool.
- Bond
You'll be fine - there should be plenty of Yale guys around.
I'm making it up as I go along.
Why exactly would you "come out" to them?
Keep it to yourself. It's none of their business, and yes, for many, it will change their perception of you. I seriously doubt anyone would ever ask anyway.
Yeah, I wasn't planning on "coming out" to them. As I mentioned, I don't openly talk about my orientation but if someone does ask me I tell them. However, as most people mentioned the risk is probably too great and I guess I can keep it under wraps or even lie till I atleast get the offer or start working FT next year. Thanks for the advice guys!
Your sexual orientation is nobody else's business. Keep it to yourself.
Yeah, it's like religion affiliation if you ask me... nobody's business, and should be left out of the workplace.
Its hilarious to see I have such a fan club.
"Oh the ladies ever tell you that you look like a fucking optical illusion" - Frank Slaughtery 25th Hour.
...I would not worry about it but also not make it a huge issue. Become familiar and friendly with everyone and then if it comes up feel free to be honest. As long as you do the job it wont be a problem...in fact if anyone gives you shit it could be a serious problem for them not you. This is the 21st century and everyone will be an adult about these things.
LOL , Are you fucking kidding me?
"I wanna Thank the Good Lord for Making me a Capitalist"
One of the other S&T SA's during my summer was pretty openly gay and he ended up getting an offer. In fact, about once a month their were happy hour events for gay bankers in Canary Wharf that he regularly attended. Take it for what it's worth.
London is very different to the US
you know, just to take the other side of this trade ... your best bet is probably to be super flaming about it. then you can sue them if you don't get an offer and regular promotions up to MD. hell you might even get nominated for supreme court some day. low risk strategy for high risk market imo
why would you even but put in a position where you need to come out? nobody will be asking you your sexual preference. do you think your straight colleagues will be verifying with their desk and HR that they're indeed straight?
the 'liar's poker' culture doesn't entirely exist anymore - some behavior on the floor is outlandish, but there are some aspects that are very sterile. Race/religion/sex / sexual preference are all off limits.
Lets say you notice a hot girl at work, obviously you will check her out a couple of times. Now, if I see a hot guy, I'll be as discreet about it as possible but obviously check him out a couple of times. Now if the girl notices you checking her out she wouldn't think twice about it. However, if a 'straight' guy catches me checking him out, he'll obviously start suspecting that I am gay. Lets say the guy mentions it to a colleague, word gets around the team/division, people are bound to ask you about your orientation. So yeah, I believe the tasks ahead for me will be to keep my head down, concentrate on my work and keep my eyes inside my head. Hopefully, I'll get the FT offer and that is all I care about at the moment.
Dude it is no disadvantage, just keep it yourself and don't make a big deal about it. At one of the MBB consulting firms, an intern there commented that "like half the kids are gay" and it made no difference whatsoever.
There are also lots of gay-friendly events for gays in finance.
I think the choice is clear - there's no upside in telling but and there's everything to lose. That's a definite loser in my books.
Just think about your grandmother or like FASB157 shit like that
"Oh the ladies ever tell you that you look like a fucking optical illusion" - Frank Slaughtery 25th Hour.
Haha, you know what, that's a good strategy. Everytime I see a hot guy, I'll just think about my grandmother!
I'm gay and I work on the IBD side at a BB firm. Everyone in my group knows that I'm gay. Seems to be no problem. My colleagues only care that I do a good job.
We actually have more out gays in S&T than in IBD at our firm. Your firm probably has a pride network. Use that to track down some gay MDs and seek their opinion.
To all the people who say, "It's nobody's business," well it's nobody's business that you're straight either, but you tell me all about it all the time by mentioning your wife or the hot chick that you claim to be banging even though in reality you blew 300 bucks buying her dinner and cocktails just to get stonewalled at second base. Asking me to stay in the closet at work is no different than making a "no talking about chicks" rule.
If a man would start to tell how he showed his you now what to his boyfriends you know where i would puke.
I'm gay and have a BB offer. I was out the whole time this summer and it was never an issue at all. The LGBT network at the firm I was at is super strong as well, had a lot to do with my getting my full time offer in trading. A gay MD runs a huge group/division at the firm and connected me to a bunch of people.
...i feel the need to comment again on this topic: Nobody will care that you are gay, and if someone was stupid enuff to make an issue out of it he would be fired about 5 minutes after the words left his mouth. There is some amount of casual homophobia on a typical trading desk, but if somebody was actually openly gay or even made it known that it bothered him as a straight person, that would all stop immediately. This isn't 1983. One has to realize that all of these firms are gigantic corporations and the amount they stand to lose on legal proceedings is far more then most traders add in terms of value. If you want to be openly gay its not going to be a problem, the choice is yours. The people on here who say differently just don't understand reality. In terms of promotion and advancement, again, its not going to be a problem.
London must be waaaaay different. I've been on the buy side and sell side, and I've never met a gay dude in finance (that I know of).
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