Biggest Hardo Stories

I know most of you grinded through college to get that SA gig and then worked very hard from there to get an FT offer. But you probably came across that one guy who stayed till 3:00 am every day even if he didn't have to just to show face or try to prove he was the most committed of your class. 

So, who were the biggest hardos you came across in your years in banking? 

 

I was at a firm where we typically worked ~40h of billable work (~50 spent in the office) per week. Guy in the firm would regularly bill ~60h and stay in for ~70 for absolutely no reason. He was quite slow and inefficient but would regularly stay late because he felt he had to or because he thought it looked professional. He would essentially work 50% more than necessary. This would be the IB equivalent of regularly working 120h weeks when everyone else works 80h. Hardo.

 

Knew a guy from my SA in London. He would regularly use the entire meal stipend to load up on personal groceries for the office (mainly power bars and caffeinated drinks), and would pop adderral consistently. For the first week he tried taking over people's work ("I'll do that model for ya!"), and even slept in the bathroom stall ("10 minute commute home, bruv? No thanks!"). The staffer even recognized his antics and told him to get some proper rest, though that didn't quite stop him. Eventually he passed away from "natural causes" in the men's stall. 

 

Knew a guy from my SA in London. He would regularly use the entire meal stipend to load up on personal groceries for the office (mainly power bars and caffeinated drinks), and would pop adderral consistently. For the first week he tried taking over people's work ("I'll do that model for ya!"), and even slept in the bathroom stall ("10 minute commute home, bruv? No thanks!"). The staffer even recognized his antics and told him to get some proper rest, though that didn't quite stop him. Eventually he passed away from "natural causes" in the men's stall. 

Array
 

Knew a guy from my SA in London. He would regularly use the entire meal stipend to load up on personal groceries for the office (mainly power bars and caffeinated drinks), and would pop adderral consistently. For the first week he tried taking over people's work ("I'll do that model for ya!"), and even slept in the bathroom stall ("10 minute commute home, bruv? No thanks!"). The staffer even recognized his antics and told him to get some proper rest, though that didn't quite stop him. Eventually he passed away from "natural causes" in the men's stall. 

Wait... he’s dead?

Array
 

Had this guy in our group (Summer Associate) who did all the usual things you'd expect of when thinking about this topic; stayed way later than he needed, talked himself up, trash talked other interns in front of full-timers in the group, completely over-did his 'summer project'.

Cherry on top was... going into the final review at the end of the summer, he had this "Experience Tracker" presentation. Was a 25+ page presentation on every deal he was staffed on which included overview, deal team, pretty logos, deliverables. It even included an exec summary...

 

He did... it was brought up at the town hall, but people gave the benefit of doubt in the internship setting that he reaaaaally wanted the offer.

Strange really, as it's not that difficult to get a return offer in our group. Just be a normal human being, lose/hide your insecurity, be a likeable person for a couple of months and show even a medium level of enthusiasm/positivity.

 

I used to be that hardo.

But it was worse. I was in public accounting. I consistently billed more hours than my peers and did good work. At the end of the year my bonus was at the top of my 10-12 person class. Me and one other person got $1,000. Everyone else got $500-$750. 

NOT WORTH!!

My guess is being a post mba IB associate will require all my effort anyways. No time/room to be a hardo. Too much to learn.

 

Getting into the school is half the battle. If you have 3-8 years WE, 700+ GMAT, land at a T25 program (at least), then it is very achievable. This year was a lot more competitive because of COVID and less total spots but normally that should do it. For the most part, the higher ranked your school the better your chances. That being said banks filter students in a similar fashion to schools. So if you are an M7 candidate at a T25 you will likely stand out in a good way. 

 

Not sure if this classifies as “hardo” but thought I’d share since it’s entertaining af. Had a friend complete an internship in college, and during his time he managed to:

- burn down his kitchen 

- got kicked out/ banned from one of NYC’s best clubs for fighting a dude for staring at the models he brought to his table (and then fighting the bouncer)

- spent his entire $40k-50k in internship earnings on miscellaneous things, which the CFO caught wind of and he became known as “the kid who spent all his money”

He’s a smart dude who will do well in life, but definitely a stereotypical old-school style banking hardo imo

 

Not banking but undergrad. I went to a lower tier state school, a place where a lot of kids are grinders, first generation to go to college, etc. This one kid in our macroeconomics class would wear a full suit and carry a briefcase to class every day. Someone in class finally asks him one day where he works. Kid just responds: "School is my job". Absolute hardo.

Few players recall big pots they have won, strange as it seems, but every player can remember with remarkable accuracy the outstanding tough beats of his career.
 

If you looked up the word "Hardo" in the dictionary this man's picture would be next to the definition

 

dubman01

Reminds me of those kids that would wear suits to my state school's finance club (when the dress code was business casual), sit in the front row, and immediately spam the speakers with their resumes when the presentation was over. 

Honestly I go with the dress shirt and tie as a minimum for business casual events just to play it safe. Always heard to err on the side of being over professionally dressed rather than under. 

 

I should also note I couldn’t stand this kid, putting the above comment aside. Just a complete dick and I made it well aware I did not like him. When I got into my masters program and updated my LinkedIn he messaged me to inform me that he too would be pursuing graduate studies, albeit at a different school. Pretty sure I just unfriended him. What a wild cat

Few players recall big pots they have won, strange as it seems, but every player can remember with remarkable accuracy the outstanding tough beats of his career.
 

A new hire at a company I used to work for was sick on like his third day on the job. He apparently went into the bathroom to puke, and over the course of the next two hours I saw him walk up to 3 people (including myself) and told each of us that he was sick, and had just thrown up in the bathroom. All three people (including myself) told him to go home, and his response to everyone was "nah I think I'll just stick it out for the rest of the day." Such an office hero. 

This same guy would park his car next to our COO's every morning, repeat jokes senior management members would tell, buy a very small amount of donuts holes for the office every Monday, and constantly hang around senior management members at work parties. 

 

We were once working on an analysis of potential merger targets for a client. The potential target had way higher CapEx relative to its closest public comp, which was an identical business in pretty much everyway. The difference was pretty substantial (CapEx as % of Revenue consistently 20%+ vs. 5-10% for the comp). He wanted to know how the research/investor community thought about the differences in capital intensity. We told him that equity research analysts never brought it up. He didn't believe us and didn't think the client would believe us either. So he made us pull (purchase) every single research report by a major wall street brokerage from the last 10 years that (1) was about the target company or (2) was about the competitor but mentioned the target by name in the report. He made us open every single report (thousands and thousands of reports) and control f for "CapEx", "Capital Expenditure" and a few other variations of the word to confirm that no research analyst talked about the target's capital intensity and then made us put together an excel list of every research report we went through as back-pocket support just in case the client pressed us on this.

As a follow-up: (1) the client never asked us about this and (2) the difference had to do with a difference in accounting policies related to capitalizing software development costs and not anything fundamentally different with the businesses.

The guy is an absolute lunatic    

 

Sorry to sound like a dick, but wouldn't you guys have been able to figure out that it was related to a difference in accounting for cap software costs after pouring through thousands of reports?  Maybe I'm missing something (like the accounting wasn't disclosed/discussed in the K), but just seems like something one would be able to figure out prior to paying for thousands of reports...

 

Guy during my summer was very reluctant to turn in the business expenses he incurred (including travel as we went to one cross country meeting). In part, I think to him it felt similar to awkwardly asking people to pay you back when they've borrowed money from you. That said, he was a total hardo and probably felt too that it would help him secure a full-time offer.....the idea that he was willing to financially sacrifice on account of the firm. Either way, to me it was taking it way too far. Companies are responsible for reimbursing business expenses and everyone fully understands this.

 

Looking back I think I was probably the most obnoxious 1st-year analyst ... 

  • Bought donuts and coffee every couple of weeks for the team
  • Brought an elaborate setup into the office on Day 1 or 2 (think organizers, keyboard, mouse, etc.)
  • Volunteered for staffings regularly / would offer to take on any live deal an exiting senior analyst was working on
  • If I was waiting for comments, I would look through the recently updated folders for decks that other people had worked on to see what they were up to   

/RoastMe

 

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