Bonus Bananas August 23, 2013
1) The boat people of Stamford vs. Ray Dalio's hedge fund (CNBC) - What happens when Ray Dalio hires a caustic Seattle hippie to pitch his new headquarters idea to a bunch of boat trash? Hilarity ensues, of course.
2) How Jon Oringer became Silicon Alley's first billionaire (BBC) - This is one of the coolest stories you'll read all week. I think it's awesome that NYC's first homegrown tech billionaire started out with no experience and nothing but a $500 camera. Proves anybody can do it.
3) AOL CEO Fires Staffer on Call (The Daily Beast) - This is just brutal in a totally hilarious way. Imagine getting fired by the CEO on a conference call in front of God and everybody. That's some Management 101 shit right there.
4) Do You Look At Employees’ Social Media Accounts (Nibletz) - Any potential employer who claims they don't check out your social media accounts is lying to your face. Be smart about this, guys. They are going to check.
5) GOOGLE: If You Send To Gmail, You Have 'No Legitimate Expectation Of Privacy' (SFGate) - Some people in the know (including our own Jared Dillian) think this is going to be a very big deal going forward. I'm not convinced. I think if you're using a free service that you go into it expecting that you have no privacy. At least I do. Am I wrong?
6) Budget Asian airline unveils child-free zones (The Telegraph) - For the love of all that is good and Holy, can we make this a thing...please? Why stop at airlines? Why not make child-free everything?
7) Don't Be a Fucking Douchebag Part Three (Chris Tacy) - This one is going to make you laugh out loud. San Francisco has turned into such an unbearable shitshow since the tech explosion that long-time residents like Tacy are now fleeing the place. But you know what else is funny? New residents, especially from NYC, hate it too. Here's an epic rant (since deleted but your Uncle Eddie tracked it down for you) from a New Yorker forced to relocate to the city by the bay because he's a Y-Combinator guy. Awesome.
8) The NCAA is nuts. Johnny Manziel should be able to sell his own autograph. (Washington Post) - I'm working on a post about the face of modern slavery in the US, but this piece is a good start. I can't tell you how badly the NCAA fucking with these kids over petty shit chaps my ass while they bring in over $4 billion a year as an organization.
9) Welcome to the Age of Denial (NY Times) - I almost didn't post this because it makes me so sad. Truly. How have we as a country grown so backwards in the face of such technological leaps over the past 30 years? Literally all my hope rests in the youth of this once great nation.
10) Liquid Lapdance Might Be the Best Invention Since the Pole (Vital Vegas) - This is actually pretty horrifying in a "could that actually work???" kind of way. I even thought about posting the demo video as the Video of the Week, but it's so NSFW that Patrick would have a stroke and his new bride would be gunning for me. I know one of you sickos is going to try this out. I expect a review when you do.
Video of the Week:
The big news all over the interwebs today is that Ben Affleck is the new Batman. Believe it or not, I don't hate the idea. I can totally see him as Bruce Wayne, and as far as the Caped Crusader, well, with CGI all things are possible. But this week's video is the international trailer for his next flick, Runner Runner. I know we have a lot of poker aficionados on WSO, especially the online variety, and that's what this movie is all about. For those unfamiliar with the game, the term "runner runner" means catching the exact two cards you need to have the best hand on the last two cards turned over. In other words, the title of the movie refers to a pretty desperate hand of poker:
It was a great first week back, guys. Let me know what you think of this week's batch of Banana's in the comments, and have a tremendous weekend!
Welcome back Eddie. There is a killing to be made by selling child-free zones. Too bad there's a bill of rights standing in the way.
9) How is that guy comparing creationism to climate change? Climate change (as far as it's human created) is far from indisputable fact and you would expect the percentage of skeptics to increase the more people are informed. What a douche.
Seriously? I believe God created the world, though not in the 4000 years ago with Adam riding dinosaurs sense. But saying man-driven climate change is far from indisputable is a stretch. The evidence is beyond overwhelming unless you think the ice caps were destined to melt at a very rapidly increasing pace, mankind or not.
Experts predicted a temperature increase, based on their logic, it decreased, and so they adjusted their model, and tada! it still fits with their expectation.
If i did that with a share price prediction, you'd call me a fraud.
Noone knows whats actually going on, if only they said that i'd have some respect for them. I agree with the principle of looking after the planet, but the current system we have is absurd.
virtually none of the paper we use comes from a rainforest, it comes from tree farms built for that purpose. Recycle paper? waste of energy. You aren't saving trees. Is one example.
Umm, what?
It isn't even remotely disputable. Climate change is real and we contribute to it in a big way.
You trolling?
These just weren't the same without you. Always enjoy this every Friday morning.
Hey Eddy.
3) Pretty damn funny; he wasn't a dick about it at all. Just "Get out" lol.
8) He is definitely being fucked over and should be allowed to get that money. But nothing will change. The NCAA will continue their exploitation of kids and Johnny Football will continue to be a douche.
Anecdote: Just saw this piece of news. Columbia, South Carolina is making it illegal to be homeless. Rather than giving the homeless one-way tickets, they're being shipped to a shelter on the outskirts of town, which they cannot leave without a reservation on a shuttle out. The police will patrol the road back into the city to prevent them from returning.
http://newsfeed.time.com/2013/08/22/kicking-out-the-homeless-in-downtow…
9) Great op-ed piece. It is really sad reading those statistics. It is really curious as to what factors have led to this digression of thought.
And creationism and climate change typically are antithetical of one another, so the comparison makes sense. IMO, climate change is pretty indisputable. Regardless of the "degree" of human effect on these events, it still has observable correlation.
6) Nice concept on child-free zones, but which airline, if any, would have the balls to implement this first in the US?
Relevant to #9.
3*4 = 11 is "okay" as long as you explain yourself...
http://www.cpflorida.com/2013/08/19/under-new-common-core-standards-3-x…
Welcome back
Regarding #3 and #9, the basic problem is that the majority of earth is still run by old shitheads who are rooted in the past. Kill off everyone over 50 and we'll see all this tyrannical biblical shit disappear. A failing company's CEO trying to reorganize a creative and entrepeneurial culture by being a shitheaded tyrant? It's the same crap as FOX news and Jerry Falwell spreading this shit that we need to return to our 'biblical' roots. Gobshit. Longer life spans are kind of the problem: if the folks in control of most things still regard the telephone as 'newfangled' I think it's time we put them out to pasture so we can move on with our lives.
Regarding #7 - some douch from NYC complaining about the douchiness of some other area? How delicious. He can bitch all he wants, but I'm pretty sure NYC is the global capital of trashtastic douchiness.
Logan's Run FTMFW.
edit: Just realized how obscure a reference that is for many of you. Logan's Run told the story of a perfect world where you had access to every pleasure, but everyone got killed off at age 30 - hence, no old people.
Had never heard of this book... just picked it up on half.com. It sounds awesome. Thanks!
Fish and plankton and sea greens and protein from the sea
7) I was thinking the same thing. However, I did recently have a run in with an aforementioned breed of San Francisc(an?oer?). While NYC probably takes the cake, SF has a different strain of douche which is still just about as annoying. Was out with a friend and his GF's roomie had him over and everything we drank, ate, did, had to be compared to California's version. Seems like a state version of hyper nationalist.
I actually grew up in San Francisco and visited a couple weeks ago when I was back in the States. Couldn't believe how different it is. We used to stuff quarters into a parking meter when we went to Pier 39 as a kid. Two weeks ago it cost me $40 to park. Fucking techno-trash. lol
Love this list, gotta watch the links but I'm gonna say this one more time on #6: if I bring my wild ass children to one of the Young People Neighborhoods, or one of your milquetoast Wine Spectator restaurants, I expect you to be pissed. But y'all come to my neck of the woods where the restaurants have crayons and high chairs, so eat me.
That said, yes I still like the idea. But common sense will avoid you some annoyance (don't get on a flight with me to fucking Orlando when half the plane is going to WDW).
Also, someone give me the scoop on Eddies NSFW link, gotta know about this liquid lapdance
Andy Samberg covers it pretty well here:
//www.youtube.com/embed/4pXfHLUlZf4
Lol I had to ask.
@UFOInsider at least your cutoff at 50 gives me some good years, I'd be done in Logan's Run
I thought that the Runner Runner would be a good film until I found out that Justin Timberlake is in it.
In response to #5, I agree with Eddie. I think that there can be little expectation of privacy even with paid services; phone line tapping sound familiar? As far as email providers go, I trust Google the least. Don't believe their motto.
In response to #10, I seriously doubt that it will catch on mainstream, i.e. don't bet your money on it. Expect it to be used mostly by tech nerds.
In response to #6, why not child free restaurants. I would really like that.
Move to Paris. Virtually every decent restaurant and café is child-free. And you can bring your dog with you. True story. It's one of the things I'll miss when I leave here. I can't tell you how nice it is to go to dinner and not even have to see a child, much less endure any of their mindless caterwauling.
In response to #4, that is why I don't use social media.
@ Scott Irish - same here :/ LOL
I'm being facetious, but we're literally waiting for a generation to die off. More than any other era of history, we can advance and we're being held back by old farts and primitive stone age motherfuckers (see: MENA). I say just strip them of their power and be done with it.
9: In the 1970s, it was "indisputable scientific fact" that the globe was cooling and we were headed for another Ice Age. Also, "future shock" was incontrovertible, since "everyone knew" technology was just advancing too quickly for people to cope, and we would all basically just lose it. How things change...
7) Haven't been back home to the Bay Area in over 2 years. Now I'm getting somewhat afraid to go back. That start-up douchebaggery is why I would never live in Silicon Valley. You just want to strangle these 20-somethings who thing their iPhone app is going to change the world.
I've loosely tracked rents, and have been stunned seeing studios go from $1400 to $1800. I don't even know where the money is coming from. Software engineers have always been reasonably well paid, but aren't exactly making it rain. Is it VC? The impact of acquisitions by the tech giants?
The fed?
Re: (7)
Don't come back if you don't have to. I'm also from the Bay Area. Returned here to work at a hedge fund (don't ask me what time I wake up), and I'm damn near my breaking point.
Let's just say this isn't the place we grew up.
No one is polite anymore (I swear they used to be). Our infrastructure -- never all that wonderful to begin with -- is now barely functioning (CalTrain/Muni/BART... 101... It's just chaos). Rents are skyrocketing, as SF's love of rent control (and subsequent lack of available inventory) meets a booming economy. The companies getting funded are united by: (1) Their lack of a business model (woo-fucking-hoo another mobile payments company!), or (2) Their complete lack of self-awareness (see: founder of Bustle.com, or basically any story currently coming out of the Bay Area).
If I didn't love my job and have a ton of family and friends here, I would be on the first unbearably shitty/delayed SFO flight outta here.
What's funny is we have a massive energy boom happening right the fuck now, featuring real businesses with real ROIC, and all anyone our age wants to do is dick around fastening pink mustaches to their fucking Subaru.
Sorry for the rant everyone. It's just gotten kinda frustrating out here.
HAHAHAHAHA. Preach on brother.
+1 Great post, but it's depressing to hear that the city has changed so much. SF is (was?) one of a handful of cities I could see myself living in long term.
I interned in Silicon Valley and got a taste of what you're describing. But the culture was largely isolated to Mountain View / Sunnyvale / Palo Alto at that point. SF was always liberal / quirky but mainly a live-and-let-live type city.
I mean it's still probably better than NY, but it sounds like it is becoming some sort of tech-centric mirror of Brooklyn. I mean you can always find your own circle of friends (and I'm guessing the guys at your fund do not drive mustachioed Subarus), but cultural fit still matters.
I fucking hate anti science bullshit.
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/08/20/science/earth/extremely-likely-that-h…
Would have to echo Scotch Irish here. Is it really anti-science to be skeptical about assertions related to an unbelievably complex, hard to measure, volatile phenomenon? Especially in situation where politicians and policymakers have a vested interest in a certain outcome? Seems to me it's quite the opposite. And "fucking hating" those that question things related to a particular position -- that has hints of dogmatism, not reasoned, scientifically informed opinion doesn't it?
Just something to think about before we wed ourselves to a position that calls for us to embark on the costliest policy intervention in the history of mankind to alter, in 10 years or so, the climate of a planet that is 4.6 billion years old.
Sheeit people it's Friday let's not debate glob warming, lets mock boat people (out of envy in my case)
Haha, I'll concede to that. Was an article on dealbreaker about it too. Building sounds insane.
9 hurts my head. I literally groaned and coworkers asked what was wrong. I simply don't understand how educated people can come up with creationism or say climate change does not exist.
7 Couldn't be more spot on...
I can't stand SF people touting public transportation and using LA as a reference point. I live 3 miles from down town, and the typical commute on MUNI is 30 - 40 minutes. Driving is completely out of question, unless you enjoy paying $32 per day in parking fees. Compare this to LA, where down town parking is approximately $10. Of course, city hall couldn't care less. Population continues to grow month after month and parking your car is becoming nearly impossible unless you fork out $300 / month for a reserved parking spot.
sigh ... it isn't "scientific" to call people who disagree with your conclusions "anti-science," it's just a good way to chase off people who follow, whatchamacallit, oh right, the scientific method. I'm not stating my opinion either way but wish we'd stop sniffing our own buttholes about how stupid people are for disagreeing with us. It's fun but not helpful.
Seriously, go read Chris Tacy, it's worth the time especially if you've ever lived out there.
LOL if temperatures stayed the same I think the larger point is it's a bad idea to screw up the world. Entire chunks of China are periodically shut down due to smog, and look at LA. Is it worth it? Is it really that big a problem to raise efficiency rates and try to mitigate destroying our living space aka this earth? I grew up next to gorgeous wetlands that Chevron screwed up and is now a superfund site, so it always seemed that common sense would dictate not ruining land/air/water. They ruined that area, miles of it, and now have to pay a fortune to clean it up. We're doing this on a global level....do we really want to deal with that down the road? Why not just do things the right way? Why reduce this to political bickering? I don't get it. People are stupid.
Truth is, the planet isn't going anywhere.....screw things up enough and we are
See you just keep dodging the argument or expanding its scope. Fact is that global temperatures haven't increased in the last 20 years and scientists don't really know why...this is also the reason the term has changed from "Global Warming" to "Climate Change"...gotta love politicians.
The climate is ALWAYS changing. It was warmer in the 1600's than it was in the 1900's; 10,000 years ago half the planet was covered in ice; Alaska's highest recorded temperature was 100 degrees--in 1915! What happen since then? The temperature rises and falls, oceans change, ice melts, and this is all part of the natural environment. There are something like 15-20 different factors that affect the weather and scientists don't even completely understand how changing one factor affects the weather, let alone how all the factors affect each other. Anyone who claims that global warming is "indisputable" is being dishonest with themselves.
Now on to your new point about doing things to help the environment, when has anyone here said that we should smog up LA or imitate China.
You didn't provide any specifics about this "Superfund site" so I can't really comment on it, except to say what is the problem? They drilled for oil, made a mistake, and are now cleaning it up. Drilling for oil and fracking is done across this country everyday in a safe and responsible manner with no contamination. If you are going to condemn an entire process, which they are cleaning up, and ignore the economic and social benefits of jobs, increased product efficiency, and a more energy independent United States, because of one or two accidents, then I suggest you never fly in an airplane or drive in a car again. After all, apart from being direct end users of said drilling, they also have had some very serious accidents take place.
In fact, I don't think you will find any conservative that has a problem with renewable energy and increasing efficiency; what they have problem with is the government holding up a billion dollar pipeline on bureaucratic bullshit. They have a problem with the government forcing cars to increase MPG which forces car manufacturers to make smaller, less safe cars rather than allowing the market of consumers to dictate what kind of cars and what fuel characteristics they want. They have a problem with the government wasting billions of dollars on wind and solar subsidies when the technology clearly isn't commercially viable. I am sick of blowing 500mm on Solyndra, 200mm on a car company whose cars are spontaneously combustible, paying people 60K each to put solar panels on their houses, or any number of the hundreds of stupid environmental projects and initiatives the government has thought up to help combat "climate change"....but hey, Al Gore turned 2mm into over 100mm all by himself by making "smart business decisions" right?
@Gekko21 : Oh where to start? I said I'd refrain but I can't resist.
1) Temperatures have been increasing, that is a fact. 2) They "changed" the term global warming so that idiots can actually understand its impacts on climate change. Can't tell you how many times I've heard "Oh! This winter/summer is very cold. Guess the scientists were wrong!" 3) Temporary shifts in climate are a given. Solar flares have historically effected climate to the point of droughts and were even hypothecized to coincide with financial crashes (was actually very close to true mind you! however time has proved it wrong). 4) One sample day in Alaska does not nullify a trend. See solar flare referrence above. These events are not prolonged occurrences. 5) The Earth has not changed this drastically since human existence. Currently experiencing the largest volume of extinction of animals since the dinosaurs died off. 6) Fracking done clean and safe? Are you joking? Contaminants and leaks in Colorado have destroyed tracts of land irreversibly, you can even set pools of water on fire because they emit so much gas. Deepwater Horizon as well. 7) Another reason Keystone was held up (not politically that is), was that it crossed the largest underground water table in USA. Major leak or spill would've been disastrous (still would be). 8) And God forbid the government subsidize a progressive energy source! As opposed to the vast sums of subsidies that they grant to agriculture which is essentially a waning business in America.
doublepost
Dude, you need to get laid
atomic, that rant was a thing of beauty. I'll go buy some credits
10) hahahaha. I'm not going to say anything here because I don't want to sound like a creeper.
Does anyone believe what the weatherman will say about tomorrow's forecast?
Then why would you believe a 100-year forecast?
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