Boss' condescending email...What do?

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WSO,

So I recently put in my resignation letter and giving my 2 weeks notice. The boss, at the time, seemed upset but not overly dramatic about it. Then, yesterday I exchanged emails giving my official date and for whatever reason, he was not pleased. Thereafter, he started attacking me personally, telling me I was a wasted investment by the company along with other rants.

My question is, How should I go about this? Should I even give a rat's a$$? All suggestions welcome.

Comments (71)

 
Dec 21, 2011 - 11:46am

As annoying as this is, you should try to play it above the board. Don't go to his level. Instead, express your regret that it didn't work out, say you understand his concern, and that you would like to do whatever you can to leave the firm on good terms (extra work in the next couple of weeks to leave the department in good shape, etc. -- whatever he thinks would be helpful). You don't want to burn bridges in this business, it can come back to bite you in the ass.

 
Dec 21, 2011 - 11:52am

Save every email, print them out or forward them to your personal account.

Make sure the new gig is going to work out well

Forward all emails to Bess Levin

Sit back and laugh

Inform us

:)

Get busy living
 
Dec 21, 2011 - 11:57am

next time, try meeting up with you boss and asking him if his firm can match you new job offer's salary. if they can't (which is very likely) you won't come off as a "wasted investment" (which i doubt you are). its very understandable to leave because your getting a higher salary.

 
Dec 21, 2011 - 12:03pm

Slap him in the dick.

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into SWANSONS.
 
Dec 21, 2011 - 12:41pm

1) Where do you work in general terms (F500, small firm, etc)

2) He actually said he would 'kick your ass'?

I only ask because if you're at a F500 and he did, HR probably already knows.

If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford
 
Dec 21, 2011 - 1:31pm

I told off my ex boss after he gave me a similar rant. It was a bad move, as he forwarded it to the group (it was small) and it made me look like shit. Do not do it. If you do want to say something be as professional as possible. Thank him for the opportunity and apologize for any inconvenience. That has the potential to go MUCH further and may benefit you. That is what I wish I did.

 
Dec 21, 2011 - 1:33pm

Don't do anything rash. People get overly emotional to what they see as a personal rejection. Egos are very delicate in the higher levels of management.

My advice to you is not to turn it into a battle of egos. You need for your boss to find a way to save face without compromising your move or future references. Take him out to lunch and have a proper break up talk.

Something similar happened to me when I decided to lateral to another firm shortly after being promoted. Our CEO and one of our Directors took it very personally and became emotional.

The CEO gave me a long lecture about integrity and how the industry is very small, everyone knows everyone and that people have long memories (all true, but irrelevant to my move). He then tried to block my move by calling my new boss and saying that he was offended that he hadn't asked his permission to poach me and threatened to go to the CEO/Chairman of their firm. I actually hadn't signed yet and this frightened my new boss enough to hold off for a month leaving me in limbo.

I really had to scramble, I interviewed with an investment bank while I tried to resolve the mess. In the end my old CEO agreed not to try to block my move after I got my new boss to call him. The old CEO saw it as an "apology" and my new boss saw it as clarifying that he hadn't done anything wrong. It was very tough trying to frame the issue for them in this way.

Fast forward 3 years, they are both at other roles and I still look at the occasional deal with each of them.

It's not your fault your boss is a child, but it is up to you to protect yourself and manage/diffuse the situation.

 
Best Response
Dec 21, 2011 - 1:52pm

Do your best to leave on good terms, but if that can't be done, I seem to remember an old saying that is going to work wonders at driving people who hate you crazy:

If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat;
if he is thirsty, give him water to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head...

Be nice and carry yourself with a genuinely friendly, carefree attitude. You're happy for the firm, you're happy for yourself, and you'll be gone soon, so what's wrong with being nice to folks?

The contrast between you and your boss will be striking and folks will remember you a whole lot better.

 
Dec 21, 2011 - 2:02pm

IlliniProgrammer:
Do your best to leave on good terms, but if that can't be done, I seem to remember an old saying that is going to work wonders at driving people who hate you crazy:

If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat;
if he is thirsty, give him water to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head...

Be nice and carry yourself with a genuinely friendly, carefree attitude. You're happy for the firm, you're happy for yourself, and you'll be gone soon, so what's wrong with being nice to folks?

The contrast between you and your boss will be striking and folks will remember you a whole lot better.

thanks Illini, this is what I will most likely do. i've put in a ton of hours, transformed all the processes that were broken at the place, and was awarded by the CFO. just caught me by surprise when he issued that email to me.

 
Dec 21, 2011 - 2:04pm

IlliniProgrammer:
Do your best to leave on good terms, but if that can't be done, I seem to remember an old saying that is going to work wonders at driving people who hate you crazy:

If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat;
if he is thirsty, give him water to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head...

Be nice and carry yourself with a genuinely friendly, carefree attitude. You're happy for the firm, you're happy for yourself, and you'll be gone soon, so what's wrong with being nice to folks?

The contrast between you and your boss will be striking and folks will remember you a whole lot better.

+1 IP.

 
Dec 21, 2011 - 3:34pm

IlliniProgrammer:
Do your best to leave on good terms, but if that can't be done, I seem to remember an old saying that is going to work wonders at driving people who hate you crazy:

If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat;
if he is thirsty, give him water to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head...

Be nice and carry yourself with a genuinely friendly, carefree attitude. You're happy for the firm, you're happy for yourself, and you'll be gone soon, so what's wrong with being nice to folks?

The contrast between you and your boss will be striking and folks will remember you a whole lot better.

This try hard to preserve your character and not stoop to the level of that obviously insecure superior of yours, but at the same time don't flaunt it in his or other peoples faces. Move quiet and humble.

'We're bigger than U.S. Steel"
 
Dec 21, 2011 - 2:35pm

set up a meeting before your last day with him and HR or your direct supervisor and just be classy about. say you wanted to debrief before you left, mention that its too bad he feels that way (not mentioning any if the exact details) etc. Be classy, calm and collected...its one of the few moments in your life where you can practice/learn heading into a hostile environment and holding your own. These are good lessons and situations to learn from.

good luck at the next job!

 
Dec 21, 2011 - 3:28pm

Remember, if you just ooze charm and remain in front of your colleagues for the rest of your time there, there's not a whole lot the guy can do to you in terms of your standing at the firm.

I don't think there's a need to go on the "offensive" regardless of what OP's manager does. You want to be seen/remembered as wanting him to look good. And if he wants to look like a jerk, that's fine. If you're a political mastermind, you might be able to help him a bit with that, but the conservative strategy is to be happy for him, be happy for the firm, and enjoy your last two weeks without any major blow-ups.

Your boss may be pissed, but he really can't do anything to you. That's probably why he's so pissed. Your being happy, content, relaxed, and carefree while he goes into a rage is simply your way of getting back at him for making a big to-do of this- and letting him know that he can't really hurt you at this point and needs to focus his efforts elsewhere.

 
Dec 21, 2011 - 4:55pm

Any firm over a few hundred people is likely to have an HR department that cares about this sort of thing. You could forward it on to them with a note saying you found it unprofessional and not up to the firm's standards or something like that. I wouldn't expect any drastic action to result, but it will be put on file and if his assholish behavior has been a problem in the past, or continues in the future, he is likely to get a smack.

 
Dec 21, 2011 - 5:10pm

someotherguy:
Any firm over a few hundred people is likely to have an HR department that cares about this sort of thing. You could forward it on to them with a note saying you found it unprofessional and not up to the firm's standards or something like that. I wouldn't expect any drastic action to result, but it will be put on file and if his assholish behavior has been a problem in the past, or continues in the future, he is likely to get a smack.

I generally agree with this unless the guy is very senior. Then it won't really matter what HR think.

 
Dec 21, 2011 - 5:35pm

Send him a picture of your dick. Find a random pic of a tiny dick on the internet and label yours as yours and his at the tiny one.

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne
 
Dec 22, 2011 - 12:00pm

alphaSledge:
trade4trade:
just reply "u jelly bro?"

its either this or "come at me, bro"

Love this!

Illi, good advice as always.

I had this happen a few months ago when I left my former job. My boss who was in a diff state called me screaming at me asking me why I thought I had the right to move, and how he was disappointed and that I was unable to make these kind of decisions. What was I thinking. And then what made it even worse was I refused to tell anyone where I was going or what I was doing and he started screaming at me about that, and how could I leave the group, yada yada yada. I did pretty much what Illi recommended, apologized for the inconvience so to speak, offered to stay longer to help train a new hire that had started a few weeks prior, etc. I made sure not to burn a bridge, and everyone who I directly worked w/ I still talk to / have a good relationship w/, no bridges burned.

 
Dec 22, 2011 - 2:42pm

Also this whole, don't burn bridges dribble is stupid. Unless the industry is so intertwined like IB is who gives a shit if you burn bridges at your old job. You are leaving for a reason.

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne
 
Dec 23, 2011 - 1:48pm

Stay classy, not for the sake of anyone, but yourself. Save the emails on your USB and send them to yourself. Give yourself a week to think, the most tempting answer is to key his car, shit on his desk and fuck his wife on camera. I'm not going to lie it would probably feel incredible to do, however the high is short lived and the consequences serious. So apply some tincture of time, it's probably best not to respond.

 
Dec 24, 2011 - 9:08am

Not all bosses are good. Always take the high road, and when you get into a managerial role later on remember to act in a classier manner than he did.

Metal. Music. Life. www.headofmetal.com
 
Dec 24, 2011 - 9:36am

In The Flesh:
Not all bosses are good. Always take the high road, and when you get into a managerial role later on remember to act in a classier manner than he did.

thanks everyone for the comments/suggestions. i've had my share of sh*tty managers while being here, and was caught by surprised with this one since he came off really chill...

 
Dec 27, 2011 - 9:05am

alphaSledge:
In The Flesh:
Not all bosses are good. Always take the high road, and when you get into a managerial role later on remember to act in a classier manner than he did.

thanks everyone for the comments/suggestions. i've had my share of sh*tty managers while being here, and was caught by surprised with this one since he came off really chill...


^^^^^^^^ YEAH, it's strange how people can just turn all Jekyll and Hyde. When I put in my two weeks at my last job, the boss stuck me in a spare cubicle at the end of the hall and the whole group gave me the cold shoulder. Then they started asking where I was going and joking that they were going to call my new boss and tell him to can me. I'm not so sure they were "just kidding". Really crazy part is that the company was going to sell itself off a few months down the line and they had already started laying people off...people who had helped start the firm...so I don't really understand why they think anyone would be loyal after that.

Get busy living
 
Dec 30, 2011 - 1:27pm

I would act professional until the end of your employment with the firm. In reality, your boss is upset most likely because you did good work and your departure now forces him to find a replacement (not impossible, but always challenging and requires a lot of effort). Always keep in mind that it's a small world, and at the end of the day, your paths may cross, and you may need him (for school/job reference, etc.) Also, I wouldn't slack off - just don't give your boss any reason to justify his current behavior.

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