brothers, need help with engagement ring

A ring from Macy's.

" if you want to measure a man's worth, check out the rock on his woman's finger " - Stephen A Schwarzman

lol did he really say that? a little uncouth if you ask me. to the OP, you might want to shop around the diamond district (if you're in NY) you're more likely to find a good deal there then the internet or a chain. And it's a fun experience. But if she already expects an engagement then maybe you should include her in the shopping. If there's one thing I know, women love shopping for engagement rings. There used to be a brazilian restaurant in my neighborhood that I'd always take girls to for a first date and right next door was a jeweler specializing in diamonds with windowcases of engagement rings. EVERY single girl stopped to look. You can make it fun by putting her into a taxi with you and telling her that the destination is a surprise. A fine way to spend a saturday.

thank u, seigniorage.

he said that in "the deal" magazine interview

http://www.sothebys.com/app/live/lot/LotDetail.jsp?lot_id=159619552

EDIT: I second what Seigniorage said though, about Schwarzman and about looking for a good deal, I don't think girls really care how much you got it for, as long as you weren't cheap about it lol

I would not get her involved with the search for a few reasons. First off, there's something to be said about actually proposing and taking her by surprise, hopefully its memorable and not followed up by 10 hours shopping that can be stressful. Second would be I think it sets a bad precedent that you don't know her well enough to pick out something she likes and/or can't make a decision on your own.

I'm sure you can pick something very nice for her by yourself, and if you're really that concerned, talk to either her sister (if she has one) or one of her best friends to come with you and help... but make it a quick turnaround then, because girls talk fast haha.

Dude, are you fucking NEW?

http://www.wallstreetoasis.com/blog/sell-your-options-dearly-marriage

Talk to the future mother in law.

Edit: Seignorage had a pretty good idea.

i was in the same boat. if you're gonna go it alone i'd do what the previous guys did. I personally had one custom made in the style of the michael b petite princess for a girl who wears no jewelry really and has really small hands. i'd go with the princess setting if you're looking for a bigger stone.

http://www.michaelbjewelry.com/home.html

I think the general rule of thumb is 2-3 months salary... She sounds very down to earth and wouldn't really care so long as you put thought into it and you're not being flat out cheap (which you're obviously not at a 60-80k budget...)

I do think 60-80 is kind of high though, unless you're really raking it in then more power to you. Maybe 20-40?

As someone who recently went through the ring buying process, I would strongly recommend relying on her friends'/family's advice. There are so many options out there, and the process seems specifically designed to overwhelm guys. Some stores will even feed you champagne while you are shopping to "aid" in the decision process.

A sister, who she is close to, is the ideal, but a close long-term friend or two would be good as well. Another good idea is to talk to the husbands/fiancees of her married/engaged friends. They've recently been through the process and can be a good sounding board, and they are much less likely to spill the beans. If you go that route, make sure the guys are in a similar earning bracket, or it could be a little awkward.

A good place to do some research online is at blue nile. Spend some time getting to know the various cuts and what the 4 C's mean before ever going to a store.

It was recommended to me that better quality is much more important than going for a really big rock, particularly if your future fiancee is petite. I believe this is true.

Really though, this should be good enough for any girl: http://www.amazon.com/Engagement-Ring-Crystal-Silver-Finish/dp/B003MUP9…

Do you think anybody actually gave this (sincerely) for an engagement?

a

that michael b stuff looks pretty good to me.

20-40 is even better. i simply dont know what is the right price to buy.........actually ur right...if she finds out its expensive, she gon be like, " not wearing it, what if i lose it ?!?!? "

60-80K on an engagement ring ??!!!! What is this world coming to ??

GOD I AM JUST WAITING FOR ANTHONY'S REPLY, i know how much he loves the whole idea of spending money on a DIAMOND ring...

As this year's wedding season comes to an end, I feel qualified to answer this question.

Most of my friends who have "standard" jobs -- making $50-$75k / year, spent between $7k-$10k on a ring. The engaged people I know that make significantly more than that bought/have rings that are more in the $15k-$20k range. Personally, I'm anticipating spending about $20k all-in when I take the plunge. My GF still has the first ring I bought her almost 5 years ago (and all the other things in between then and now...).

As for how to pick -- we went shopping together so she could show me what she likes. I didn't mind the subject -- we're pretty open -- your mileage may vary. I second the www.bluenile.com suggestion -- some great educational tools on there.

The diamond market is rigged. Nuff said

You could always recruit one of her girlfriends to come with you to help you pick. If you want to make sure its exactly what she wants, have your girl's friend take her out one day and stumble across engagement rings so she can immediately gauge the look she goes for.

So take the friend with you... extra points if she's hot... most girl's would probably kill to help pick out their friend's engagement ring... likely you can even bang her in exchange for giving her the privilege.

And regarding your budget... unless your income is $1M+ a year, I think 60-80K isn't necessary. For the mere fact that, unless (and arguably even if) your pulling in $1M+, 70K is a lot of money to you. Yes they say 3 months salary... and an IB associate all-in is in that range... but its just not necessary especially for the low-maintenance girl you described. That money is better spent on a house/wedding/honeymoon/vacations. I'd say go for the 20-35 range. The marginal difference between a 30K ring and a 50K isn't all that much.

BTW.... personally know someone who bought their fiance a $110K engagement ring, ended up not getting married. I'm friends with both parties and the girl recently sold the ring for $35k.

Ahhh, the puss-ification of the man begins. 60-80K for a ring? Did you lose your brains as well as your balls?

IFFF you decide to piss money away on a shitty diamond, learn about it. You can sacrifice clarity for stone size. Unless your GF is a jeweler and has a loupe she wont be able to tell the difference. Go buy the diamond separate from the ring and get it mounted. I would recommend going to a tax free state when you buy it. Free vacation out of the deal.

End story, buy whatever you want. Who gives a crap. You give someone a 10K ring and you are worrying about whether they like it or not? Would you spit in your moms face if she got you the datejust instead of the presidential? Please, women are ingrates.

Don Corleone:

so like this gal. want to propose. by xmas.

about her taste: frankly, i just dont have the testicolis to ask her what she likes. dont wana give it away. even if i did ask, im 100 % sure - knowing her - this is the answer i'm going to get " anything you think tht looks good on me".

extremely simple/subtle/quiet girl. sleek slender frame, very feminine hands, not a snob. I could propose with a ring from Macy's she'd accept it with a smile.

any ideas?

60-80k usd budget.

A 60K diamond on this girls hand will look ostentatious. I think it is more about the guy showing off than the woman. Kind of like buying 50 dozen roses. Just makes the dude look like a baller.

Okay so here's a real girl's opinion on the subject. Def agree on the 4 C's - cut, clarity, color, carat. Also agree on your budget - seems high? Don't know how much you are making but 2-3 months salary is standard. Since she has slender hands you definitely don't want to get anything too big (i.e. not too many carats). It'll look heavy and really ostentatious on her and that's not what you're looking for if she's a simple and subtle girl.

Bringing one of her friends along might be a good idea if they have good taste and are well aware of hers. Personally, I am much more stylish than all of my female friends so if my hypothetical fiance were to bring along one of them to pick out a ring for me I'm not too sure they'd have good enough taste to pick something that I would like to be honest, but then again I am picky and apparently she isn't so this is probably not a problem.

Get something that fits her personality - simple and classic. Thin band, either a solitaire diamond or one with a few small diamonds on the band, round or princess cut diamond.

http://www.tiffany.com/Engagement/Browse.aspx?mcat=148203

The Tiffany setting with a solitaire diamond looks nice or the Lucida setting as well. The Novo doesn't look too bad either if you wanted the extra diamonds on the band.

Lol, I actually think all of the rings featured on the Michael B. website have to much diamond-y glitter for my personal tastes. And I have slender hands too (4.5 ring size - to get perspective the normal starting ring size for cheap fashion rings is like a size 6) so some of those styles would probably look like too much on my hands. The simplest style on that site is the Lace collection.

Oh, and please do not buy a pear or heart-shaped diamond. Those are the fugliest ever.

dont hate if a brother got cash, anthony.

like my women decorated in stones. Makes me feel good. fuck you gon do about it ?

De Beers loves ya, man. Faux scarcity of near worthless rocks would never work if there weren't guys willing to lay down $80,000 for them. P.T. Barnum had a saying about it that escapes me right now. Something about one being born every minute, I think...

Do yourself a favor and check out the Fugazi Collection. We'll keep it between us girls.

See, this is the problem with cash. People think you need to spend it on ever increasingly huge diamonds. If you have a small girl and you stuff a 20K rock on her finger it will look stupid. Get something appropriate. Go buy a 5K ring and donate the rest of the money to cancer research in her name. If she gives you shit she is a vapid bitch and needs to be slapped in the face.

Can I ask something? If you are dropping 60K on a ring is she going to buy you a 20K Rolex? I don't know about you Don, but every chick I have been with is just as lucky to be with me as I am with them. This concept that we have to spend tons of money on an inflated POS just to show how "lucky" we are to be with a chick is stupid. You have more money than brains my friend.

Higher the price the larger the stone.

Here is the issue. Color is key, you want clear and white.

Clarity is the other issue. The larger the stone the more expensive super clear will be. I believe VS2 or VS1 is really great. Thing is you could save money by getting something a little less clear. Clarity will only be visible with a loupe and unless she is a jeweler you will be fine.

Cut is another issue. You need to decide what you want with this.

If you want a huge rock get something with a little less clarity. That will keep the price reasonable. Past a certain point you are just paying for unsee-able clarity.

You need to also factor in the girls hand size. You say she is dainty. I would get a nice size stone (1-2 carats) in the middle with maybe .5/.75 carets on the site. That would look nice. With the main stone go with a decent clarity and maybe up it a little for the smaller stones.

Bluenile.com

Buy the stones raw, get the certified and have a setting made. I would go with platinum.

Not necessarily on clarity. If you buy a real piece of shit stone, you can see the flaws with your naked eye. This is generally what the jews in the diamond district try hawking to people like you... as you as you walk in and say "I want to biggest stone I can afford with $80K" they put a 3 karat stone in front of you that has so many flaws it looks like a chocolate chip cookie and sell you a $3,000 diamond for $75K.

Don Corleone:

fuck it, wrong topic to post on a forum.

Make absolutely certain whatever diamond you do buy is engraved with a microscopic serial number. If you are spending as much as you say (not only are you an idiot) but your insurance company will probably require it. I think these are called red book diamonds but I am not positive. It prevents you from being in a situation where you have taken the ring to be clean, adjusted whatever, and the jeweler swaps the stone with one of the same size and general look but less quality. Saved my buddy's ass.

60grand on diamond? buy her a damn jaguar at least when the marriage breaks up she will still have to pay the gas

Consider Cartier and DeBeers. I recently helped my two friends with the engagement rings and was amazed by the services of these two places. If you are spending about 60-80k then these places make your every penny worth it. Even though I appreciate your feelings towards the girl, but i believe that 60-80k would be a lot to spend on the ring. You can get a perfect ring for about 20-30k. May be you can spend the rest of the money on a vacation with her at a beautiful place and pop the question there.All the best!

Wow what kind of salary must one have to throw 60-80k?

Is 2 carats or 1.7 considered a decent sized stone?