After working in PE for a while I am thinking of applying my skills learnt on the buyside and transferring them to the dating scene.
Step 1
Find the good opportunities. Search through Instagram, Facebook and other sites to find targets of interest.
Step 2
After finding an attractive target, leverage your network. You see your sellside buddy from college is a mutual friend with the target on facebook, you make contact with them and seek an introduction.
Step 3
Turns out your buddy from college is close friends with her, for this reason you offer them the sellside mandate for the deal.
Step 4
The newly appointed sellside deal team arranges an introduction at a networking event (party). You make small talk with the target and realize that your interests and ambitions are aligned for the medium term. You get her contact details and agree to continue discussions.
Step 5
The sellside team facilitates a data room (group chat) so they can relay the messages received from the target to the potential acquirer. Throughout the dataroom process, all parties interests remain aligned.
Step 6
Make the investment. After all the hard work you finally seal the deal. Both parties are satisfied with the investment. As payment to the sellside team you provide them with a few boxes of beer.
Step 7
The hold period. You are now part of the business and understand it fully. Despite the investment tracking well over the hold period, you can't help but notice the minor imperfections which weren't picked up in the dataroom process. You begin to disagree on matters around the board table (move to the suburbs and start a family vs. still wants to dedicate Saturdays to the boys) and it is agreed that the acquirer shall exit the investment.
Step 8
The exit process ends up dragging on longer than both parties originally anticipated due to the acquirer still having headroom in the hold period and contemplating staying committed to the deal for a couple more years while trying to overcome any imperfections of the business.
Step 9
The acquirer finds a new target and exits to free up resources.
Step 10
Your investment has been successful and the IRR is through the roof. You celebrate with the deal teams involved (the boys) and revert back to step 1 to deploy some more....capital.
Does anyone meet girls in real life anymore?
20 swipes right in 20 seconds is a much more efficient way to do things.
Not for men, such as me, who are average-to-below average in appearance. Tinder is an incredible way to meet women...for handsome men. Meeting women the way the OP has suggested is a better way for us mere mortals. At the very least a warm introduction vastly increases our odds from 99-1 to maybe 9-1.
I've met a ton of really slutty, really hot girls on Christian Mingle. Not even joking. And by a ton I mean 2, but that's a lot by my standard. LOL.
Definitely not the guys taking mirror selfies ;)
Holy shit. A little weird out of the gate but you brought it home strong. SAFTB. SB’d
I shudder to think of a day where someone took dating advice from a finance person seriously. It's the same as taking finance advice from a pickup artist, you end up broke (or heartbroken) and not getting to where you want to go.
I wouldn't take dating advice from a pickup artist seriously either.
Step 1 doesn't always apply. She/He can be like Allen & Co. -- very private and exclusive.
Nerd
I learned how to date in sales too.
Find the person you want to talk to and then go talk to them (or another form of communication) and ask them to go on a date.
Bam deal closed
So if I'm married...is that like investing out of a family office with an evergreen capital source and flexible time horizons, or am I more like an infrastructure fund with a 50-year investment period?
sovereign wealth fund equivalent time horizons on that investment
I told my wife she was the keystone investment in my very own sovereign wealth fund. She told me to shut the fuck up. I love her.
Or simply send a selfie wearing a Baroque bathrobe and some Gucci flip-flops. Cuts down transaction time, eliminates counterparty risk and executes trade with very little slippage.
What if you and another investor want to pursue a JV?
I would say plastic surgeons would add the most value when seeking a JV partnership.
Best comment. +1
best ever
"Boxes of beer." Who the fuck are you?
I would have accepted "cases" or "packs"
...not boxes
.
Interesting analogy. Too bad it doesn’t make much sense. Pretty disappointed with this post, sorry
Ya lost me at Step 5. Really, all you need to know is MGTOW.
Can't believe there are so many guys who truly think this is great dating advice because this is truly despicable and shallow
Uh oh. We've got a White Knight snowflake!
No comments on future spinouts? I am disappointed.
You got it twisted homie.
Step 1, enter elite club. Step 2, approach hottest girl in elite club. Step 3, say to hot girl, "I work on the Buyside." Step 4, let hot girl do debaucherous things to you.
Fail!
I tried that. She thought I work for a Best Buy :P
You're doing it wrong.
I'd say this doesn't work and is a college kid's wet dream perception.
You'd have better luck strapping on a guitar and playing "Lullaby," Shawn Mullins
Yet another thread I though @MonacoMonkey started
Definitely wrote by an associate... who now have something brag about on WSO
*Analyst. Definitely nothing to brag about, just enjoy shit posting on WSO
This is sort of cute as far as analogies go but totally unnecessary.
Just assume the sale. Act like she already likes you.
Worked out great for me.
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