After working in PE for a while I am thinking of applying my skills learnt on the buyside and transferring them to the dating scene.
Find the good opportunities. Search through Instagram, Facebook and other sites to find targets of interest.
After finding an attractive target, leverage your network. You see your sellside buddy from college is a mutual friend with the target on facebook, you make contact with them and seek an introduction.
Turns out your buddy from college is close friends with her, for this reason you offer them the sellside mandate for the deal.
The newly appointed sellside deal team arranges an introduction at a networking event (party). You make small talk with the target and realize that your interests and ambitions are aligned for the medium term. You get her contact details and agree to continue discussions.
The sellside team facilitates a data room (group chat) so they can relay the messages received from the target to the potential acquirer. Throughout the dataroom process, all parties interests remain aligned.
Make the investment. After all the hard work you finally seal the deal. Both parties are satisfied with the investment. As payment to the sellside team you provide them with a few boxes of beer.
The hold period. You are now part of the business and understand it fully. Despite the investment tracking well over the hold period, you can't help but notice the minor imperfections which weren't picked up in the dataroom process. You begin to disagree on matters around the board table (move to the suburbs and start a family vs. still wants to dedicate Saturdays to the boys) and it is agreed that the acquirer shall exit the investment.
The exit process ends up dragging on longer than both parties originally anticipated due to the acquirer still having headroom in the hold period and contemplating staying committed to the deal for a couple more years while trying to overcome any imperfections of the business.
The acquirer finds a new target and exits to free up resources.
Your investment has been successful and the IRR is through the roof. You celebrate with the deal teams involved (the boys) and revert back to step 1 to deploy some more....capital.
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