Caught with phonesex - will i be fired?

PowerLoser's picture
Rank: Chimp | 15

I'm an IBD associate at a BB in NY. Since it is unbelievably difficult to find some time to meet the ladies, I occasionally (2-3 times a week at most) use my company cell to call 1-900 services, usually on my way home in the black car. Now apparently those jealous friggin lowlifes in accounting have noticed that my cell phone bill was unusually high and told HR that I've been calling those numbers. I've been asked to come into a meeting with HR this morning, and they threatened to get me fired if it happens again. Now I'm extremely concerned, because i have been using these services a lot for the past few weeks, and it will obviously show up on my next statement, even if I quit using them now. Has anyone been in a situation like this?

I can tell you I'm extremely pissed. I think what HR is doing is extremely unfair, because our cell phone policy allows us to occassionally use our company phones for personal calls. Also, I know a lot of people at my firm who call 1-900 numbers, even VPs, so I feel I'm singled out and made an example of just because I was unlucky enough to get caught first. Do you think I should report the other cases I know of at my firm to HR? I'd hate to tell on my colleagues, but I guess it would help me save my job, as they obviously cannot fire everyone. Tell me what you think.

Comments (42)

Mar 14, 2007

I call bullshit. Sorry, but something about this just doesn't sound right. Calling 900 numbers from your black car? From your Blackberry? And you have an "Accounting" department that talks to HR? Hmm.

Mar 14, 2007

Well this is a shame. F;n accountants were just envious because you were getting some via phone. What do they expect you to do?

Here's what I think you should do. Since you're going to certainly lose your job once the new phone statement is disclosed, you might as well focus - and I mean FOCUS - whack off 24/7 on that 1-900 line for the next few days and really get 'em back. Bastards!

Mar 14, 2007

It is a company phone...do you look up porn on the internet on a company computer during company time as well? Perhaps because he (whoever that is) is doing it too? You should have used your own dime to call a 900 number as well as your own phone.

Mar 14, 2007
Gibbon:

It is a company phone...do you look up porn on the internet on a company computer during company time as well? Perhaps because he (whoever that is) is doing it too? You should have used your own dime to call a 900 number as well as your own phone.

Agree, with hindsight, you're very right, it wasn't worth the risk... But as i said, we are normally allowed to make personal phone calls from time to time, so i had no idea they'd have an issue with that. Besides, a few extra $100's on my bill is peanuts relative to our total cost base. It's ridiculous that they are even wasting their time on this.

And no, i don't watch porn on company computers during company time. I'm not that stupid, and most of these sites are blocked anyway. Also, remember that i was not calling these nrs during company time. It was all after work. Not once did I call a 1-900 line during normal working hours.

Mar 14, 2007

Yeah... even if this little story is real, I can't imagine an associate risking the job that all his immense expensive education won him just to call a 900 number in a black car from his work Blackberry while the driver was listening. If you're going to do this, use your own cell. You make enough money to pay for it.

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Mar 14, 2007
Mis Ind:

Yeah... even if this little story is real, I can't imagine an associate risking the job that all his immense expensive education won him just to call a 900 number in a black car from his work Blackberry while the driver was listening.

It was a listen-only line, so the driver didn't know shit. And if you don't understand why I was "riksing the job that my immense expensive education (yeah right) won me" that probably means you just dont understand male needs. I petty your boyfriend.

Mar 14, 2007
PowerLoser:
Mis Ind:

Yeah... even if this little story is real, I can't imagine an associate risking the job that all his immense expensive education won him just to call a 900 number in a black car from his work Blackberry while the driver was listening.

It was a listen-only line, so the driver didn't know shit. And if you don't understand why I was "riksing the job that my immense expensive education (yeah right) won me" that probably means you just dont understand male needs. I petty your boyfriend.

Where does she mention that she's has a b/f in this thread?

Sucks man. When I was at ML, a few times the phone bills would easily pop over $200, but it wasn't due to a 900 #.

Mar 14, 2007

A few extra hundred is peanuts? Wow... what firm do you work at? You must have the loosest expenses on the street. I work at a bulge bracket and even my taxi tips are scrutinized. My entire expense report is rejected if I tip more than a buck fifty on a ten-buck ride. Not even our MDs can slip an extra hundred into their expenses anywhere... I know because I sit next to a row of assistants, and they spend all day trying to get even the legitimate expenses to go through without being rejected.

Mar 14, 2007

Immorality is the death of man. You shouldn't have been doing this in the first place.

Mar 14, 2007

i love some of the crap i read on this forum. it's just so damn entertaining.

and it baffles me how smart some people are to do some of the things they do. common sense...?

Mar 14, 2007
PowerLoser:

Now I'm extremely concerned, because i have been using these services a lot for the past few weeks, and it will obviously show up on my next statement, even if I quit using them now.

Well I wouldn't worry too much about this because those calls will be dated on the statement most likely, and if you do get fired as a result of the next bill, you can point to the dates and say they occurred before the problem was addressed and that you have corrected the situation.

Mar 14, 2007

i mean who has the time to make up fake stories like this? probably some high school senior who just hit puberty and is dreaming about ibanking already

Mar 14, 2007

8/10 would read again.

Mar 14, 2007

just a guess, but this story sounds a lot like Danny Bush = BULLSHIT x 100. Dan, could you maybe have created yet ANOTHER user account to post bullshit stories and see what people would believe?

nobody in their right mind would call a 900 # on the Company phone and think a couple hundred extra is "small peanuts". at least i can't imagine anybody would be that dumb. Danny-boy, i must say you are entertaining though. in case anybody doesn't know yet, dan bush does not work for an iBank or anywhere else...i've had to ban dan bush and his multiple personalities a few times: "dan bush is back" "savingalife" etc etc...

glad to see you are enjoying the forums dan. problem is there are real bankers on this site that can smell your BS. i read some of your posts a few months ago that had me cracking up (you were talking about how your "MD" just came by and dumped a huge pile of work on your desk)

Mar 14, 2007

omg, i swear this is not me.
i swear it.

Mar 14, 2007
PowerLoser:

original post

hi dan bush!!!

EDIT - looks like i wasn't the first one to figure this out.....

Mar 14, 2007
prospie:
PowerLoser:

original post

hi dan bush!!!

EDIT - looks like i wasn't the first one to figure this out.....

looks like prospie is still pissed at me for fucking his mom. sorry bro, but you gotta get over it someday.

Mar 14, 2007
Danny T Bush:

looks like prospie is still pissed at me for fucking his mom. sorry bro, but you gotta get over it someday.

geeze that is original....u really are 'witty as fuck,'!

Mar 14, 2007

and no, i am not the op.

Mar 14, 2007

ur a board lightweight and youll always be a life lightweight -jump off a cliff. but before you do so remind yourself of ur overall assfuckness.

Mar 14, 2007

Just ban his entire IP range and be done with it. It is getting old.

Mar 14, 2007
gradhopes:

Just ban his entire IP range and be done with it. It is getting old.

Lighten up, I'm actually entertained. Finally someone satirizing everyone's dumb questions about "Will I get trouble if I abuse black car / corporate card / office prostitute / etc." It's good stuff.

Mar 14, 2007

that some people honestly think I'm making this up. Hell, I don't have time for that!!

Yes, as some people have pointed out, what I did was incredibly stupid in retrospect, but I guess I just got caught up in the culture of my group. As I mentioned, we are allowed to make personal calls from time to time, and there's a whole bunch of associates who use 1-900 nrs from time to time. I'm not saying I thought it was completely legitimate, but I surely didn't believe I was way out of line. I still wonder if I should go tell on the other guys in my group who did this, that might well save my ass.

And Mis Ind, a couple hundreds IS NOT a big deal. True, yur expense policy is pretty strict too, though not nearly as anal as the one you're describing, where do you work, lehman?? But basically the cost of a few phone calls are completely negligible compared to the fees on even one deal. I think that becoming too cost-conscious in this business is basically counterproductive, much better to focus on bringing in deal flow and generating revenues. If you really think as if the few calls I made are a big deal, your head is DEEP in your ass, and you need to pull it out urgently...

Mar 15, 2007

Pity, not petty. This guy is definitely not an associate anywhere. I've seen associates misplace punctuation in informal communication, but NEVER substitute words that are vague aural cognates of each other.

He also said, "I think that becoming too cost-conscious in this business is basically counterproductive."

When do associates say, "I think" and then follow it up with a critique of the business? And when do they think that their opinion actually matters and that banks that disagree need to pull heads out of asses? If you were at a real bank like mine, my friend, you'd understand that we have to justify and fight for every single expense dollar that isn't completely normal (black cars, taxis, and Seamless). I once tried to spend my meal allowance at the sandwich shop across the street instead of ordering. That did NOT go well.

Also, as I'm sure most of us know, bankers do not get to justify their expenses based on the fees they bring in. Expenses are expenses. There's little or no leeway (except for closing dinners) to spend more if you make more. The bank's opinion is that you should use the money they pay you in order to do those things.

Mar 15, 2007
Mis Ind:

Pity, not petty. This guy is definitely not an associate anywhere. I've seen associates misplace punctuation in informal communication, but NEVER substitute words that are vague aural cognates of each other.

He also said, "I think that becoming too cost-conscious in this business is basically counterproductive."

When do associates say, "I think" and then follow it up with a critique of the business? And when do they think that their opinion actually matters and that banks that disagree need to pull heads out of asses? If you were at a real bank like mine, my friend, you'd understand that we have to justify and fight for every single expense dollar that isn't completely normal (black cars, taxis, and Seamless). I once tried to spend my meal allowance at the sandwich shop across the street instead of ordering. That did NOT go well.

Also, as I'm sure most of us know, bankers do not get to justify their expenses based on the fees they bring in. Expenses are expenses. There's little or no leeway (except for closing dinners) to spend more if you make more. The bank's opinion is that you should use the money they pay you in order to do those things.

I never get hassled over all the expenses you are talking about. Guess it sucks to work where you are.

Mar 15, 2007
Mis Ind:

Pity, not petty. This guy is definitely not an associate anywhere. I've seen associates misplace punctuation in informal communication, but NEVER substitute words that are vague aural cognates of each other.

Apparently people at your bank are as anal about language as they are about expenses then. And this is a message board, for christ's sake, not an exec summary! Besides, these mixups DO happen all the time (just think of there/their, were/where,...).

Mis Ind:

He also said, "I think that becoming too cost-conscious in this business is basically counterproductive."

When do associates say, "I think" and then follow it up with a critique of the business?

Maybe on message boards, at the very least?! Have you become such a mindless processing lemming that you have erased any and all personal opinions from your tiny little brain? What place do you work at? Barely any food allowance, no personal opinions allowed even on msg boards? Sounds like communist china more than an ibank.

Mis Ind:

And when do they think that their opinion actually matters and that banks that disagree need to pull heads out of asses? If you were at a real bank like mine, my friend, you'd understand that we have to justify and fight for every single expense dollar that isn't completely normal (black cars, taxis, and Seamless). I once tried to spend my meal allowance at the sandwich shop across the street instead of ordering. That did NOT go well.

Honestly, this is NOT normal. I've never seen anything like that at my bank. Are you sure you aren't part of the janitorial staff?

Mar 15, 2007
Mis Ind:

When do associates say, "I think" and then follow it up with a critique of the business?

You don't use it when speaking with the senior people (unless it's informally) but use of the words "I think" amongst the junior is okay.

You must work in a dreadful group.

Mar 15, 2007

why would someone have the time to fabricate such a story/....? What a "Powerloser" for real...!

Mar 15, 2007

Eh... well, I can't really deny that. I thought all banks were this bad, but perhaps they're not. Are you at a BB IBD? There seems to be a huge cycle of costcutting in the bulges.

We also have almost no access to research, AND people have started getting in trouble for using each others' Seamless. Not a great place to work.

Mar 15, 2007
Mis Ind:

Eh... well, I can't really deny that. I thought all banks were this bad, but perhaps they're not. Are you at a BB IBD? There seems to be a huge cycle of costcutting in the bulges.

We also have almost no access to research, AND people have started getting in trouble for using each others' Seamless. Not a great place to work.

I'm at a BB IBD, but in a regional office. Haven't felt the cost-cutting here yet.

Mar 15, 2007

Oh man, that sounds sweet. The word is that, just a year ago, people were expensing restaurant visits while working from the office and expensing $100 bar tabs while traveling. Must have been nice.

Mar 15, 2007
Mis Ind:

Oh man, that sounds sweet. The word is that, just a year ago, people were expensing restaurant visits while working from the office and expensing $100 bar tabs while traveling. Must have been nice.

Wow, that's what I do now. I didn't know some of the places would be the stingy.

Mar 15, 2007

Yep. Analyst, bulge bracket, top or near the top of most league tables. Telling it like it is.

Mar 15, 2007

Mobile Service Providers block 900 calls.

Mar 15, 2007

I kinda wondered about that, Nater.

Mar 15, 2007

cellphone companies would never take on that liability.

Sprint:

"Pay-Per-Call Service. We will not complete calls from your Number to 900, 976 and similar numbers for pay-per-call services."

Mar 15, 2007

Makes sense. If that's true, then that's yet another reason why this guy is BSing.

Mar 15, 2007
Mis Ind:

Makes sense. If that's true, then that's yet another reason why this guy is BSing.

It does make sense that some cariers block those calls, but we have verizon and it works. Actually, the fact that these nrs aren't blocked is another reason why i thought it was probably ok to use these services (within reason).

Apr 17, 2007

So what happened? Update PowerLoser, update!!!

Mar 15, 2007
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Mar 15, 2007
Apr 17, 2007
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