Christmas Lists-- Banker Style

Fellow WSO-ers,

For those of you who are also not studying like they should be... I have attached an exemplary Finance-related Christmas List... I found this amusing, enjoy

North Pole Naughtiness and Niceness Management
Dear Head Elf,

This letter expresses my earnest desire to be on Mr. Claus’s Nice List and participate in the Christmas Present Exchange. I know that I will be an excellent participant because I have been a very good boy all year and I deserve to be a participant. I am interested in The Present Exchange because I want to experience the thrill of the trade and play the game on the same level as Santa Claus and the other leaders of the Industry.
I believe that the Christmas Present Exchange would benefit from my passion for the Holidays.

When I was a child I had a traumatic experience with presents. My sister ruined the surprise of one of my presents when she committed the extremely unethical act of snooping. This was in a different age when the SEC did not have strict regulations regarding snooping and other unfair trade practices. This experience shaped me for life and I know that it has invigorated me to be an excellent trader with high levels of integrity and risk management.

I believe that my skills and enthusiasm will help add value to The Present Exchange, and allow me to reach my goal of experiencing the Holidays. You will find a list of items that I would love to trade.
Thank you for your consideration. I will contact you within three weeks to leave cookies and carrots by the fireplace.

Respectfully,

XXXXXX

Christmas List

In order of preference
1.) Internship at Goldman Sachs, Special Situations Group
2.) Interview at Goldman Sachs (or equivalent)
3.) Hug with George Soros
4.) Handshake with George Soros
5.) See George Soros from afar
6.) Cufflinks that belonged to Alfred Winslow Jones (1st Hedge Fund manager)
7.) To burn the Dodd-Frank Act
8.) Separate Bank of America and Merrill Lynch (It is sacrilege)
9.) A bespoke Suit
10.) More Loafers
11.) Hermes

 

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