Client fuck ups

We've seen countless discussions about interns that fuck up, analysts that fuck up, interviewees that fuck up, and even occasionally MDs that fuck up. Most of these threads are filled with gold, and some with advice for weird dick exercises.

It's time we took ourselves and our colleagues out of the hot seat. What are some of the biggest client fuck ups you've seen?

I'll kick it off: one of our clients decided to take NWC negotiations into their own hands, and walked away with a 50% increase to the cash to be left in the business, with nothing in return.

 

Not mine, but heard this one from an associate at a well regarded firm on here.

They were working sell side for a Private Equity firm that had not kept track of historical financials.....I mean FFS you KNOW that you will be exiting at a multiple based off of historical EBITDA and you can't be assed to keep track of that number?

 

Whatever their reasons, Monsanto may very well be one of the leaders in helping reduce world hunger for the decades to come. On the other hand, their products killed a few rats, so yeah, really dangerous. Better get out of aspartame too while I'm in a stupid mood.

It strikes me as funny that companies like Inbev seem OK to most people (DUIs alone kill more than any other drug) while oil companies (that make food distribution way cheaper, as Monsanto may do as well) are labeled as evil.

I would be more bothered by being on IB in general getting extreme pressure to produce "optimistic" numbers for the IPO.

 

if you don't, someone else will....

"After you work on Wall Street it’s a choice, would you rather work at McDonalds or on the sell-side? I would choose McDonalds over the sell-side.” - David Tepper
 

There are a lot of companies worthy of condemnation, but Monsanto and Koch are not among them. I have far a far greater disdain for companies that flagrantly destroy shareholder value. Unfortunately, investment banks help a lot of companies destroy value through acquisitions, unnecessary debt offerings, etc.

Ultimately, I wouldn't worry about what your clients are doing. Oreos is right - if you don't serve them, somebody else will. You are not endorsing your clients' decisions by serving them.

 

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