Networking Topics? What do you talk about?

I realized that in my informational interviews, I've been sometimes stumped because:

1) I don't know enough about investment banking or related terminologies to carry a full conversation with a few year analyst or associate
2) Can't seem to detect their interests that I can spark up and small talk about (I'm fairly knowledgeable in broad topics but I'm unsure of which direction I should lead the talk to in order to create a spark between me and the banker

What do you guys do? If you guys stalk them, how do you stalk them to find about about their interests? And how do you lead a conversation to that direction?
Any example would be wonderful.

 

how big their dick is, how much money they made last year...

just have a normal conversation. networking is not just about throwing around as many buzz words as possible and trying to stroke your investment banking boner. get to know the person you are talking with on a personal level and the rest will fall into line. obviously come prepared with a few "how did you get into banking" questions, but by no means should you have a list of questions which you just fire at someone. Put some thought into the conversation before hand, research the person a little bit and tailor 3 or 4 questions to their experiences. Besides that, just have a casual conversation and get to know the person.

The person who is much more personable and easy to talk to will always get an interview over the guy who threw around banking terms and was clearly just trying to use the person for connections.

"My name's Ralph Cox, and I'm from where ever's not gonna get me hit"
 

All of the above advice is very sound. Talk to the person, ask them about their story, and ask personalized questions rather than something canned. Also remember that they don't need to talk to you. The reason they are is because they want to feel useful and give advice--so respond positively to the advice they give you.

The other important thing to keep in mind is that you will not click with everybody. I've very rarely had an overtly terrible conversation but there are definitely times where our backgrounds had absolutely nothing in common and we just simply didn't have much tot talk about. That's fine, don't get discouraged, move forward.

 

When you don't have much to talk about and the conversations starts turning into an interview, what is the smoothest way to excuse yourself from that person?

 

"Well, John, it was really nice to meet you. I really enjoyed hearing about your skydiving adventure. I'm going to try and meet a few more people before I need to head home."

"Everybody needs money. That's why they call it money." - Mickey Bergman - Heist (2001)
 

Well first keep in mind that most of the time even an interview is helpful if it's a cold connection. People love to talk about themselves, especially IB analysts since people have massive egos and get shat on constantly. Second, if it's gotten to the point were you ask something or try to bring up a commonality and they just aren't responsive at all, there's no great way out. You just have to ask a concluding question, thank them for their time, and move on.

 
  1. you shouldn't do most of the talking, do most of the questioning

  2. ask open ended questions to get them talking, and when you find a commonality, empathize with it (oh? I'm a preacher's kid too...I played baseball growing up too, what position were you....I got the clap too, how old was yours...etc)

  3. if it's truly networking and not an informational interview, don't ask for anything more than a business card and permission to keep in touch (unless this is assumed).

  4. but, if it's more like an informational interview, ask for advice.

This is where I think most people go wrong. At networking events, it's supposed to be social and just meeting people, if someone were to ask me for advice at one of the associations I frequent, I'd be put off. However, if I'd known them for a few weeks/months and seen them around, I wouldn't be as put off. See the difference? Don't lead with asking for advice unless it's an informational interview, then the other person assumes you will ask for advice (but not a job).

also, would be curious to see what uber-networker @"AcctNerd" has to say.

 
Best Response

Everyone has a story to tell. Some stories are amazing, some stories are bland, some stories are funny, etc. But...EVERYONE has a story to tell. Your job at a networking event is to be a reporter and "get the scoop."

DO NOT turn this into a verbal LinkedIn Profile. Don't ask about work history, ask about the most interesting project they ever worked on. Don't ask where they went to college, ask what they miss the most about being in school.

Don't ask them where they are from, ask them if they could pick any place in the world to live, where would they choose?

Are you getting the picture? You have to play a different game than everyone else networking at the same event. By the next day they will get 150 emails that all say, "Great to meet you, thanks for speaking with me about your firm. I have always wanted to go to [insert Target School] and I'm glad I will join the same alumni base as you later this year."

But...they will only get ONE email (unless I'm there as well) that says, "I am so glad you told me about your experience with the XYZ Merger back in the late 90s. I remember reading about that in school, but hearing some of the first hand accounts of how things worked in the background was amazing. I hope we can run into each other again soon, I'd love to hear more of your war stories and if we have time get some career advice from you so I can have some of those stories myself one day."

All you have to do is keep digging. If the person is boring, uninteresting, or clams up. Swap cards, move to the next person, and say, "Hi, my name is Xxxxxx, everyone seems to be asking the same questions tonight, let's mix it up a bit, tell me about your favorite memory from college."

Don't fake it. If you can't be interested in other people then you need to work on your personality. People know if you are just asking to ask. Be really interesting, and HAVE A STORY TO TELL. If you run into me and ask me an off the wall questions, be prepared to get that question back in return. Don't drone on and on, but be able to answer your own question.

REAL LIFE EXAMPLE:

Last night my wife and I went to dinner with 9 people. As we arrived at the restaurant a HUGE thunderstorm erupted almost directly on top of the restaurant. I could feel the hair on my arms stand up, that is how close the lightening was. Of the 9 people at dinner we knew 2 people. Those people were seated at the end of the table as far from us as possible. I turned to the guy on my left as soon as we were seated and said, "I feel like I almost got struck by lightening. Running in here from the car was probably the craziest thing I've ever done. What about you?"

For the next hour I heard about the time he stood up from his desk at work on a Thursday, packed a bag and flew to Peru for a week. We talked about the trip, how the conversation with his boss went, what his family thought, how hard it was to travel alone in a country where you don't speak the language. We talked about how he figured out what to do with ZERO planning...

Had I done the verbal LinkedIn Profile I would have learned that he is a marketing manager at a major hospital group and went to XYZ University.

I only learned about his job and his school when he connected with me on LinkedIn this afternoon. Turns out, that really isn't the most interesting thing about him, and I PROMISE that everyone you meet is more interesting than their stats.

How's that @"thebrofessor"?

"Everybody needs money. That's why they call it money." - Mickey Bergman - Heist (2001)
 

Basically people will tell you "just be social." But if you already aren't a personable person, then that's like telling you to "just be bleegorp" - it won't mean anything to you.

This is what being social is: being genuinely interested (or appearing that you are) in learning about other people.

If you're having trouble connecting with people you reach out to, you should stop looking at the conversations like a transaction. You don't just input questions and receive the output of their answers. Strop trying so hard to make the spark happen. You're having a goddamn conversation not trying to find the one lever you can pull that'll make them your friend.

If you're having trouble, think about open ended questions that can lead them into talking about themselves, or start caring more about what they say. Seriously, this idea that you can just create a spark is bs.

AcctNerd connected well with the mkt mgr. and talked about that Peru trip because he probably genuinely cared to hear about it (or gave off that impression) enough that they just stayed on one topic for an hour. You can't just say "oh that's cool" and ask him what clubs he did.

You seriously didn't realize this after all the "what's your major" bs in school?

 

If they studied something other than finance (if you also study something other than finance), talk about their major and what they learned. Try leading the conversation towards something you're familiar with on the side, for example: start-ups.

Please, please, please just take the time to be familiar with the industry (and equity markets) in general. I was an idiot when I was a freshman - I told everyone I wanted to do I-Banking even though I had NO IDEA what it even was. Learn at least the main services of an investment bank before even approaching a professional. All these websites like M&I wrong you by talking about the glamor and hardships 90% of the time without mentioning the actual business you're in.

 

Read up on the industry. If you know who you are talking to, at least read a bit of news about the sector they cover, if applicable. Even if it's informational, the person you're talking to can eventually become someone who will either vouch or ding you.

As a primer, you can always just ask about their experiences (how long they've been at the firm, etc) People always love talking about themselves.

 

I typically try and just find out what they do, ask them about their firm, and then find out what else they are interested in. It's pretty easy for me to go back in fourth talking about their work/personal life. Also, everyone usually likes to give advice. So I always ask for it about how to find a good career, where to begin, what is their take on the direction I'm going etc.

 

I'd echo what those above have said. No one wants to give you a breakdown of the deal they worked on or go over interview questions. Keep it relatively high level and just be an interesting and sociable person. Be polite, and don't join a group only to ask the same question that was just answered a minute ago as you're monopolizing my time then.

 

Certainly ask about the job as that's what you're there to do, but also, if you're not too caught in a circle of death, try to find a point of common interest and talk about things outside of work (except religion, politics, etc.) You won't get dinged asking the typical canned recruiting questions but you won't be memorable either.

 
takenotes08:

If it is for a job in a different city and you are feeling bold, you could always ask how the girls are in that city. However, I must say that is a higher beta type question. Aka it could give you an occasion to really connect with the banker if it is an analyst or associate or it could come off as unprofessional.

"Hey man, like bro, so what're the chicks like in Charlotte? How often do you pull on Tinder brah? I'm just really trying to put myself out there, ya know? I've read like 10 PUA articles so let's go pull sometime. I'll be your wingman dude. Push-pull, neg 'em amirite?"

OP, seriously please do not ask this question in a group networking event. Makes you look like a tool.

 

Really have to get a read on the personalities involved, and it depends what level you're talking to but in general i would say just being a normal person goes a long way. Analysts usually like sycophants who they can big-time and pretend like they weren't in the same fawning position 18 months ago. If a VP or MD is like that i would avoid that group.

 

Not a banker but recently attended a recruiting event. And there were three type o kids there. The first kind "Loved" modeling and couldnt talk about anything else. The second kind was "i like modeling but do something other that that" the third kind was "i love the rangers or big bang theory, and the markets but modeling sucks." I'd take 3 over any of the other guys any day. You can teach modeling but you cant teach personality or true passion. Just show up and be yourself. Dont fake anything, that will only come back and bite you in the asss.

If you have to fake who you are at a networking event, then reevaluate why you are at the event.

"The way to make money is to buy when blood is running in the streets." -John D. Rockefeller
 

What should YOU talk about?

Bad question. Odds are that this guy isn't talking to you because he thinks you're interesting. He's talking to you because he likes you in some way or other.

The question is what should you get HIM to talk about. With most personalities the correct answer is "himself", and this is doubly true in fields like finance where you have a lot of aggressive personalities with big egos.

 

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