Cover Letter review would be greatly appreciated

Hi guys,

I was wondering if anyone can provide me with some feedback regarding my cover letter. Can I also ask you to review my English grammar and spelling, since I'm not an English native speaker?

I really appreciate any feedback you can give me.

Thanks in advance.
MarbledBanker

Razume:
http://www.razume.com/documents/10755

 
Best Response

This won't work. You need to get to why you're a great candidate more explicitly. In your first sentence, tell me which companies you've worked for and/or in what finance capacity. I don't think your second paragraph is necessary. It's not subtle (they did a deal and therefore you want to work there) and doesn't really make a good point about why you should work there.

Your third paragraph, which is where you talk about this stuff, is too general. Give the reader facts to support your "solid results". What types of financial models have you built? What types of valuation methodologies? The letter needs to offer more of this type of information, and a lot less of the niceties and platitudes about the bank.

Take a look at the good and bad cover letter example from Gotta Mentor at this link. This might help. http://www.gottamentor.com/viewDocument.aspx?d=2156

It's clear that you're not a native English speaker. While you're grammar isn't terrible, you should definitely have a native English speaker review it to make it more fluid before you send it off.

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