I accepted a job offer in another state from my SO, who I've been with for a little over 3 years.
I searched for jobs in a different state because he had a job offer, which initially was local, but due to COVID, would've required relocation to a city that neither of us wanted to be in long-term. Admittedly, I was furious that he had even considered it but came to realize I didn't want to stand in the way of his career. He assured me the job would be a stepping stone and he'd quit after 2-3 years. Ultimately, the offer was rescinded.
At this point, I was in the early stages of interviewing for a job I had considered to be a long shot. I withheld that it was in a another state until I gotand case study, which was entirely wrong on my part. The job was in a city we had lightly discussed moving to in the future several times, and upon telling him prior to the final interview, he didn't raise an issue. Leading up to the offer, he reassured me that he was supportive with the move and could see himself having a career there.
It wasn't until I accepted that he backtracked. It was a number slightly higher than what we discussed we'd be comfortable relocating with, not to mention $25k+ my current salary.
Since then, we've had several arguments, where I eventually compromised and decided I'd take the job for 2-3 years as a stepping stone. He was supportive of this decision but refused to relocate with me and opted for long distance. (The majority of our relationship was long distance since we went to different colleges).
A couple weeks pass and we get in another argument, where he says my decision was calculated, manipulative, and done out of spite, and if I went through with the job, there was no going back.
Prior to this argument, I debated taking the job as I didn't want to leave him even for a few years and put our future in jeopardy. Our relationship had been incredibly rocky the past year (to the point where we both considered ending it), but I was willing to give up a dream job to make it work.
However, the ultimatum kind of rubbed me the wrong way. I do understand where he's coming from, but it sucks to find out he'd stand in the way of my career progression when I was willing to be supportive of his.
TLDR: I accepted job in a different state and my SO is giving me an ultimatum.
What would you do in my situation? Am I completely in the wrong here?