Critique this bad boy

Hey everyone,

I am and undergrad looking for an internship (could be boutique and unpaid) at either IB/PE/HF. Let me know your honest opinion. It's better I get thrown monkey shit here than at the interview room.

http://www.razume.com/documents/20297

 
reddog23:
Is the University of London the international program?

Also, you may wish to take finance out of your interests. It seems necessary in my mind, though that may just be me.

Yes, it is the international program. I was wondering if I should put the words "international program" in but then again it seemed rather obvious since I placed Singapore as the country of my education. Any takes on this?

 
Elijah:
reddog23:
Is the University of London the international program?

Also, you may wish to take finance out of your interests. It seems necessary in my mind, though that may just be me.

Yes, it is the international program. I was wondering if I should put the words "international program" in but then again it seemed rather obvious since I placed Singapore as the country of my education. Any takes on this?

It probably depends on where you are applying. To be honest, at first glance, it appeared as if you had listed the wrong city/made a typo but that was only because I had never heard of the international program. I'm guessing this will be less of an issue if you are applying for an internship in Singapore though.

 
Elijah:
In RSAF, you take off, fly, and land all by yourself within the first 14 sessions (about 1 month).
That probably weeds out the people who don't catch on rather quickly
If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford
 

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