Cutting off negative influences in your life, even the close ones?
It's currently 1 am and I had a major falling out with my parents today.
They say to cut off negative influences in your life that emotionally drain you, but should I really be cutting off my family? My mom, stepdad, and step sister? My dad's a deadbeat so my mom's side is really all I have.
Sitting in my apartment and am incredibly emotionally distraught. My family are huge negative emotional and time drains. Cutting off negative influences, should I really be cutting off all negative influences in my life, even my own kin?
Looking for advice from people who have had major falling outs with their family, and how they handled it, and if they wished they had handled it differently. Any and all advice is appreciated
Did not really have your standard emotional fallout but I do have a chain of event involving domestic violence, child abandonment and suicide so I think I'm qualified. You can either choose the unhealthy solution: purge all connection you have with your family and get rid of some other bad influences in your life at the same time and focus on your own development. I did this and became really good at what I do at a young age. But the cons is you would become emotionally distance and hold on almost desperately to whatever you think is good in your life, which often not really is. Healthy solution: Keep your family on a short lease, try to develop better relationship with your mom's side and continue to focus on what you want in life; turn vision into reality and don't let anyone stop you. Once you have a purpose, it is really easy to feel happy.
Also, people with really bad mommy daddy issues tend to be seek control impulsively despite resistance. Great for leadership role, not great for personal relationship.
When Zarathustra was thirty years old, he left his home and the lake of his home, and went into the mountains. There he enjoyed his spirit and solitude, and for ten years did not weary of it.
When it comes to parents, generally limited interaction heals. They get older and miss their kids, especially when they are retired.
Everyone else gets a second chance but when that is done, I never want to see or hear from them again.
Theres a quote by this guy Grant Cardone, a multi hundred millionaire real estate investor and sales trainer.
He said he wouldnt want his mom as a business partner.
Every time he would talk about how he wants to be a billionaire and help others, she would say, I love you just the way you are. And not push him to be better.
Theres a time and a place for people. Remember that.
Life is always a balance too. You see a lot of people whose parents pushed them hard and they burn out and resent their parents. On the flip side you see people resent their parents for not pushing them. Parenting sounds pretty damn hard.
But swinging from one extreme to another is hardly ever healthy. As mentioned above by Highly Levered Cat- strike that balance to be healthy.
Been in a similar situation - don't completely cut them out, but reduce the amount of time you spend with them to a minimum. Your family is important and will always be there for you. Go see them for Thanksgiving/Xmas/Your mom's bday only.
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