Dating a girl from another country - am I naive to think she's definitely not using me for citizenship?
So I've been dating this girl from a Latin American country for 2 months and we're already super into each other. She's an au pair and will be in the US until next Summer. We have spent most weekends together these past 2 months, and she usually stays over a night during the week. We laugh until we cry, have similar interests/ideals, get along great overall, and the sexual chemistry is 10/10. There has not been a moment where I ever thought she was faking liking me or using me; if she was, she's the best actor I have ever seen.
I never brought up suspicions of her using me for marriage/citizenship because she never gave off any red flags or those vibes at all. About 2 weeks ago, we met one of her other au pair friends from a Latin American country, who is dating a guy from the US, and mentioned that they plan on getting married, even though they are kind of an odd match. I asked her if it's common for au pairs to date guys from the US for citizenship, and she said yes. I didn't say anything then she asked if I thought she was trying to do that, which I answered honestly, no. She then went on about how she's definitely not trying to do that and genuinely looked like she felt bad if she gave off that vibe, and said she does not expect me to propose to her or anything like that to keep her in the US and get her citizenship here, even though she does want to stay in the states. It was nice hearing this from her, even though again, she never once gave off vibes that she was faking anything or using me.
What do yall think? I've had my fair share of long-term relationships, and I can honestly say I have never felt this connected to someone else before and does feel 100% real.
Start hiding your cash in secret places bro, she's 100% gonna divorce-rape you
Prenup buddy; sign one, and if she refuses or gets offended, she wasn't the one
I don't have enough money to where a prenup would even matter, and the question is over citizenship, not money. Lastly, she doesn't expect me to propose before she has to leave the country and I don't plan on it.
Hey! I really hope this doesn’t come off the wrong way. I was an au pair in a wealthy area in Europe and broadly speaking, it was very common knowledge/a joke among my European friends, that the girls from the Philippines, Brazil, and Central America were looking for (wealthy!) husband because it meant a much “easier” (again relative) life for them.
The easiest way to figure out if she’s using you (although kinda difficult) is to figure out if she’s sending money home. When I was an au pair I made about $600/month and spent it all at bars, getting dinner, clothes, traveling etc but there were girls who sent all of the money home because they made more money being an au pair (with the terrible pay) than they would in their home country.
I’m more than willing to DM you if you need anything else. If it’s just a fling and you don’t expect it to last forever, just have fun.
P.S. Lots of families take advantage of girls from Central/south America, Madagascar and the Philippines/Indonesia so please encourage her to stick up for herself! Some these people have horror stories of how the family treated them.
Would appreciate a DM to hear more of your experience, thank you!
Even if you find out she's not sending money home, she could still be using you. Much more accurate way for you to find out if she's using you or not is finding out if her household is above-average well-off family. check if she's getting money from her family and they're really well-off enough not having to use their daughter to make some extra money in a foreign country. This is much more accurate way to figure out.
Just go for the love. If you love her - nothing else matters.
Facts
The fuck did she get here but my foreign girl didn't? Au pair is supposed to be lower in priority compared to fiancé visa and most embassies are only processing limited applications. For this reason I think this story is fake unless she got here before the pandemic.
Anyways, rant aside, if you enter an au pair program that usually means you really like the country you're staying at. That doesn't mean she's using you but that is definitely on her radar.
The embassies are processing visas for au pairs. It’s a pretty easy visa (j-1) because there’s no path to citizenship and it’s a 1 year visa with the option to extend it an additional year and the au pair visa is tied to your contract with the family. I’m not op but I doubt is fake because I know a handful of people who are currently au pairing in the US who arrived during the spring and summer. Basically if the contract between the family and au pair is terminated and the au pair doesn’t rematch, the au pair needs to leave the country.
What country? The fuck.... I gotta get her moved there in that case, since Russia isn't doing anything due to Putin being a little bitch (unrelated to COVID, look it up)
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