Dating market sentiment
We’ve all skimmed through that Atlantic article on assortative mating, but how much do you take a partner’s potential future earnings into account when dating?
I’ve always been of the school of thought of “idgaf where, or if, she studied, what she does, or how much she makes” but, as the years pile on and an entire summer of blacking out at buddies’ weddings winds down, I’m wondering if that’s a sound life strategy. We may be on level playing fields for conspicuous consuming for the time being but will I be the Oliver Twist in the pack should I end up with a once-hot SUNY grad [still] working as a part-time admin while they’re hitched to a Big Law/ MBB Partner? Will I be relegated to my stool in the crowded Admirals Club while I watch them waltz into the Flagship Lounge?
My mother was a housewife and that was chill and all but I’m just as ill-adjusted as my buddies who were raised by nannies. We’ve grown up with this narrative that kids who grew up with SAHMs are better off, but I’m not the one who talks to my Mommy on the phone 3x a week—they are. Is it so important to pick a girl with ‘motherly intuition’ who will probably end up yelling at the kids, watching reruns of the Bachelor all day long and contributing nothing to support my increasingly disturbing habit of collecting watches that I do not need?
It’s not like my friends’ wives are cold robots devoid of empathy or the capacity to nurture a living being. And at least they are rational, and kind of funny, which is not something that I can say about most of my past dalliances with a straight face, nor are they any less hot. My only fear is that, should I raise my dating standards from the comparatively very low bar they’re at now (ie just be hot), will I also need to raise my efforts? I’m more of a show up when I’m bored, “u up?” at 2am kinda guy.
So, monkeys, should I start setting my Education preferences on the League to ‘Highly Competitive’? I really want to own like 3 Vacherons one day.
Thx
Alright so first of all, after deciphering your long message, I come to the conclusion that your "dating" refers to one night stands. Or, at best, you're a serial monogamist. In that case, I'd keep doing what you're doing. Eventually (hopefully) you'll be tied down to a dope chick and faithful (I assume). You might as well bang as many chicks as you possibly can, because when you're 50 and married, you won't have the opportunities that you do now. My step brother is married with two kids and he's only 36. Got married when he was 24 or 25. He lives vicariously through my stories (not saying that they are anything special) and is constantly calling me through out the week wanting to know what my weekend was like. You might as well live it up right now.
But I totally get where you're coming from. My standards for sleeping and standards for dating are very different. My buddies are settling down with some great girls. My time will come eventually.
Ya but what if I end up waking up one morning at 40 with a slight gut and slowly but steadily receding hairline because all the good ones are snatched up by their mid 30s?
Maybe your Brah thinks it’s chill but no one thinks the older bachelor is living the life. Not his married friends, not ‘quality’ girls, not his senior management team
Gotta start early on this if I’m going to do it. So should I go long or nah?
How old are you? It might shed some light on this subject.
There are no "great and chill girls" there are only women who start going slightly crazier at age 30, and then batshit crazy at menopause.
I think it has been scientifically proven that women begin to go crazy immediately after a specific event in their life:
birth.
This is one thing you can't systematize. Mostly...
Y tho
Because life is nuanced and a relationship is probably the most complicated thing you'll ever do.
I have someone I hired to run my Tinder/Bumble and he does a fairly good job of acting as a screen + saving me time. OP if you're working a lot then using a managed service like that is 100% worth it.
You can systematize Tinder. I did that and wrote a blog about it like 5 years ago. All that gets you though is dates with essentially random people. May as well go to a bar and save your money. You're applying finance nerd thinking to dating and it will not work. It is a whole different game.
Why do you need to pay someone to mindlessly swipe right and respond to emojis and “Heyyyy”s?
I like dating girls that are super driven but they're pretty hard to find, although driven people in general are hard to find.
School is a pretty shitty filter FYI. I've interviewed a lot of stupid people that went to "good" school and received terrible pitches from them too. The best thing to look at is what difficult things people have managed to work through and how they did it/overall ability to learn quickly and adapt.
Personalities are gonna clash going that route. Read Beyond Mars & Venus
Care to explain further sir?
Successful older women
I’m fully aware the below is a generalization, but in certain pockets of major metro areas the woman I’m describing is common. More than likely she’ll help contribute to your “increasingly disturbing habit of collecting watches” (I lol’d at that by the way, thank you) and when you dig a little deeper, you may find that her own watch/rolodex/multifamily portfolio dwarfs yours. I realize this isn’t for everyone, but I can’t recommend dating older women highly enough. Benefits off the top of my head, no particular order:
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