Deciding to See a Therapist/Psychologist

Recently there's been some threads about people having anxiety and them trying to cope with it. I'm sure the current climate definitely doesn't help. I also think that not having that many people to talk to on a consistent enough daily basis (in my case, have a shitty roommate that's thankfully moving out, the rent is so cheap that I won't need another one immediately) has made me have more existential thoughts and seriously affected my work performance. Here's some issues I've been thinking about lately:

1. One of my parents was recently diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer and is projected to have a year to live, although their treatment has been a bit better recently. My other parent has been battling leukemia for about 10 years and it's been getting better, but could still become a problem at any time. This is the number 1 thing on my mind that's making me question life more existentially, but also whether I'm progressing as fast as I think I should be. I have a deep rooted fear that the parent is not proud of me, although I think that's more of my own perception than the actual case. There have been some other deaths in the family that I'm going to have to figure out what to do with the aftermath of (deciding how to help my parent with the family house not falling into disrepair, or into the hands of the self-serving other side of the family that I'm personally not familiar with). Both of my parents are immigrants and came to the US with no money and barely speaking English, and have done well for themselves. They're my heroes. I'd like to emulate them as best I can. Unfortunately, their marriage has had its problems, and I believe has only remained in tact for my sake, though it appears to have gotten better recently in light of recent events. Needless to say, this all has seriously affected my work output and I don't feel as engaged, making it hard to focus on tasks.

2. I don't like my current job at all. My manager micromanages me excessively, and there's been a lot of turnover on my team before I joined from what I've heard. They're generally nice, but on a day to day basis it's getting to be too much. I've talked about this with them, and also disclosed my first point above (not sure whether I should have done that), and it seemed to be going well for a couple weeks but lately has picked up again. On top of that, they are incredibly condescending and belittle me constantly, so it is pretty demoralizing. I have not yet dealt with senior mgmt on a meaningful basis, but from what Glassdoor said and some other people whose opinion I respect have said they are very self-serving and generally not supportive. Beyond that, I do not care at all about my asset class and only took the current position about a potential opportunity the firm was considering but has since not closed a deal, and there's been recent talk of shutting down that strategy entirely. I'm afraid of getting pigeon-holed in my current asset class.

3. I'm considering relocating to NYC, but I'm not sure about the current environment with the pandemic affecting logistics, the current job market's appetite, and the fact that I would be much further from my parents (currently only a ~3 hour drive). I have decided that I will ultimately move, but with everything up in the area, I have to get comfortable with the fact that it might not happen as fast as I'd like it to. I'm trying to exhaust all my opportunities for the industry I'd like to break into locally, and once that's done then I'll seriously consider how to make the move work.

4. The general sense of anxiety caused by the above is bleeding into the rest of my life. My local gym has closed completely, and the one in the office remains closed, so I haven't had an opportunity to blow of steam. Like some recent posts, I've struggled with healthy eating recently, binge drinking, and intense mood swings. I'm not currently in a relationship, which is ok for my age, but a majority of everyone I know is in serious long term relationships, and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't something that I'd like to have. At the same time, I think it would be best to personally work on myself before throwing this all on someone else, that doesn't seem fair.

I've tried reading more recently and meditating as well, though I'm very inconsistent at both and actively working on both. I've also explored my religious heritage as well, something I never thought I would be doing. Not a Jesus freak or anything, but it's nice to have something to believe in and find some solace in every so often. There are no atheists in foxholes.

However, I've been lately feeling very disengaged and distant personally, though I think I do a very good job of masking it to my friends and acquaintances and thus bottle things up in an unhealthy manner. I'm scared of not being able to release it in a healthy way which could potentially lead to something bad happening (arguments, violence, depression, etc.). I understand that some of my issues are somewhat common and not the end of the world, that I should be happy that I still have a job (for the foreseeable future), and that I still have both of my parents alive, but at times it can feel like it's all too much.

I'm always amazed at the community on this site, it's been instrumental in helping me figure out what I want to do with my career and it's been equally inspiring to read the personal advice people give to others who have felt this way. I'm deciding whether seeing a professional is something I should look into, and what is the best way to find someone that would work best for who I am.