Depressing Rant

First of all, sorry for the negative energy.
 

I just had 10 first round IB interviews in two days. Five on each day. I Bombed all of them. Didn't get any SD out of them. Still have 6 more next Monday. This last 6 is really life or death to me. This is my only chance to get into IB. I am so sad. I hate myself so bad. I'm so depressed. 

Before winter break, I planned to study for the technicals over the break. However I was super stressed and depressed I couldn't study. I tried to book a therapist, but the earliest appointment available is in February. So I went to the emergency room trying to talk to somebody, they said they couldn't talk to me, they can only prescribe me SSRI. They told me the SSRI would make me feel worse the first couple weeks and will also make me feel sleepy. So I didn't take the drugs because I needed to prep for interview. I couldn't concentrate at all. I barely read the 400 guide. I want to study but I just can't concentrate. I hate myself so bad. I didn't know how I received all the interviews. Felt like I didn't deserve to be interviewed. I don't know what to do now.

Comments (17)

  • Analyst 1 in IB-M&A
Jan 8, 2022 - 12:47am

It sounds like you got that far based off of your behaviorals. They must like your personality and see you as a good fit! Sorry to hear about your depression, but the best thing to do now is hunker down Saturday and Sunday and study technicals for 16 hours. Flash cards back and forth until you know the concept through and through. You got this! It takes a few super days to practice.

  • Analyst 1 in IB - Cov
Jan 8, 2022 - 4:54pm

>sounds like you got that far based off of your behaviorals

>>I'm super stressed and taking SSRIs

>they must like your personality and see you as a good fit!

>>literally has depression

depressed and the perfect fit for banking?

sounds about right 

Jan 8, 2022 - 2:31am

Wanna second this! Interviews right now are far from the end all be all, and the fact that you're getting so many interviews means you're doing a lot right already

  • Incoming Analyst in IB-M&A
Jan 8, 2022 - 3:31am

I'm sorry you're going through a tough time, but a few things to hopefully think about.

Firstly, you are most definitely good enough - nobody gets that many first round interviews without a really strong background & strong behaviourals - it's clear you're motivated to try learn the technical and get prepared for the interviews.

However, sometimes shit gets in the way and it's important to recognise that you can't be in control of everything: your mental health is just as important as your physical health and that taking care of yourself now is the best thing you can do not only for your career but for yourself as well.

Loads of people break into IB later down the line - heck I did 6 odd years of education before getting my full time offer. Loads of Europeans only start their full time job in their late 20s. The doors to this career can seem like they shut after penultimate(junior) year SA recruitment but they're always there if you're willing to work for it. You just need to ensure you give yourself the fighting chance to work, and that starts by taking care of yourself now. Seek out the help that is needed from a mental health professional (I know that you tried to book a therapist but couldn't get one on). It might be worth looking into provisions like mental health crisis teams and emergency psychiatry referrals, which are available in the UK.

Hope you keep safe and prioritise yourself - investment banking recruitment isn't the be all end all and the door will always be there in future.

Jan 8, 2022 - 3:33am

Bro we aren't in the 1900s anymore. They're multiple pathways to get to where you want to be; rarely in life will there be a straight path. I've known plenty of friends who have gone unconventional paths into IB and came out on top of the other analysts. Not getting any SDs is not an end all. Go to a coffee shop or something, hunker your shit down and realize that 

Jan 8, 2022 - 2:00pm

I'm in sort of a similar situation, so I know how it feels. Been consistently making it to the final rounds for internships, but I keep getting told they went with another person when it comes down to 2 final candidates. Leaves me feeling like I'll never get anything and wondering how I even made it this far. It's tough right now, but if you're getting even first round interviews that means you belong there. On the bright side, we only need one yes.

Jan 9, 2022 - 9:10am

Its a marathon not a sprint. Seems like the door is closing, but you will get many opportunities in your 20s. It may be a crappy IB position at some no name firm, but then can help you lateral into a average firm which can let you lateral to a more well known firm. If not IB, go corporate and you can gain experience in a certain industry and rise up the rankings. Maybe then you could lateral into an ER position at the sector you were previously involved in. From there HF opportunities open up. If you become an industry expert, then you will get consulting opportunities, and who knows maybe a chance to be a board advisor or a VC member. Just stay hungry, give it your best, and prioritize your health. You got this.  

Most Helpful
  • Associate 2 in IB-M&A
Jan 10, 2022 - 8:03pm

This is clearly MBA interviews, and if 15 banks for first round OP is most likely at a top finance program (core 4 of Wharton, Booth, CBS and Stern).

I was about to write up a paragraph on advice but realize TODAY is Monday and you are most likely done by now (Alexa, play Stan by Eminem) 

Look, I don't know what happened today but if you struck out, you still have options: 

  • Start giving all the banks like Lincoln, Miller Buckfire, Baird, Harris Williams, Raymond James, Greenhill, Wells Fargo, - the places that get NO love during recruiting - a ton of love now. I would bet that some very established banks just don't recruit at your school because they never get hires, but every bank NEEDS associates right now. Figure out a story and network your ass off. It sucks, all your friends may be planning trips to Miami, you've gotta start enterprise recruiting. Reach out to alumni, schedule coffee chats, and go for it.  
    • In the meantime, get fucking right with technicals. Sounds like you didn't study much, and as an interviewer for both Analysts and MBAs at my EB, I cannot recommend someone get a superday if they struggle with basic concepts. Just cant. 
    • work on your why banking, why this bank, and your soft answers. So many people fuck these up and don't think thru them when soft skills are really the only reason they hire us MBAs
  • Think about if this is really what you want - many of my classmates were thinking IB because they really wanted PE (though it's a dumb strategy out of MBA) - yes it would have been a great experience but there are TONS of really cool interesting companies recruiting through the spring. You could go corp dev and still do M&A if that's what you want

Happy to answer any questions I can - do quite a bit of MBA recruiting for my alma mater at my firm, so can address anything that might be on your mind. 

Jan 15, 2022 - 8:14am

I cannot edit the original post anymore. I will post my update in this comment.

Update: Thanks everyone for the moral support and all the great advices! I received two offers yesterday. 

I studied two days for technicals after I posted this rant. I think I did pretty well on Monday. Received couple superdays. Received two official offers yesterday.

My dad passed away during winter break. That's the reason I was depressed. I still haven't taken the prescribed SSRI, but I have scheduled a therapist. 

Jan 22, 2022 - 7:11pm

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