Dinner with boss
Hi Guys, I have to attend a dinner organized at one of my partner's fund later this week with all my team. What's the best way to make a good impression / no mistakes?
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just be chill and don't get too drunk. don't hit on his family
Cheeky,
After reading some of the tripe in the first five or ten posts on the thread, I chose to simply respond. That said, regarding your OP about what to do to make a good impression/make no mistakes, my suggestions are pretty simple: 1. Be very judicious in the amt of alcohol you consume (I've suggested in the past to have the bartender pour you a glass of tonic water in a rocks glass and put a lime on the side so that it represents a cocktail, while not having to actually drink a cocktail). 2. Do you best to "work the room"; meaning - try to mingle, speak to as many people present as you possibly can. Show your boss you can handle yourself in social situations. 3. If you see someone standing by themselves, don't be too shy to go up and strike up a conversation with the person. They may be uncomfortable as you are, or they may be waiting to see who has the intestinal fortitude to approach them. 4. Don't be the first person to leave. Made that mistake myself years ago, thinking I would not be missed as there were well over 200 people at the event, yet the first question I was met with the following Monday: "What happened to you Saturday night? You just kind of disappeared on us." 5. I wouldn't necessarily practice a potential discussion, but I would make sure that my mental acuity on any professional subject that may be asked is spot on. Make sure you know your audience and prepare accordingly.
Good luck. Hopefully, this will just be the beginning of many of these events in your future.
Fuck his wife in the watercloset. Im sure he will thank you because he is tired of fucking her.
Better yet, fuck HIM. That's probably why he invited you in the first place.
Don't know who MS you - you're not wrong lol
Did not know OP was female. That makes this thread a little more interesting. Wonder how dinner went
I am a girl. Your comments disgust me
.
Dress appropriately, be friendly, compliment the house/facility/food, try to discuss sports and any interests outside of work. Avoid any political discussions - if you get dragged into one do not get argumentative at all. Take it as a chance to get to know as many people as possible outside of those you work with daily, doing so helps get your name out there across the firm.
Pinky off the glass always.
Let the senior guys order first, follow their lead with types of food (no finger food) and price range. Careful if you sit across from a woman, don't shuffle your feet and hit hers under the table because that puts you in an awkward position of footsy. Don't sit at the end of the table, you'll be left out of the conversion, but don't sit in the middle of the table if you can't carry one. Don't talk around/over people.
Key things to do and not to do:
Thank you!
May have gone overboard with this, but here is some of the stuff I think about when eating with higher-ups. Has worked so far.
I get why you're saying this, but if it's expensive scotch and you really don't like whiskey, won't it look worse? I know people like me are a minority, but some of us prefer some 12 year rum, or some 3 year tequila.
I also know people who don't get reinvented to dinner.
No excuses, play like a champion.
Have a few conversation topics prepared beforehand in case there are any awkward silences, but Keysey's list is a good one. I especially like the 70/30 listening/talking point, you have to show you are interested and engaged in the conversation, but remember that people like to hear themselves talk so keep the boss happy.
Be a ghost with comments.....memorable is not good in situations like this.
Asking questions to keep things going is always a good idea. Really? Wow that’s interesting, what else happened? Who would have thought. What happened next? Asking simple follow up questions like this makes people think you are smart and interesting, when really you’re just appeasing their ego.
I think there are a few lessons here worth noting. Firstly, if you are having dinner at someone home, and not at a restaurant/charity event/member's club, they will either employ a chef or have the meal catered. It's not my thing, but some people enjoy hosting dinner parties. If the event is at his home, I'd spend some time speaking with his wife (assuming he has one).
I think people often overlook the basics of etiquette in these situations, and spend entirely too much time attempted to suck up to the BSDs in the room. You're unlikely to make a lasting impression with the BSDs, but if people bring their spouses and you're not a total goober, you can make an impression on them. You see, a lot of the awkward kids that frequent this site wouldn't think to spend the effort to engage the wife, and if you were a man, I might give you different advice (especially, if you were a good-looking young man, in which case, you should definitely not spend too much time speaking with the wife). As a woman, though, unless you're a truck-stop lesbian, you get a free pass on speaking to the wife as much as you want about a range of topics that have nothing to do with business.
That is how you make an impression. In a conversation with the BSDs about work, you're going to look like an amateur. But of course that's the case--you have the least experience, the fewest 'interesting' stories, and are at an informational disadvantage. The fastest way to look foolish in a conversation is to attempt to speak with authority on a topic with a person who is actually an authority on the topic. Therefore, in a room full of people who are likely to drift towards business conversations that would naturally exclude the spouses of those in attendance, your best bet is to engage the spouses. You'll look smarter in those conversations, and you'll probably get to learn something interesting about the BSDs. What do they actually like? And more importantly, what do their wives like? If the wife likes her Pinot a little too much, you may get to learn a funny story or two about your boss. As long as those stories aren't career-ending for your boss, they're likely to endear you to him. At the very least, they will endear you to his wife, who ultimately decides who is coming to dinner again.
That said, you could go in the complete opposite direction, bring a bag of coke to the party, lay it out on the table during dinner, and just see what happens. It's your call.
Thanks a lot! FYI the partner is a woman.
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