I don't know if I've ever actually started a thread. These days, I'm not especially active, and when I am, I'm either inebriated and writing something snarky or sober and writing something too long to be worth reading. Either way, I'm interested in hearing thoughts about a little problem of mine. I sincerely dislike my niece and two nephews, and am currently at my parents' house for Easter, where they have been foisted upon me.
I have lived thousands of miles away from my parents since I went away to college at 17, so I don't see them too often. My father was a military-for-life sort, and settled down in the Midwest for reasons that surpass understanding (he was an admiral, so we grew up on a lot of different coasts, and have no ties to the Midwest whatsoever). When I visit them, it's just to visit them. I have few friends in the area, and generally don't enjoy the fat, slow, religious ways of Midwesterners. I certainly don't enjoy drinking at the local watering/shit hole and talking to people in their late 20s who have been married for nearly a decade, popped out 2-3 kids, and just want to discuss their half-retarded children's meager achievements or their work in whatever $30K per year job they found after high school or community college.
My sister lives in another Midwest city about 250 miles away from my parents, and takes every opportunity I visit to bring her three infants/toddlers. They take over the entire house. I wouldn't care if it were only a day or two. I can 'suck it up' for 24-48 hours. What I can't stomach is using a full week of vacation that was meant to be relaxing (minus my mother's customary 3 hours per day of nagging me or predicting the end times, for which she has been praying since at least 1999), and being tricked into spending it with my sister's kids. It's always a trick, by the way, since my position on small children is well-known. It's not that I hate little kids--I just find them extremely annoying after a few hours.
I distinctly remember visits to my grandmother's house when I was little. We were told to play in a set of rooms far removed from the adults, and if we were too loud, my militaristic father would belt us. My sister's children, however, sit in the dead center of the house and are the sole object of everyone's attention all day every day. They hijack the television and watch a combination of Minions, Octonaughts, Oso, Little Einstein, and Frozen incessantly. The eldest is three, the youngest is perhaps 8 months. The baby has fucking mono at the moment and is just one giant slobbery mess. I feel like the likelihood of my contracting something from this full-diaper terror is close to 100%, but as a betting man, let's be conservative and put the odds at 9:1.
My mother constantly harasses me about spending more time with my sister's kids, but I'm disinclined to do so. In fact, I'm leaning in the opposite direction, not visiting them anymore, and simply buying them tickets to visit me in some other part of the world to avoid the inevitable hassle of seeing the kids until they're at least 6 years old.
I mean--right now, the only special talent the eldest has is pissing on electronics. The last time I visited, he literally urinated on my parents' PC twice in a 40-minute span. What did he do between Act I and Act II? Hand to God, he threw a nonstop tantrum and shit his pants.
Have any of you been forced into a similar situation? And do you think that being in finance during your 20s and 30s (and particularly in cities like New York and London) makes you tolerate children less?
No offense, but sounds like you're the problem. You didn't say one positive thing about anyone in that story. I agree that little kids are a little much after a few hours, but they are the best when they are 0-2.5 years old. They won't be tolerable again until they are at least 18 - and they might not get along with you then. If you don't have kids, this is the perfect chance to play with kids that you know you can give back to their parents at any time.
Also, I am from the Midwest. Remember that these people, although 1,000x friendlier than you are, probably don't want you there either.
Thanks for the response, but I think your opinion is slanted by virtue of the fact that you seem to like kids. I completely disagree with the statement that '[little kids] are the best when they are 0-2/5 years old. I also don't think there is a gap of 16 years where they are intolerable thereafter. And if you're stuck in the same house as them for a week straight while you're on holiday, you can't just 'give TheM back to their parents at any time.'
In any case, you didn't actually answer my question about whether working in finance makes you less tolerant of kids.
On an unrelated note, there is absolutely no reason to begin any sentence with 'no offense.' It's passive aggressive at best. It's always followed by something offensive. What you mean to say is, "I'm about to say something controversial and I know it. Prepare yourself...". You could have written something like, "To me, you're the problem." You then own that statement. It doesn't soften the blow to weaken the language of your criticism by placing 'no offense' at the start of a sentence. It kind of makes you a pussy. No offense.
And I'd agree that people are different. Some like kids, some don't. You could still go to a different room, as your parents and uncles/aunts did when you were a child. Every adult needs a break from kids.
No, finance doesn't make you less tolerant of kids. It's a personal thing.
The only snippy thing I said was in the last statement, which was separated from the "no offense" comment. Saying "you're the problem" is equivalent to what I said above with "it's a personal thing." I honestly meant no offense by that. Maybe a tad snippy on the second sentence, but you did not, in fact, say anything positive about anyone in the post (and no, the comment about the nephew's talent to piss on electronics doesn't count).
Sounds like you need a drink. I'm just pouring myself one. Cheers!
right there with you man. I love my niece, but she's a good kid. Snap my fingers at her and she gets me a beer. Sounds like your sister is raising little monsters.
Endure man, will be over shortly.
I would agree. Working in finance for sure lowers your patience, which is the one thing you need to deal with terrorizing little rugrats. I swear every time I go on an airplane that has kids on board I feel like I'm on the verge of tears
Nope, not at all and not connected in the least. Your egotistical love of self and believing you are too good for the oh dear god awful mid-west are the primary contributing factors here. People like you feed the northern snob stereotype profile, so congrats on your primo doucheness..
Lol this post reminded me of this person:![Here](a href="https://ethicsalarms.files.wordpress.com/2017/01/melinda_byerley.jpg?w=646">https://ethicsalarms.files.wordpress.com/2017/01/melinda_byerley.jpg?w=…</a)
That chick is the last person I'd want in my town haha.
Haha. I didn't realize Fiber internet was the embodiment of progress
LMAO why do these neo-liberals use bigot in every sentence?
This script sounds like Manchester by the Sea Episode II. Only missing the description on gray skies as far the eye can see.
I don't really like babies/kids that much either, and sort of agree with the person who said they are the best (least intolerable) when they are 0-2.5 years old. Once they start talking and stuff then it gets really annoying. I wouldn't say that I "dislike" them, but I definitely prefer dogs/cats to small humans in general. I think it mostly has to do with the kind of person you are, and maybe the relation to finance/NYC is just that you have less chance of interacting with kids due to hours and location. I've never really liked kids as long as I can remember and don't think it would've changed depending on my career or location. I do try to tolerate kids/babies in my family in the rare occasions I have to see them, since I know their parents really appreciate it.
I just don't understand why 0-2.5 is ideal since they make all the noise and are the most annoying. Once they hit like 6-8 you can just tell them what to do. Before that it's a crying time bomb.
I just don't get parenting nowadays. Kids used to be free slaves who worshiped their parents. Now their expensive goiters that parents worship?
This. Looks like our generation just became a bunch of wussies.
It's personal preference. They are still barely talking at 2.5 in a lot of cases - fun to play with them when they can't pronounce anything. It's the toddler stage of 3-4 when they become whiney, possessive little cunts, in my opinion. Also I just ruled out kids up to 18 because if my kids were anything like me, I would be embarrassed to get those calls from the school principal, teacher, neighbors, etc... And the whole rebellious stage, etc. I just want my 2.5-year old to come back 25 years later as a mature adult without the guilt of not being there for them all that time. Come back and let's go fishing with some beers or something.
This is a parenting problem, starting with the admiral
Ya, at first I thought you were just being a selfish prick, but if my nephew ever dropped trou and pissed on anything that isn't the toilet, he'd get into a world of trouble. It kinda sounds like your sister's parenting style is very hands-off at this point and that these kids always get their way. Also, it's crazy to have two kids in diapers at the same time, but THREE, screw that.
I'm not a fan of small children, I'm okay with little babies because they mostly just sleep and are often kinda cute but after that I'm out on kids until 6 or so when they start being somewhat rational. That said, I've got a three year old nephew who is being raised well and I can now be around him for about 5 hours before I need a break and a big reason why is because his parents will smack his hand if he tries to do something dangerous and/or give him a stern talking to if he's just being a little shit. He's definitely somewhat the center of attention when around family (he's the only kid right now) but we carry on normal conversations and he understands not to interrupt people.
All this is to say, there are tolerable toddlers out there but it's typically due to upbringing.
I hate little kids too. But it's more of a, "I hate when little kids poop their pants or cry for no reason" kind of hate. You just sound like you refuse kids being kids and hate being around them. If you're thinking about not planning a family, I agree. That kind of thing is not going to just change one thing. This post makes me wonder what else your delicate sensitivities respond to. You seem like you jump like a little bitch at everything, and moan anytime a little effort is required of you.
Why the fuck are you vacationing at your parents house?
I was about to ask the same thing.
From the sheer lack of balls, it seems like you came from a target school.
Here are two choices for you to take:
2. Don't show up
I disagree that you are entirely the problem. It's sounds like you are from a typical white family where the kids rule the house.
Also, from your post it seems like there is no grandfather or father present. Without strong and stern MALE leadership, these whiny little brats could literally, literally, become the next generation of self-hating white cucks. Come on man, it's pretty much your duty to beat some toddler ass. Put the fear of god into them.
NOTE: He's not as much of a dick as his post makes him out to be. It's called humor.
I agree, but it's sensitive beating someone else's kids. You look at a kid sideways and you get CPS called.
Are you mentally incapable of posting without using the word target? The one time I halfway ( and only halfway, cause I wouldn't discipline another person's kids, ever) agree with something you wrote and you had to add in your obligatory troll byline?
No, and no. Finance and big city life have nothing to do with it.
"I mean--right now, the only special talent the eldest has is pissing on electronics. The last time I visited, he literally urinated on my parents' PC twice in a 40-minute span. What did he do between Act I and Act II? Hand to God, he threw a nonstop tantrum and shit his pants."
the shitforce is strong with this one
dont know why you are getting grief for your post. i enjoyed it - tongue in cheek people...if you had screaming toddlers all around you you'd probably say the same, even if inside you love them
I'm pretty much with you OP, though I think it's less about working in finance and more about the % of your life decisions that are approached rationally (I'd hope the two are positively correlated).
Disclaimer: I actually don't mind kids and am pretty good with them (having half-siblings ranging from 7-12 years younger than me sort of necessitated this). Also, the back-office thing is 100% a joke so cool it with the monkey shit
Okay, now it's time for my socially unacceptable, caffeine-induced rant:
1b. Also, btw, choosing to have a kid before you've done everything reasonably possible to ensure you're prepared is the exact opposite of noble --> not only are you (likely) fucking over your own life and intentionally bringing someone into existence with the odds stacked against them, but you're actively saying 'my lack of patience and need for biological validation is so compelling it's worth increasing the chance that my kid grows up to be a serial killer / asshole / back office employee'. Why the fuck would I condone, much less encourage that kind of attitude?
Similarly, this whole 'well, what can you do?' attitude some parents take when their kid misbehaves in public is completely infuriating to me. I get that even the best kids misbehave sometimes and that you might be exhausted or whatever, but you have an obligation to a) avoid scenarios where your child can fuck up other people's day as much as possible (btw, I mean really mean possible, not convenient), or b) do your best to recuse yourself the instant they do start to create a problem (preferably while looking embarrassed). I wouldn't bring either my hyperactive dog or my blackout drunk buddy to a nice restaurant - your screaming 0-10 year old is no different.
If you choose to have a child while working ( and if you live in the US, I pay taxes explicitly allocated to ensuring you have the choice regardless of whether you/your partner understands how birth control works) and then try to to use it as an excuse to get others to do your work - you're an asshole. I don't mind if you bitch about how tough it is (I bitch when tired/about stupid shit) and I won't judge you if you elect to switch to a less demanding job, but there's no way in hell I'm going to pretend your desire to have a miniature, belligerent copy of yourself justifies me doing a single hour of extra work.
To be absolutely clear, I'd say roughly 1/2 of the people in my parent's generation seemed to understand all this - however, based on the number of my 20-30 year old peers having kids before they have their own shit figured out (and expecting to be congratulated for it), this needs to be said more frequently.
TLDR: I have no problem with kids, but I have a huge fucking problem with shitty parents who expect me to enable their shit.
The second reliable birth control comes around the birth rate plummets. Really good reason why this is the case. Most parents I run into look like they want to kill themselves. Shit, whenever I visit my niece and she is watching some trash on TV, I just turn it to Bloomberg. Could you imagine watching cartoons every day? GTFO.
This is so golden. Haha. I have ran into a lot of people I grew up with having kids in their 20-30's already. They see me as a single guy and all tell me they wished they were single still and finished college/grad school.
delete
Am I the only one that was dying laughing from this post? You should share some more of your adventures. +1
Also, in case you were curious, you have started nearly 24 threads.
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