I know they're smart. I think their professional immaturity coupled with their desire to impress and land a full-time clouds the judgment they've developed as young adults.

I try to give them the benefit of the doubt...

... most of the time

 
 

There was this one guy I worked with, called him Steezy Stu. We worked in a big city where it was expected to dress business professional. This guy would come in to the office looking like he came from a 1970's disco roller rink. Different shades of neon for his dress shirts, unbuttoned 3-4 buttons. One day the kid wore a Canadian Tuxedo.. cant make this shit up.

*For those that dont know, a Canadian Tuxedo consists of denim pants, and a denim jacket... That is how he earned the nickname Steezy Stu

 
Funniest

True story:

Associate (me): approaching urinal next to summer analyst - says nothing and begins his business

Summer analyst: "You got something for me to crank on?"

Associate (me): "Appreciate the initiative, but you probably could have opted for different phrasing in this particular situation."

Summer analyst: "Whatever it takes, I guess."

Associate (me): Says nothing, washes hands and walks out

 

My intern has the mental capacity of a fucking troglodyte. It's unfathomable. His ability to hold a grammatically and functionally correct conversation with the client has gone in retrograde.

He asked me (in front of a client) why, generally speaking, interest rates hold an inverse relationship with inflation. I understand having silly moments, but I was more shocked at his decision to ask this in front of the client.

To mention his grammar issues: No concept of the difference between "they're", "their" and "there."

My client has promptly referred him to a plethora of educational websites.

"I'm at a loss, he was part of that whole Yale thing... Well, I think, for one, that he was probably a closet homosexual who did a lot of cocaine... You know, that Yale thing."
 
Most Helpful
Thatyalething2019:
My intern has the mental capacity of a fucking troglodyte. It's unfathomable. His ability to hold a grammatically and functionally correct conversation with the client has gone in retrograde.

He asked me (in front of a client) why, generally speaking, interest rates hold an inverse relationship with inflation. I understand having silly moments, but I was more shocked at his decision to ask this in front of the client.

To mention his grammar issues: No concept of the difference between "they're", "their" and "there."

My client has promptly referred him to a plethora of educational websites.

+SB for use of "troglodyte"

 

Client is ex banker specializing in large CR divestitures... He sent me an email, subject titled: "Recommended reading" with a link to the Reading Rainbow theme song. Needless to say, he was amused by my intern debacle and is enjoying putting some extra torque on the engagement team.

When it rains, it pours.

"I'm at a loss, he was part of that whole Yale thing... Well, I think, for one, that he was probably a closet homosexual who did a lot of cocaine... You know, that Yale thing."
 

Last week an intern from one of our brokers sent an email asking for contact details update, he CCed every client instead of BCC, there by exposing all the contacts. Today some aholes sent a mass spam to the same list advertising a "trading group" that consists of former hedge fund and prop traders that sell trading signals... Fckn interns.

You killed the Greece spread goes up, spread goes down, from Wall Street they all play like a freak, Goldman Sachs 'o beat.
 

i recall when i was a summer intern in IT at a BB (i built a few spreadsheets...learned some SQL...wrote a few SQL queries...modified a few lines of code here and there). In retrospect, it took me an entire summer to do what i can now do in about 30 minutes....it was an actual learning experience...you learn more "on the job" than in your entire college education. I'd like to think that college prepared me to learn all that stuff (or so i've been told)...hard to say.

if i was now watching my younger self struggle thru those things...i would agree that he was an idiot...but when you don't know anything....of course you are going to look like an idiot...when in fact, you are absorbing and learning.

just google it...you're welcome
 

Lol, we had a social for all of our interns last week with a bartab that ran from 7:30-11pm. Most of the more senior employees left by 10ish but apparently one of our interns stayed until like 2am, buying everyone shots and racked up a $150 bar tab before getting his card declined. I have no idea how he managed to spend all the money he's made this summer to the extent that he doesn't have $150 in his checking account. We're paying these kids solid money. Anyway, he came into my office the other morning to "sincerely apologize for his conduct" while giving me the crocodile tears. I wanted to be serious about the situation so I just hurried him out of my office so I could put my head down and crack up at my desk.

 

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