Do people network in luxury apartments?

Poes's picture
Rank: Senior Monkey | banana points 77

Currently live in Brooklyn but got a job in Stamford and looking to relocate ASAP as my commute sucks. See a lot of I bankers and Finance professionals living in the luxury apartments here, but there's a few lower tier apartments that are decent but much cheaper ($400 or so per month...more when counting all the fees paid at these luxury apartments).

Planning on going for my MBA next year but my weakest point is networking. Was wondering, are these luxury buildings good spots to network with other professionals, maybe a prelude to the Ft MBA experience? I don't know if the amenities alone are worth the cost of admission and the 'status' is a ridiculous reason.....but an intangible like networking especially with other professionals who have gone down a similar path I'll be taking next year would be more than worth the uptick in rent (not to mention being closer to work and all the benefits of a newer luxury building).

Figured WSO would be a good place to see if I am on the right track with this assumption or completely wrong.

If anyone lives in Stamford def could use your take and specific complexes (looking at the new Vela , TGM Anchor Point and The Key in Harbor Point right now).

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Comments (36)

Mar 16, 2018

Bump..?

Mar 15, 2018

people in apartment buildings tend to NOT talk to their neighbors....this is very rare. The exception is moms who hang out in parks / play rooms with young kids...but i suspect that's not the kind of networking you are looking for.

just google it...you're welcome

Mar 17, 2018
want2trade:

people in apartment buildings tend to NOT talk to their neighbors....this is very rare. The exception is moms who hang out in parks / play rooms with young kids...but i suspect that's not the kind of networking you are looking for.

Soccer Moms. I'll network and fuck.

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Mar 19, 2018

You wish..

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Mar 15, 2018

Ironically, the least social places in the world are apartment buildings in big cities. If you're a hyper extrovert you may be able to reel some people in, but for the most part I wouldn't expect it to pay off in the friendship/dating/networking department.

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Mar 15, 2018

I would say this is true for the most part, however if your complex has a solid media room or a large kitchen and the property manager is willing to have people come in and entertain or throw a monthly party or something those can end up being pretty solid places to meet people.

Anecdotally, the place I live in does these dope cooking demos from local chefs and has pretty solid holiday parties but throws them like the weekend before or after the actual holiday so that people would actually show up. Also rooftop pool in the summertime is pretty clutch. But yea I think your apartment networking mileage will vary from place to place and generally falls short on the work networking category.

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Mar 15, 2018

Maybe it varies by location because I've lived in a number of D.C. area luxury apartments and no one shows to the events or parties, and making friends at the pool? Yeah, not in my neck of the woods.

Mar 15, 2018

Most of the people who live in luxury apartments work long hours and travel extensively so you rarely see them. You can make connections by chance, but I am not leaving work early to attend my apartment's happy hour or March Madness screening

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Mar 15, 2018
Poes:

Figured WSO would be a good place to see if I am on the right track with this assumption or completely wrong.

This will cost more than it will taste. Spend that extra money on buying people coffee and get on the phone with people.

Mar 15, 2018

If they have a gym with regulars, that'd probably be your best bet.

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Mar 16, 2018

I live in an upscale complex filled with other professionals from the area (mix of tech, energy, banking, high-end retail corporations). I work long hours and am beat when I get home, my neighbors can say the same thing, thats how we afford to live here. The last thing we're doing is networking.

Mar 16, 2018

You can network at Sign of the Whale I suppose.

Mar 16, 2018

If I'm going to be honest, I don't generally want to 'network' with a lot of people anymore. I have a substantial network already. I 'networked' my way into having my network in my 20's through a variety of means, but never within any apartment building I lived in. I hung out with the guys a floor below me in London from time-to-time because they always had good-looking women around, and they partied loud as fuck. If they didn't share their 'party supplies' with me, I would have been a less convivial neighbor. As it happens, I like to party, so this arrangement worked out swell for me (except when they'd have people over at, say, 4am on a Thursday evening/Friday morning.

Now that I have to pretend to be a real adult more regularly, I wouldn't risk that with other people in my building. That said, I got stuck in the lift with the elderly couple who own the penthouse in my building recently, and for reasons that surpass understanding, they enjoyed my company and gave me their opera tickets. I don't know if that's 'networking' exactly, but I kind of regret talking to them. Why? Because now I feel obliged to talk to them every time I see them. It sucks. I'm only nice to meet once or twice. After that, how many times can we talk about nothing?

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Jan 20, 2019
brotherbear:

I 'networked' my way into having my network in my 20's through a variety of means, but never within any apartment building I lived in. I hung out with the guys a floor below me in London from time-to-time because they always had good-looking women around, and they partied loud as fuck. If they didn't share their 'party supplies' with me, I would have been a less convivial neighbor. As it happens, I like to party, so this arrangement worked out swell for me (except when they'd have people over at, say, 4am on a Thursday evening/Friday morning.

Now that I have to pretend to be a real adult more regularly, I wouldn't risk that with other people in my building. That said, I got stuck in the lift with the elderly couple who own the penthouse in my building recently, and for reasons that surpass understanding, they enjoyed my company and gave me their opera tickets. I don't know if that's 'networking' exactly, but I kind of regret talking to them. Why? Because now I feel obliged to talk to them every time I see them. It sucks. I'm only nice to meet once or twice. After that, how many times can we talk about nothing?

Can you share the the most valuable ways you networked throughout your 20s?

Mar 16, 2018

I went to graduate school a couple times, so I met loads of people that way. I ate lunch out of the office whenever I could (3-4 times per week), and would generally see if anyone wanted to eat with me or at least walk with me to get lunch. I'd get two coffees out of the office each day, and would make similar gestures each time. If people couldn't get away from their desks, I would grab a coffee for them (same goes for lunch). I worked as a trader, journalist, consultant and venture capitalist/corporate venture investor so I met a lot of people endogenously through work.

I have had to find my own deals basically since I started working for a variety of reasons not worth explaining here, so I always had to be a bit scrappier than most. I was always up for grabbing drinks with other interns, analysts, associates through my junior days, but because I wrote for a major publication before I was an analyst, I had a giant network of contacts from that which virtually no analyst possesses. As a result, I got invited to more meetings at a younger age than I would have otherwise.

I also know a lot more about a wider range of finance than most people my age. I have lived a more interesting life than most. My father was an admiral in the US Navy, so I have lived a lot of places and speak several languages, so I'm extremely useful to have on international business trips. In other posts, I have listed some excellent places to go in a variety of world-class cities. I was brought to those cities and shown those places by people older than me who tolerated my presence.

At some point, your network really starts growing exponentially precisely because you already know so many other people that you become the person people think of when they need to bounce ideas off someone. Sometimes, they really want help with strategy or whatever, but normally, they're just looking to see if you know the right group of people to introduce them to for their project or investment.

You do not do this through social media. You have to meet people. I no longer have a Facebook profile, have never used Twitter, and only accept invites on LinkedIn from people I actually know. Networking is not the same thing as marketing or branding yourself. It's essentially a long process of referrals from one person to another. I've never been to a 'networking drinks' or anything of the sort. My assumption of the people who attend those things is that they're desperate. No one I respect has ever attended one of those outside a conference since that's the main purpose for attending those conferences.

If you get invited to Davos, Aspen Ideas or even something like Dreamforce, the conference itself is a sideshow. You're better off spending your time at the bar and making a handful of meaningful connections than walking the floor of some giant convention center shaking hands with mid-level executives (at something like Dreamforce). If you're getting to attend Davos, the Allen & Co meetings, or anything of that sort, you're probably better connected than me, so I guess those examples aren't relevant.

If you're not in a role that requires any business development, you can always go out with the sales guys and your brokers. Just make sure they bring other clients. Spending time with your broker otherwise has diminishing returns. Aside from that, I met a few hedge fund managers playing chess and bridge at member's clubs. Doing so greatly increases your chances of being asked to join, and I like playing chess anyway.

I also know how to sail because of my father. You'd be surprised how often that specific piece of my background leads to invitations to go sailing. I generally don't turn those invitations down since I like sailing and doing so is a great way to get to know people a lot better. More recently, I've been invited by some of my bankers on fishing trips. I fucking despise fishing, but I've met a couple big PE fund managers that way, so I guess it was worth learning how to fly fish. I had to take lessons from a friend before going on my first trip so I didn't embarrass myself. I was still pretty obviously an amateur, though, and one of the guys spent a fair amount of time teaching me. People like teaching others something they enjoy, so let them when you get the chance.

Oh--I also helped with the holiday parties at several of my employers. Organizing a party is a skill most people lack or half-ass. If you're good at it, it gets you the attention of people who appreciate that sort of thing. And the budgets for some of these holiday parties are material, so you have some flexibility. If you're known to be good at it, and the person who normally handles such things likes you, you're likely to be asked to help with other events. That's how I got to go to my first board meeting. I helped coordinate the piddly shit no one else seemed to care about. When they found out I had previously worked as a journalist, one of the C-suite execs had me take the meeting minutes and turn it into a single page memo to be distributed among the BoD.

I could go on, but I think the central point is that there is no specific way to 'network' with anyone. You have to do loads of different things for a long time, be likable, be memorable, and be helpful where you can. In my case, I'm irreverent, so no one thinks I want anything from them. In most cases, I don't. I'm generally happy to just have a good time. A final point on that--try to avoid letting your penis guide your 'networking' decisions. Everyone can tell when you're trying to get laid. It can make an entire room awkward for people not even talking to you. You don't want to be that guy. Be a gentleman, put yourself out there consistently, and who knows what can happen.

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Jan 20, 2019

Your response is very helpful, thank you.

Mar 17, 2018
Poes:

Currently live in Brooklyn but got a job in Stamford and looking to relocate ASAP as my commute sucks. See a lot of I bankers and Finance professionals living in the luxury apartments here, but there's a few lower tier apartments that are decent but much cheaper ($400 or so per month...more when counting all the fees paid at these luxury apartments).

Planning on going for my MBA next year but my weakest point is networking. Was wondering, are these luxury buildings good spots to network with other professionals, maybe a prelude to the Ft MBA experience? I don't know if the amenities alone are worth the cost of admission and the 'status' is a ridiculous reason.....but an intangible like networking especially with other professionals who have gone down a similar path I'll be taking next year would be more than worth the uptick in rent (not to mention being closer to work and all the benefits of a newer luxury building).

Figured WSO would be a good place to see if I am on the right track with this assumption or completely wrong.

If anyone lives in Stamford def could use your take and specific complexes (looking at the new Vela , TGM Anchor Point and The Key in Harbor Point right now).

What low tier luxury apartments are $400/mo? Is this like a 150sqft bathroom with a mini fridge in it and a microwave under the sink? lolol

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

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Mar 17, 2018

I think he was saying the apartments are $400 per month cheaper, genius.

Mar 17, 2018
ThrowADart:

I think he was saying the apartments are $400 per month cheaper, genius.

Sorry Einstein, I'm very analytical with sentences and don't catch implied meanings at times.

Thanks though for the clarification, homeslice.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

Mar 17, 2018

Anything for you. sugar taint.

Sep 23, 2018

.

Mar 17, 2018

The people where I live mainly just network at the pool when they get hammered.

Luckily, it's mostly 25 year old chicks. Also, I live in a semi-tropical area so the pool is open year round.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

Mar 18, 2018

I'm still a newbie at this whole "adulting" thing but I would imagine the last thing anyone working FT in banking / finance wants to do after a potentially 90 hr week is come home every night to network with other bankers.

Mar 18, 2018

There are certain buildings that are filled with young professionals, and it will be easy to meet people

In Chicago, I lived in buildings that had a lot of young professionals and grad students, and it was super easy to meet new people, hang out, and hook up.

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Mar 18, 2018

I agree with the majority of the comments here that networking in luxury buildings in unusual. That said, I've personally had the opposite experience. I spend a ton of time in my building's community area and frequently strike up conversations with strangers (I'm actually here now as I type this). The intent is never to network, but more to meet interesting people and pass the time.

In less than a year, I have met some pretty influential people. Two of the folks are founders of different private equity firms, a business owner, a couple CEOs, a handful of physicians, and some other people from various walks of life.

A few of the residents are around my age and we've become friends. I'm only aware of about a dozen professionals under the age of 35 that live here as most younger folks are priced out. It creates a dynamic where we kind of gravitate to each other. Hanging out is easy because you just send a text saying "I'm heading to the lounge for a drink, come join if you'd like."

I recognize that my experience is extremely unique and I would never move into a luxury building for networking purposes. I also don't work very long hours anymore so I can start hanging out at 6:30pm. Despite these caveats, I think you can certainly meet some interesting people if you make an effort.

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Mar 18, 2018

The person that lives next door to me works in the same industry, at a different firm, and we've never said more than hi.

Mar 18, 2018

Step back for a minute, and think about the concept of an "apartment".

Humans residing in interconnected boxes, stacked upon each other.

Another reason I will never understand the guy(s) who drop $5 million on a 2 bedroom apartment, when they could get a 5 garage estate (with tennis courts, horse farm, etc) just a 30 minute drive away. Will never understand.

Then again, I absolutely despite (most) humans. [sometimes myself]

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Best Response
Mar 18, 2018

You have a very valid point, for some people, the interconnected box just isn't appealing at all. My parents are a perfect example: They will never, ever give up their house, garage, and backyard. Personally, I've lived as a working professional in both the suburbs and the city for a number of years and will offer up my perspective. Note: Introducing kids changes everything, this is based on my experiences, both single and in a relationship.

You'll never have as much space living in a condo compared to living in the suburbs. The math is as simple as a price per square foot comparison. However, I've found that I really don't need nearly as much space as I thought I did when I was younger. I used to have a 2,000 square foot place in an inexpensive city and besides hosting the infrequent parties or guests, it was more of a nuisance than anything else. Furnishing, cleaning, and generally maintaining the space was a chore. I pretty much spent 90% of my time at my desk, on the couch, or in the bedroom and the rest went unused. Before that I lived with my girlfriend in a three bedroom house and it was the same dynamic -- we only ever used 50% of the space.

The number one benefit of city living is the time saved. Many folks on this board will appreciate that time is limited. My commute is literally minutes, which saves me not only time but stress. I've read a number of books on happiness, including Paul Dolan's book Happiness by Design, and studies have shown that shorter commutes have a material positive impact on happiness. But time saved is not just limited to the commute. I am a short walk to the grocery store, a dozen restaurants, the barber, a movie theater, and more. The four different buildings I've lived in (in three different cities) all had their own private gyms and two of them had their own lap pools. This convenience is really difficult to match.

City living has downsides as well. Getting around without a car can be challenging and seeing your friends in the suburbs becomes more complicated. If you do own a car in the city, be ready to pay obscene amounts for a dedicated parking spot and deal with city traffic. Fortunately the likes of Zipcar and Uber have eliminated a lot of the burden. Regardless, be prepared to pay a premium for pretty much everything in life if you live in the city. But if you're willing to allocate more money to these expenses, it can really be quite a fun way to live.

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Mar 15, 2018
CompBanker:

You'll never have as much space living in a condo compared to living in the suburbs. The math is as simple as a price per square foot comparison. However, I've found that I really don't need nearly as much space as I thought I did when I was younger. I used to have a 2,000 square foot place in an inexpensive city and besides hosting the infrequent parties or guests, it was more of a nuisance than anything else. Furnishing, cleaning, and generally maintaining the space was a chore. I pretty much spent 90% of my time at my desk, on the couch, or in the bedroom and the rest went unused. Before that I lived with my girlfriend in a three bedroom house and it was the same dynamic -- we only ever used 50% of the space.

YES!!!! YES! You're the first person (and non-study), un-solicited, who has independently confirmed what I've thought for years. Large spaces are often total wastes, at best, and often counterproductive.

Life at Home in the 21st Century presented a floor plan study that showed that only 40% of floor space is regularly used. 60%(!) of your average home goes largely un-used (family room, kitchen, and laundry room received overwhelming use with the second living room and dining room complete wastes of space, for example). It's crazy. And yet you pay for 100% of the floor space. This is why I'm in the (maddening, long, expensive and bureaucratic) process of getting my home builder licensing to build highly space efficient single-family homes in the 1,500-1,800 square foot range. The trend of gigantic houses is, in my view, contributing to an affordability crisis--society has way over-estimated its need for space.

As an aside, I have ~635 sf condo and I spend SO much time trying to keep it clean. I can't imagine trying to maintain one of these obscene 3,000+ sf homes.

Mar 18, 2018

but what if you have a 30 ft boat, multiple cars, and other various toys.

whatever. it just seems privacy (along with common sense) died in the 21st century.

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Mar 15, 2018
MonacoMonkey:

but what if you have a 30 ft boat, multiple cars, and other various toys.

whatever. it just seems privacy (along with common sense) died in the 21st century.

For the minority of people with that stuff then yeah, they'll need a bigger house. The vast majority of people don't need a huge house.

Mar 20, 2018

+1. Aside from the obvious additional mortgage/insurance/utility/cleaning costs of a huge home, I can't even imagine having to furnish and decorate a 3k+ sf house. Once you graduate from IKEA it's easily $5k-$20k per room for high quality stuff. I'm definitely targeting the size range you mentioned for my first home.

Mar 20, 2018

Part of that price premium you save by moving out for more Sq. ft. is potentially paying for design, furnishing, and cleaning. I'm assuming most people in larger homes outside big cities with that sort of income do not do most of that on their own.

Mar 18, 2018

You could start a FB group as well as send out some flyers and call the group a young professional group with the angle that you want members of the apartment complex to get to know one another for greater sense of community and to find people to hangout with outside of work. Host a meeting/ Catalonia wine mixer if you have a commons or bar near by.

All of this is a ploy, because meanwhile you're on the prowl for connections and or ladies if you're a single man.

Mar 19, 2018