Let's say you marry a chick when you are 30. You are already a VP in Banking, ER, AM, PE etc. Therefore, you are clearing $400k minimum (in some of these roles much more). Would you feel comfortable marrying a chick that makes substantially less without a prenup?
Interested in all your thoughts. - Maybe I am an asshole, but I'd be too paranoid which is sad.
| +87 | GF doesn’t care about her looks | 56 | 32m | |
| +58 | Affair with my Associate… In Desperate Need for Advice | 23 | 18h | |
| +49 | How to sound more eloquent? | 17 | 6h | |
| +38 | 400k/year in HVAC sales? | 26 | 1d | |
| +33 | Would you rather live alone in an outer borough or with roommates in Manhattan? | 23 | 2d | |
| +29 | WSO Ranking On Resume??? | 7 | 4h | |
| +27 | Why do people listen to Jim Cramer Investing Advice? | 10 | 21h | |
| +26 | Carnivore Diet | 9 | 21h | |
| +26 | Is my boss gaslighting me? | 3 | 19h | |
| +22 | Chaotic Insane investment banker who passed away in the 90s or 2000s | 12 | 1d |
Career Resources
Get instant access to lessons taught by experienced private equity pros and bulge bracket investment bankers including financial statement modeling, DCF, M&A, LBO, Comps and Excel Modeling.
No, this is the right response to have. It only shows that you're thinking intelligently. If I find a girl that would be willing to take me, a prenup would be signed either way. Can't have the hoes takin' the green.
if you look at it objectively, it's totally unfair if you are clearing $400k and your SO is clearing $70k to not have a prenup. Hate that even having that discussion can lead a relationship to break down though.
I'm glad there are people with some intelligence left on WSO. +1 SB.
If you think about it prenup discussions should only be uncomfortable for a girl who thinks that she has a reasonable chance of divorcing you. Otherwise, she or her descendants are probably going to enjoy half of your assets whether that be through a shared house, shared cars, vacations, college fund for the kids, etc. Imo it’s a serious red flag if she gets angry or tries to end the relationship. It probably means that either she’s a gold digger, doesn’t see spending an entire life with the man, or is hopelessly irrational or a combination of these. I do think it’s worth noting though that prenup only protects assets pre-marriage, so while a girl getting angry at a prenup is a red flag, a girl not getting angry over a prenup does not imply that she isn’t a gold digger.
Even bringing up a prenup sent my then-gf in high school off the wall. It's perceived so negatively, but it just protects you in case things go south. Currently dating a girl who is way wealthier than me and a prenup is just understood.
My fiancé has been asking me to sign a prenup where I can keep all of the money but she takes the kids back to Russia if it doesn't work out. Sounds like a bad deal on her end
It doesn’t matter if you’re clearing $20 million per year as an I-Banker and you sign a prenup.
The only thing that is “protected in a pre-nup is your existing wealth and assets, pre-marriage. You can’t protect the savings you generate from your job during marriage. The idea that you want to protect your $400k income is really cute though
I've heard that prenups are only for money that was earned before marriage
Still a good reason to get one.
I don’t think I’ll be making that much lol but no matter how much I’m making I definitely will
Listen, in all honesty, this...
... will turn into THIS:
So, to all you monkeys all across the land, just get a fucking prenup.
Holy shit, the Game of Life PC game from like 2002. This is bringing back strong memories I forgot I even had.
Thank you so much for knowing that. It brings my heart joy to see others' memories with it. +1 SB for you.
Another thread by a single guy making 65K who doesn't know what community property. Fun fun
Another useless goldencinderblock comment with sentence structure errors
what if your wife makes more? mine did before I left her
Wouldnt be opposed to that either
shocked the hell out of me too
What if she just has more? I make more than my fiance (not a ton more but enough) but she has a little family money, nothing crazy but a decent chunk in the bank. We've discussed it a little but haven't gotten into serious talks yet.
Thats hers and any money you bring should be yours....
I was under the impression that prenups were not only for self-wealth preservation, but also for an easier agreed upon split. You’re going to have a better time agreeing to terms when you’re still in “love” than at divorce time when you’re at each other’s necks demanding a “fair” share.
One of the co's I have equity in requires it.
lol that's the perfect excuse to ask for one
I don’t want to marry her if I’m not utterly convinced we will be together forever.
traditional Catholic family values
Do you really think you’re the first person to think you’re outsmarting society by thinking this way? 1/2 of marriages end in divorce. I highly doubt many of those people didn’t have the same attitude as you have now going into it
This is flawed logic because it assumes that both parties will act the same way, behave similarly, continue to fulfill their end of the bargain after kids, 10-15 years into the mix etc. I fully intend to do so, but think of all the people who had active sex lives before marriages and then ended up in dead bedrooms after the fact. Both parties rarely fulfill their end of the bargain
Who doesn't have the "utmost confidence" when marrying someone? In today's world, approximately 50% of marriages end up in divorces, and I'm sure the number is higher. After I had one ex tell me that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me and subsequently break up with me a month later, I'm always going to be on my toes.
Due diligence is a lot easier in college, particularly a regional college if you plan on working in the same region post graduation. I know based off your previous posts that you check off on all these boxes.
Its easier because assuming you plan on staying in the area college isn’t that bad. Sure there are exams and stuff, but you can always set your schedule to start late so even weekday nights can be fun. With recruiting, so long as you get decently good grades in school a regional firm will hire you through OCR. Because of this, you have have decent amount of time on your hands. Add in the fact there are a lot of single women nearby and the clear next move is to start checking some of them out which you can do over a period of months. Also because you are at a regional college, everyone seems to know somebody. Your friend’s friend may very well know or at minimum gone to school with the chic you’re trying to do due diligence on. Planning to stay in the same region makes your life way easier because you know there’s a pretty good chance the girl your checking out will end up in the same area as you, so you don’t have to get past location barriers.
While conditions were ideal for you, often they fail for others for some reason or another. With me personally I went to a non target but I wanted to aim for higher beyond getting a typical corporate job in the same city or close proximity to where I went to school. This required me to network, prepare for interviews far more extensively, and get much better grades than I would have had to had I just settled for the typical path. As a result my social life suffered. Often target school kids fail on every front in that it’s not a “everyone knows everyone” culture and the destination post-graduation is far from being a couple of cities.
Once work hits the amount of time to carry out due diligence drops dramatically, particularly for those who work longer hours in finance. It doesn’t help that a finance hub Manhattan has many many transplants making the due diligence process that much harder.
I’m not complaining by any means. I get that a lot of what I detailed above is a direct result of the choices that me or other users on this site made and that is one of the trade-offs we will have to live with. Having said that, I do think it is extremely short-sighted to say “You should have done your due diligence!” particularly considering the audience of this website.
Pre-nup is always a good idea, but it makes sense to understand what it's good for and how that impacts the conversation.
It's really difficult to say to your partner that because of your differing salaries, you want them to forego rights to marital property in the future. And for good reason; that's like saying you plan on getting a divorce and want the financial freedom to cheat on her (or him). That is just as ethically fucked up and as much of a red flag as a girl not wanting to have a prenup in the first place.
Carve out property you have; that's where the prenup is valuable. You've been banking some nice bonuses for a few years and have $500,000 in the bank or the market or in a home? Have the prenup cover that.
And more to the point, it's not reasonable to ask someone to forego spousal support just because you make more. Marriage is teamwork, so there is a very valid argument to be made that whatever comes in the door during your marriage belongs to both of you equally. Especially since many of us will likely ask our spouses to have children and be primary caretakers.
If you understand (and follow) the concept of separate assets, I don't think a pre-nup is necessary for most people, myself included. You can protect yourself, particularly in the early years of the marriage by segregating your legacy assets. I take no issue with the 50/50 split on everything in marriage. Sure I make more money but she will bring other intangibles to the table and again, just don't see a need to fight over marital earnings with a pre-nup. So, there I'm pretty much protected without even needing a document. I seeded a joint bank account with $250k or so when we got married and that's ours as are my future earnings.
simp
Agreed. No need for prenup. Plenty other ways to put it else where (put it under paper company’s asset, or a offshore AManager account). What kind of fecking system is America anyway. Never heard of prenup commonly used in Europe>Asia. True love ahhhhhh
It’s better to have things in writing. I get what you’re saying, but imo it’s just not worth the chance of missing one little loophole or exception and finding yourself foolishly loosing assets you could have had.
My rich neighbor moved with his wife to the Bahamas and got citizenship there, and she divorced him through Bahamian law. This invalidated his prenup and he got shafted.
damn.
About 90% of the answers on this thread are written by virgins who have never been in a real relationship. In theory, a prenup is a fantastic idea. The reality of explaining this idea to your significant other is much different. Good luck with that and make sure that you have a bag of ice ready in the fridge for the kick in the balls that you're about to get.
Certainly even entertaining the idea that the marriage could go south is difficult particularly in the budding stages of romance. That said honest and open communication even on difficult topics is crucial in relationships. Not being able to talk about difficult scenarios that could happen and planning ahead is a recipe for disaster.
I agree most of the answers aren't great, but I'd also argue that if you can't have this kind of discussion with a potential spouse, you probably aren't ready to marry them in the first place.
If the reason for the prenup is "I make more than you and want to make sure you don't get your hands on it if we get divorced," then yeah, your prescription of an ice pack is appropriate. But there are plenty of legitimate reasons for a prenup, and if you can't explain those clearly without causing a huge fight, that is probably a bad sign for you or your partner's level of maturity.
If she throws a fit and wants to break up over a prenup, it wasn't you she loved in the first place.
If you marry having a $500k net worth (liquid cash, investments, etc) and by the time you divorce you have a $1.1M net worth, you only 50/50split $600k (which is the community property that’s earned during marriage). The $500k is considered separate property and will not be split in a community property state like California.
no need to have a prenup if you’re just protecting your initial $500k
Wow. I am so glad I do not have to deal with this crap now.
The days of "leaving the dance with who brung ya" are clearly dead in todays world. Spending 50 years with someone as a base case is clearly gone. I truly feel for you folks who have to deal with this shit.
When in doubt "lawyer up".
how do u get consistent pussy then? Hard to do without marriage
Can someone please explain this to me? I posted this above, but haven't had any replies:
If you marry having a $500k net worth (liquid cash, investments, etc) and by the time you divorce you have a $1.1M net worth, you only 50/50split $600k (which is the community property that's earned during marriage). The $500k is considered separate property and will not be split in a community property state like California.
There is no need to have a prenup if you're just protecting your initial $500k, right? After all, you have dates and transaction/account statements that prove you had the $500k before marriage, making it separate property (and thus it won't be split 50/50)?
no one on WSO is a qualified enough attorney to comment on this
I'm no help, my wife and I got together when we were both broke teenagers, I see prenups making the most sense if there's a private business involved, but then again that's because my gut reaction is "know who you're marrying and be a good spouse so you don't get divorced" but that's not really helpful here
Not an attorney but married to one. Yes, this is accurate but so many things can happen during a divorce. Your spouse's attorney can find a way to link them to that original $500k and a good one will if there's $$ involved. Is their name on the account? Did they offer you any investment advice with that account? Did you use that account to pay for any joint items? The attorney will bring up all of this during the divorce and then it is up to the court/judge and they can decide whatever they want. I know of a few examples like this and heard of a few more where the judge can just decide whatever the F they want even without a good case.
Definitely - protecting your assets is essential. The person you marry is never the same person you divorce.
I would never get married without protecting my assets. I've worked way too hard for this shit.
Can't believe this many people on this site are so into prenups... if there's any doubt in your mind about marrying someone, don't get married. If there's no doubt, you shouldn't be going in with the expectation (or even thinking about) divorce. It's just a bad way to start a marriage.
Also like a few others have said, unless you're coming in with substantial assets, a prenup is useless. All you first year analysts on here can protect your 20k signing bonus, but your actual future earnings are fair game even with the best prenup in the world. If you have a trust fund / getting married later in life or whatever its a bit different, but even then I just think it's a weird mentality.
For me, I do have an inheritance that could theoretically be protected by a prenup, but I have no intention of doing it. My current girlfriend is in law school so she should be on a decent career trajectory, but even if she had no future earnings I wouldn't be super concerned with a prenup.
If you're that worried about gold digging girls, date a girl with a brain and actual ambition and then you don't need to worry. Its like everyone on here thinks they're Bill Gates and every girl out there is just after their money. Finally, hate to break it to you, but your 150k earnings as a first year analyst probably aren't attracting gold diggers... plenty of dudes a lot richer than you in NYC.
What, high earning individuals looking to protect their assets? Your approach is just a naive way to look at things. Look, no one goes into a marriage looking to get divorced but shit happens. Hell people have long, good marriages and still decide to divorce for one reason or another - people grow apart, want different things, and can change their minds. There are plenty examples above of times were a prenup should be almost automatic - mid 6-figure salary vs high 5-figure, family money, having more financial responsibility during a marriage. It is worth that awkward conversation early on, trust me.
guarantee a fat wildebeest wrote this
Echoing what someone else said above, I've worked way too hard for this shit. I came from parents who had to send me away to relatives at one point because they couldn't afford to raise me. Neither graduated high school, had any networks, any assets. I'd try my best to tell the girl that this isn't personal. That growing up I was just the type of person that always knew I would get a prenup. So this isn't a judgement on her, it's just something that I would always do because of who I am. I can still love her very much and want to be with her for the rest of my life - all these things are not exclusive to each other.
And besides, in that stage of the relationship ideally even before bringing up the prenup, she would already know my answer and thoughts. It shouldn't be like some surprise to her, oh-I'm-shocked-you-think-we-need-one moment. I'd hope I'm in a relationship where my SO understands me well enough/what type of person I am to be able to truly believe me when I tell her that this is nothing personal and doesn't reflect on my degree of love and devotion. And if for example, some random day she found out a friend of hers got a prenup and she happened to give some serious thought to if i was the type of guy to want one - she'd just laugh and think oh yeah probably.
-
Quas consequatur vel ab maxime earum nisi sunt eius. Nostrum eum commodi esse earum veritatis aut. Molestias dolorum reprehenderit mollitia quae ab natus. Voluptates dolores sint saepe quis pariatur ex aspernatur. Sequi est expedita mollitia fugiat voluptatem aliquid ea voluptatem. Iure recusandae temporibus hic eos explicabo ut. Sint harum est debitis culpa qui.
Modi ipsum qui non laboriosam enim. Sed sint rem velit.
Sit et error rem molestias enim. Repudiandae ut error porro est occaecati autem iste laudantium. Consequatur aut aut fugit enim numquam exercitationem voluptatem sapiente. Ut numquam aut ex voluptatum fugiat.
See All Comments - 100% Free
WSO depends on everyone being able to pitch in when they know something. Unlock with your email and get bonus: 6 financial modeling lessons free ($199 value)
or Unlock with your social account...
Adipisci et cum voluptatem iure. Aut numquam aut beatae beatae est veniam et incidunt. Autem et ipsam ex minima debitis est.
Numquam eos quia ut blanditiis qui debitis similique. Accusantium nisi iusto et quis qui. Porro culpa voluptatibus nihil eveniet perferendis. Expedita illum praesentium sit porro similique eos.
Illo minus facilis dignissimos ullam. Voluptatibus minima repudiandae deserunt harum debitis.
Sunt nihil modi est et. Dolore accusamus quaerat adipisci aut. Qui perferendis praesentium enim recusandae debitis nostrum nihil. Totam dolor omnis ut esse ut at.
Maxime totam est nihil assumenda tempore. Ut architecto velit nisi amet. Est maxime inventore vitae deleniti accusantium natus sapiente alias. Velit eum et et voluptatum. Quis quibusdam ratione et excepturi voluptatem vitae qui.
Nostrum sed exercitationem porro odit quia hic maiores. Pariatur provident officiis quo ea facilis qui possimus. Velit et beatae culpa eaque nesciunt eos iure. Nihil sit repellat quas beatae laudantium.
Ullam recusandae officiis voluptatem est earum. Non veritatis nemo cumque aut neque ratione et vel. Modi eum consequatur inventore in ea enim a.